Coming Back To You
by edwardsoul
Summary: Edward can't stay away. One night he comes back into Bella's room, but someone else is already there. SEQUEL: Ch. 10 to 23 Bella is foolish and determined to make things right with Jake. Will the werewolves take away everything that Bella cherishes?
1. My Sanctuary

**It always bothered me a little bit that Bella had to go to Italy to get Edward to come back to her. In this version, Edward has to fight a little harder to win her back! The story is already done. I will update every day, or every other day.**

I should have gone to the Volturi.

It would be better if I were in Volterra right now instead of staring at Bella's window.

I am an idiot. What the hell am I doing here? I am an immortal creature with the strength of a thousand men, yet here I sit cowered in fear in the forest; afraid of taking one more step closer to Bella. I chuckled darkly thinking of how it is all my fault that I am in this impossible situation.

I can't live without her. I need her. I need her like I have never needed anything, or anyone.

But, every moment I spent with her. . . my mind keeps thinking about how close I came to losing her at her birthday party. Just one tiny second later and Jasper would have snapped her neck. I have made myself picture the image over and over again of what it would have been like to see Jasper sucking greedily from her bite wound. Bella's sweet blood coursing down his throat. I have forced myself to see Jasper kneeling down licking up every drop of her blood. It is the only thing that has kept me away this long. Every time I started to come back, I would force all of those monstrous images in my head again. Now, after 6 ½ months, even they weren't enough to keep me from coming back to Bella.

If I could just sleep. If I could just dream about her then maybe I could stay away. If I could love her in my dreams and touch her face and kiss her lovely lips and hold her all night. . . I didn't realize I had stood up and had taken two steps out of my hiding place.

I made myself fall to my knees. _Don't do this Edward. You can be strong. Let Bella be happy. She deserves a life. Do __something__ right by her._ This had become my mantra. I repeated it at least a hundred times a day.

_Maybe, if I go to her, she'll send me away. Perhaps she will tell me that I waited too long and that she has moved on. Maybe all this worrying about her life and future with me is for nothing_. _Just go see her and find out. _

This voice in my head had become more persistent and clever in his arguments.

_Maybe she is in as much pain as you are. Maybe there is an ever widening hole in her chest too. Perhaps she is growing weaker just like you and she doesn't want to fight through the loneliness anymore. Maybe she is about to do something desperate. Hold her tight and tell her you love her and you always have. Save her Edward, save Bella! _

I wrapped my arms over my head and rolled in a tight ball. I didn't know how much longer I could fight this voice.

It was now 1:00 in the morning. If I could last until 6:00 a.m. when the sun came up, then maybe I would be able to leave. . . . I sighed hard. I had to quit kidding myself. This was the third night in a row I had come and put myself through this. Yesterday morning I had stayed until I saw her get in her truck and drive to school. I had to claw my fingers into the large rock behind me to keep myself from running to her. By the time she was down the road, I had turned most of the rock into a pile of dust.

I told myself I was coming to make sure she was okay, just check up on her. When I felt my resolve begin to waver, I should have gone to Volterra. Anywhere but here. Yet, here I am. Rolled up in a ball, one hundred yards from Bella's house after I promised her she would never have to see me again.

I am pathetic.

By 1:30 a.m., my fight was gone. I just kept staring at my sanctuary. Thinking of Bella. She was warm in her quilt, her heart was steadily beating. Perhaps I could lay beside her for a while before she awoke and saw me there. Then, of course, I would spend the next several hours, weeks, whatever. . . . begging her to take me back.

I was now standing under her window.

I jumped up, and slowly and silently opened her window. Her scent permeated my nostrils. In a slight drunken daze I landed noiselessly on her floor. I was here.

As I jumped into Bella's room, two things happened simultaneously. First, the full force of Bella's scent hit me as hard as it did that first day in Biology. Second, I smelled a cursed, vile dog. . . a werewolf.

As I fought down the venom that was swirling in my mouth for Bella, my muscles instinctively tensed into a crouch to fight. My eyes quickly scanned the room. Was Bella in danger from a werewolf?

There she was. She was sleeping. She was fine. I wanted so much to lay by her and hold her, but this stench. . . where was it coming from?

Then I saw him. Jacob Black sitting in the rocking chair fast asleep. What the. . .

Jacob Black was a werewolf?

What was he doing in Bella's room? That was _my_ rocking chair. That's where _I_ always sat. A sickening feeling came into my head. Did Bella jump into Jacob's lap in the morning when he sat in that chair the way she used to jump into mine?

I wanted to kill him. Stupid, vile, young werewolf. He smelled horrible. In less than five seconds he could be dead and out of this room. He was a hopeless excuse for a werewolf too. Here I was, a vampire in Bella's room and he was sleeping right through it. I could be here to harm her. I could have already taken Bella and left, and this revolting dog would be snoring through the whole thing.

My thoughts jumped back to Bella. Was she in love with Jacob Black? A werewolf? I left so that she could find happiness with someone normal and human like Newton, not this animal in front of me.

Rage engulfed me. I could snap Black's neck and throw him off the nearest cliff. I wouldn't even do him the honor of drinking his blood. I took another step closer to Black when a new and nauseating thought entered my head . . . . What if Bella was happy with him? What if he was good to her?

Despair filled me. What if he had kissed her? Those beautiful, full lips. What if . . . she loved Black more than she had ever loved me?

Tearless sobs threatened to escape from my chest.

I was caving in.

I was crumbling.

I was falling.

This was a mistake. I never should have come back.

I took one last look at Bella. Cherished hopes forever gone.

Forever with her. I could have happily endured that. Forever without her. Not a chance. The Volturi was sounding better all the time.

I turned to leave, taking in her scent. She was laying on her side facing away from me. . . I sighed hard. I couldn't leave until I saw her face one last time.

I noiselessly walked to the other side of the bed. I knelt down and stared at her face. She was the most beautiful vision I had ever seen. How many times had I lay in this bed with her? How many times had I brushed the hair away from her face, seen her blush? My arms ached to hold her.

I couldn't stop myself. I kissed her. It was as soft as a moth's wing, but it sent long dormant feelings coursing again through my body.

She didn't wake up, but her head moved up on the pillow so that I could better see her face. My brows furrowed. She had been crying. The tear stains were still on her face and her pillow was wet. Why was she crying?

My eyes traveled down to her arms. She was holding something tightly to her body. It looked like. . . It was. . . she was holding one of my shirts.

I had forgotten she had it. If I had remembered, it would be under the floorboards with everything else that reminded her of me.

Could it be. . . was she crying because she missed me? _Oh please, please let her still love me_. My insides pleaded. _Please say I'm not too late_.

I kissed her again. She stirred and I heard her murmur, "No Jacob. I said no."

For the first time in 7 months, I smiled.

From my three clues: My shirt, her tears, and refusing Black's kisses, I was guessing my chances weren't completely blown.

I looked over at Black and thought, "Tough luck, you stupid, useless werewolf."


	2. Be Safe

**Thank you for the warm reception to the first chapter of this story! **

**Recap:** Edward came back after 7 months, he came in Bella's window and found Jacob there. Jake is there to protect Bella from Victoria, but Edward doesn't know if Bella has fallen in love with him. He is going to try and win Bella back.

**(This is BELLA'S POV)**

It was night again. It seemed like the days and nights just came and went now without me giving them a single thought or notice. It was all I could do to just take that one more breath, to make myself get up in the morning, zombie my way through my classes and then lay in my bed again that night and cry myself to sleep. It had been 7 months. _I should be getting over this by now,_ I kept saying to myself. The gaping whole inside me wasn't listening.

I overheard Lauren at school the other day. She said it loud enough that I could hear, "You'd think she was the first girl to get her heart broken by a guy." The problem was, Edward was not just some guy.

_He never really loved you. Forget about him. Make it like he never existed. Start a new life for yourself. He never really loved you._ _He never really loved you_. This was my mantra. I repeated it to myself a hundred times a day.

Jake's voice broke into my thoughts. "Bells, I will be back about 11:00 tonight. Leave your window open so I can get in." He was whispering to me as I walked him down the driveway.

"Jake, are you sure this is really necessary?" I whined.

Jake stopped and looked at me harshly, "Until we kill that bloodsucker Victoria, yes, it is necessary. Now, it will be just like I told you, the pack will set up a perimeter about 3 miles out, and then watch and wait. I'm not leaving you alone at night anymore until we get her."

I nodded my head and started to trudge back into the house. Jake gave me a big smile and said, "Don't worry Bells, I won't let anything happen to you."

I swallowed hard. I backed my way to the house as I waved good-bye. There was only one person I wanted to protect me. I physically shook my head to try and push the thought out. _He never really loved you. He never really loved you. _

Waiting for someone to come into my room was hitting too close to the wound. I said goodnight to Charlie and got ready for bed. This was going to be one of those nights, I thought. Before I crawled into bed I reached into my bottom drawer and felt way in the back. . . there it was. Edward's shirt. I rationalized that it was okay because it had been almost two weeks since I'd slept with it. _That's a record_ I thought proudly.

I held his shirt tightly to my chest. I brought it up to my nose and drank in deeply. The scent was long gone, but I could still imagine it. For one brief second I let my mind go, picturing his marble arms holding me close. My eyes shot open and I began repeating my mantra, I must avoid those sort of images at all costs. I knew from experience what that kind of thinking could do to me.

It hurt so much to push those lovely thoughts out of my head. My body, my heart, was screaming for them. I had to clench my teeth against the pain. My tears were streaming down my face and I put my hand over my mouth so Charlie wouldn't hear my sobbing. _Why couldn't you love me? I love you so much. I can't stop loving you. I am trying so hard, so hard._

I cried for a long time and I was exhausted when I finally fell asleep. I never heard Jake come in. I woke up once and glanced over and saw him in the rocking chair, and then I turned back around and went back to sleep. The nights when I cried the hardest, were usually the nights I had the strangest dreams. Tonight, my dreams started with Jake. He had kissed me, and I pulled away telling him no, then. . . salvation. My angel dream began. This was the one I always waited for. Some nights it came, and I was so happy tonight was one of those nights.

I opened my eyes and saw my beautiful angel kneeling in front of me. I closed my eyes quickly. I did not want to wake up from this, not now, not ever. I put out my hand and I could feel his cold marble face. I felt my heart breathe a sigh. My heart hadn't beat like this since my last delusion. It had been weeks, entirely too long since I'd heard his velvet voice. I knew I would soon do something very foolish just to hear it again. But now, for the moment, I could feel him. I ran my fingers over his cheek, across his forehead and under his eyes. My heart beat still harder as my thumb brushed across his lips. Only in my dreams was I allowed to say his name, and here I whispered it with all my feeling, "Edward."

A heartbreaking and agonized velvet voice answered back, "Bella." This was new. In all my dreams my angel was never sad, he just loved me again. I let my hand rest again on his cheek. I was trying to think of something to make him stay when I heard a shaky voice cry out, "Get away from her, bloodsucker."

My eyes flew open and I saw my dream still continue. My hand was still on Edward's face and he was staring at me, and I was staring at him and both of us were breathing hard.

I then saw Jake come around the bed and put his hand on my arm. His hand was so hot, and where my hand rested was so cold. Edward was looking so intently at me. He didn't even seem to notice Jake was there. The dream would leave me soon. My angel would soon be gone. He was just inches from my face. _Please don't go._ _Stay with me. Please stay with me._ Then Jake pulled my hand away.

I brought my hands to my face and rubbed at my eyes and sat up. Strangely enough, Jake was still standing by my bed, but he was facing away from me. I whispered, "Jake, what are you doing? I'm sorry that I woke you. . . . Jake for heavens sake, turn around."

Jake was starting to convulse. Ripples were starting down his arms and he was beginning to growl.

I panicked, was Victoria in my room? What about Charlie? I sat up on my knees and peeked around Jake.

It simply couldn't be.

My voice caught in my throat. I felt dizzy. My chest caved in as all my air escaped out of me.

Edward was here. He was in my room. He was here.

He was in a crouched position looking intently at Jacob, but other than that he was calm.

In all my dreams, and picturing him in my mind, not one of my memories touched his loveliness. He was excruciatingly beautiful. I just stared at him. I was afraid to blink in fear the apparition would leave me. Being able to look at him again had the strangest effect on me. All at once I felt whole and free, I also understood again the reason he left. There was no chance this perfection was meant for me.

Jake pulled me back to reality. Through clenched teeth in a shaky voice Jake said, "Get the hell out of here, Cullen."

I panicked. I jumped out of bed and stood on the floor between them. There was absolutely no way Jake was throwing Edward out of my room. I didn't know how long he planned to stay, but I was going to prolong it as long as possible. I put out my arms to draw distance between them. I don't know how I would have stopped a vampire and a werewolf from fighting if they really wanted to, but I would try. Besides, I was worried about the noise.

"Charlie is right next door!" I whispered fiercely. I looked at Jake and whispered, "Calm down Jake, don't even think about turning into a werewolf here in my bedroom." I was trying to be humorous, but even though Jake calmed down some, he wouldn't take his eyes off Edward.

All of the sudden, Edward straightened and said, "Victoria is _here_?

Jacob bolted upright with a look of shocked surprise. He was getting his first taste of Edward's mind reading abilities. Jake shook his head hard, as if he was trying to get Edward out of his mind and said, "_You_ left Bella in danger. The damned she-devil has been trying to get to Bella for months. She's killed and fed on our land. There are five of us and _we_ are dealing with her. Bella doesn't need you to take care of her now."

Edward was furious. His lips curled back from his teeth and there was a growl in his chest as he hissed, "All this time, Victoria has been _here_?" He turned and looked at me and I felt my knees go weak. "Bella, if I had any idea that you were danger I never would have . . ." He didn't finished his sentence. Instead, he looked back at Jake and said, "Where is Victoria now?"

Jake pointed his finger in Edward's face and said, "I told you bloodsucker, stay out of it. Leave now."

Edward stared at Jake intently for a few extra seconds and then he reached in his back pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He spoke to Carlisle.

At first, Edward seemed surprised about something. "You are here in Forks?" he said to Carlisle. He put his hand up to his forehead and sighed and then said, "Don't even tell me, I know this is Alice's doing."

Edward immediataely became serious and said, "Carlisle, Victoria is here. She is after Bella. At the last sighting, she was about five miles away from Forks. There are werewolves here from the reservation, and they have set up a perimeter. Get everyone and meet me in the forest by Bella's house." There was a pause and then Edward said, "Yes, I said werewolves." There was shorter pause, and then Edward said, "Send Rosalie."

Jake was furious that Edward had read his mind again. "You are not bringing your pack of leeches anywhere near us!" He growled.

Edward had lost his patience. In a movement so quick I didn't see his hands move, he had Jake by the throat. I jumped out of the way.

"Listen Black," he said, "I am trying to stay calm because number one I am very grateful that you have been protecting Bella, and number two, Charlie is next door. Nothing you say will make me back down and walk away from killing Victoria. She will die this night. You can take our help and we can work together, or you can continue to bark at me and there's a chance that Victoria will again slip through both our fingers." Edward got right in Jake's face and said, "What's it gonna be?"

Jake towered over Edward by at least 6 inches, but Jake made no move to put his hands on him. Edward released his grip and wiped his hand on his pants as if there was dirt on it. Jake's hand came up to rub his neck momentarily and then he defiantly pointed again at Edward and said, "It's all your fault that Bella is in danger in the first place."

"All the more reason I should have a hand in killing her," Edward shot back.

Jake started to say something else when I put up my hand and quietly said, "Enough."

I swallowed hard and gathered up all my courage and looked at Edward. I opened my mouth to speak and made the mistake of looking into his eyes. I had to swallow again. I had forgotten to breathe. I immediately looked down at the floor and asked my question.

"What is the plan?" Four words. It shouldn't be so hard. I closed my eyes and readied myself to hear his velvet voice again.

He walked a step towards me and said softly, "They will all be here in a few minutes. Rosalie will come and stay with you, and then the rest of us will go and hunt Victoria down."

He then turned to look at Jake and said, "You however, can leave anytime."

Jake was incensed. He gritted his teeth and said, "I leave when you leave and not a minute sooner."

Edward hissed back, "I would like to speak with Bella alone."

Jake took a step towards Edward. I was about to say something when Rosalie came in the window as gracefully as a butterfly landing on a flower.

Rosalie's nose immediately turned up and she grimaced. "Ugh, there is an overwhelming smell of dog. . ." then she looked at Edward, "And testosterone."

Edward ignored the comment and said, "Rosalie, we may be gone hours. . .don't take your eyes off Bella for a second, understand?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and said, "Don't worry."

Jake looked Rosalie up and down. His face twisted and he said, "_This_ is what you send to protect Bella?"

Rosalie hissed and Edward grew very serious. "I trust Rosalie completely when it comes to Bella. Any of my family would match up to Victoria in a fight, but Rosalie is definitely, the most. . . . vicious." Rosalie seemed extremely pleased with Edward's remark.

I was out of my mind with worry. I did not want Edward anywhere near Victoria. The hole was opening up again. When Edward went out that window, I knew he would never come back. I wanted to scream "Don't go!" But, I had begged him not to go once before, and it didn't stop him.

My arms went instinctively around my middle just like every time I felt the pain. I started to back away from everyone. Tears were on my cheeks again. I never got the chance to say anything to him. My angel was leaving and I would never see him again.

I was sure it was as much for Edward's benefit as it was mine when Jake came and hugged me. He was so large he completely engulfed me. "Please be careful," I said. Before he pulled away, he grabbed my face and kissed me on the forehead.

I stole a peek at Edward as Jake pulled away. His hands were shut tight with this arms down by his sides and the veins and muscles in his arms were bulging. His jaw was clenched and his nostrils were flared. His chest was rising up and down rapidly. Rosalie looked at him with her eyebrows raised and a smirk on her face.

Jake walked to the window and stood there as if to say, "You first."

I looked at Edward. He was staring at me. He swallowed hard and started to take a step towards me and then stopped. I wanted him to grab me and breathe his sweet breath into my face and make my head swirl while he kissed me hard over and over, but instead he simply said, "If it's all right, I would like to talk to you when this is over." His brow was furrowed as he waited for my answer.

All I could do was nod my head. When he got to the window he stopped and looked back at me and said, "Be safe." Then he was gone.

Jake watched him jump and then he turned to look at me. His expression was a mix of hurt, love, and determination. I attempted a smile for his benefit. It didn't work. "Bye Bells, I love you," he said. When I didn't answer, he set his chin and jumped out.

When they were gone, it was dead silent for a moment, then Rosalie turned to look at me and said, "You certainly know how to keep life interesting don't you?"


	3. So Loved

**Thank you to eveyone who has been following my story and has been kind enough to review! **

**I am posting two chapters - 3 and 4 at the same time. Four is pretty short and 5 is going to be really long. But, it is the one where Edward and Bella finally talk! **

**This chapter may seem useless, but it sets up how Bella feels about everything, and we see a little more into Rosalie's head.**

**Recap: Edward comes back and sees Jake in Bella's room. He does not know if they are together. Jake and Edward go to battle Victoria. Edward has Rosalie guard Bella. Edward says he wants to talk to Bella when he gets back. Bella is going crazy in her room, just waiting.**

(Bella's POV)

I sat in the darkness in my room, and there were two things I couldn't believe were actually happening. The first was that after 7 months, Edward had just been in my bedroom, and second, that Jake and Edward were out battling Victoria.

It had been completely silent outside for almost an hour. I don't know what I expected to hear. Maybe a werewolf howl, or a female homicidal vampire screaming her last breath, but not hearing anything made my imagination run wild. Jacob was so young, he was a little overconfident and thought himself invincible, but what 16 year old didn't? When that 16 year old is also a werewolf, that is a mixture for trouble.

But, I was mostly worried about someone else. What if something went wrong? What if there was an ambush? Victoria was smart, maybe she brought friends and they were just waiting for Edward to arrive to take out their revenge.

I was pacing anxiously. Rosalie was standing watch between the window and the door. Finally, she lost patience with me. "Bella, you're pacing a hole in the floor. Would you please sit down for a while?"

I didn't want to sit down. If I sat down I might get sleepy. What if I fell asleep and Edward came back? He would come for Rosalie and I would never see him again. Even if he was in my room again for just a moment, I wouldn't miss it for anything.

While on the phone talking to Carlisle, Edward had said the whole family was back. Why were they here? I was refusing to ask why Edward was here. I wouldn't even let myself go anywhere near that realm of thinking. At this point, dashed hopes would finish off what 7 months of a broken heart had been trying to do.

He said he wanted to talk to me. I had already guessed why. He was just checking up on me. Edward and his God complex. He wanted to make sure I was doing okay. One good look at me ought to answer that question. Well, I would put on a brave face and tell him that I was great. I wanted a lot of things from Edward, but pity wasn't one of them.

Rosalie's phone rang. I jumped. The phone was already at her ear before I had time to recover. Her side of the conversation was entirely cryptic. "She's fine. . . okay. . . whatever. . . bye." She seemed almost bored as she hung up.

"What's going on?" I asked. She sighed and said, "That was Edward. As far as they can tell, Victoria is all alone. They have spotted her twice, and they are pushing her away from you before they attack. They are heading North. They have no idea how long it will be. He called because they were about to make their move and would not be able to talk for awhile." She said this all in a monotone voice as if she were talking about what color of nail polish she was wearing.

I was beside myself with worry. I wish Alice had come instead. I could cry on her shoulder and she would at least be able to tell me how this would all turn out.

I gave in, I was exhausted. I didn't go to my bed, but I sat down in the rocking chair and tucked my legs up, holding them with my arms.

Rosalie had relaxed a little bit after Edward's phone call, although she was still keeping guard. She glanced over at me and said, "You know, you look terrible."

I looked at her and chuckled darkly and said, "Yeah. . . well, I've been sick."

She raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me and said, "I don't think so."

I changed the subject. "So, where have you been the last several months?" I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer. Edward might be involved somewhere in this conversation and I absolutely didn't want to hear about him and some beautiful vampire "distraction".

"Emmett and I have been traveling. We have mostly been in Africa. Basically we were on a Safari." My eyebrows lifted. I was picturing Emmett going after an irritable rhinoceros.

"What about Carlisle and Esme, is Carlisle working in a hospital somewhere?"

"Carlisle and Esme have been living in upstate New York. He has been working at a hospital there. And since you will ask next about Alice and Jasper, they have been staying in Denali with Tanya's family."

She didn't offer me anything about Edward. I hoped she wouldn't. I had a feeling that she would be heartless and give me every detail of how great Edward's life was going. I was the just the stupid, clumsy human that he was glad to be rid of.

"You are all so far apart from each other," I said.

Rosalie folded her arms and her lips went into a perfect pout. "For the past several months we haven't been a very happy family."

It made me sad to hear that. They were the closest and most loving family I knew. I wanted to ask why, but I was afraid the answer would hurt too much. I was almost sure the answer had something to do with Edward.

"I'm so sorry," was all I said.

Rosalie shrugged her shoulders and looked away.

I didn't know where to take the conversation from there. This was the most she and I had ever talked. I knew she didn't really want to be here, which didn't help.

After about 10 minutes she said, "So, what have you been doing besides hanging out with werewolves and being stalked by a vampire?"

I grinned. At least she was making an effort. "I have been going to school and working."

"Seen any movies lately?" she asked.

The last movie I saw was that horror film with Mike and Jake. That night had been a complete disaster. "No," I answered.

"Gone to any school dances?"

"No."

"Been to any of the basketball games?"

"No."

"Been shopping in Port Angeles?"

"No."

She just stared at me. She folded her arms and walked over to check out the window, then she was back in the middle of the room.

"I take back what I said about your life being interesting," she said.

I just sighed and let my head fall back against the rocking chair.

"Maybe you should get some sleep." she said.

"No," I answered too quickly.

Rosalie rolled her eyes impatiently and said, "Bella, you don't have to worry, you're not in any danger."

"It's not that," I said, I just. . . ." Oh what the heck, it didn't matter what I said, it wouldn't change anything. "If Edward comes back and I'm asleep, then I'll never see him again."

I was staring out at nothing wondering how I was ever going to get over Edward. The wound felt as fresh as the day he said good-bye. Tears started to fall down my face. More tears. I was too weary to try and stop them.

I was anticipating him saying good-bye to me again. My arms went to my middle. Not even Jacob would be able to save me now.

I didn't want saving anymore. No matter how much danger I was in, Edward could never come and save me again. I wanted him far, far away. If my heart had hope, it would keep beating, waiting. It would beat forever if it thought there was a chance. This time when Edward said good-bye and walked away, I would make my heart believe it. . . . and then I would lie down and listen to it slowly fade and die.

Despair had me. All I remember is sitting there with my head in my hands when I felt a cold hand on my arm. I looked up and saw Rosalie standing in front of me.

"You still have feelings for Edward." It wasn't a question.

I stared at her without answering.

She cocked her head to the side and said, "I never thought you really loved Edward. I thought it was just some sick fascination. I assumed one day you would hurt him. I thought you were intruding on our family and I was glad when he ended it."

She stood up straight and folded her arms. She looked at me like she had never seen me before. "Listen," she said in a much softer and kinder voice than she had ever used with me. "They may be gone hours and you need to be well-rested when Edward gets back." She smiled reassuringly, "I promise that when Edward comes I will wake you up."

"What if. ." I began to say.

"There is no "if". I am very persuasive." She said proudly.

As if to demonstrate her persuasiveness, she pulled me up and guided me to my bed. She pulled back the covers and motioned for to get in.

I didn't care anymore. I lay down on my pillow and pulled the covers on me. I saw Edward's shirt. I grabbed it and let it drop on the floor. This was over. In more ways than one.

It was silent for about 5 minutes. My eyes were heavy, but I couldn't go to sleep. There was a question that had been with me all these months since the very moment Edward had left. I never dared to ask it. But now, in a few hours, I was going to let Edward go forever. I needed the question to be out there, somewhere, even though it would forever go unanswered.

"Rosalie," I whispered.

"Hmm," she murmured. She was not looking at me, she was staring out the window.

"For all that time that Edward was here. . . If he didn't really love me, then why did I feel _so loved_?"

Then I fell asleep.


	4. Fatal Vow

**This chapter is from Edward's POV**

The battle was tremendous. All these months I had been arrogantly attempting to track Victoria thinking I would then kill her with my bare hands. She was no match for 6 strong vampires and 5 werewolves, certainly, but it had been quite a fight.

I looked down at myself. I would never want Bella to see me like this. I was covered in gore. Victoria's and mine. I was smeared with mud and I reeked of werewolf.

Those werewolves certainly enjoyed the fight. Two had serious injuries. One of them was Jacob Black and he was pretty bad off. I shook my head. I had to give the boy credit. I had never seen a werewolf change in mid-air before.

Our plan worked. We pushed Victoria away from Bella and sent half of us ahead to trap her. Once she realized she was surrounded, the fun really began. After several hours of mayhem she began to tire. Ultimately, Emmett threw her about 75 feet. Black and I each caught a limb and ripped her apart. However, she hurt Black quite badly before going down.

As we watched her burn, those boys danced around the fire and let out bone-chilling war cries. I was standing off to the side holding my arm steady. My left shoulder was injured, but I was managing. It gave me a chance to watch Black, and see if I could gain any information about Bella. Black and I were on opposite sides of the fire. Although he was already healing, he was still too wounded to dance. As I watched the flames, I knew if given the chance, Black would be dancing over my ashes.

He caught me glaring at him, and Black and I stared at each other through the flames. As soon as we made eye contact, I was hit full force with his feelings for Bella. His jaw was clenched with the effort he was using. He was definitely in love with her.

I saw him raise an eyebrow and then the scenes changed. I saw him kissing her. He was holding her and running his fingers through her hair. They were lying in her bed, and she was kissing him back. I had no idea if these things had actually happened, or if he just wanted them to, all the same, the rage I had when killing Victoria was nothing compared to what I felt now.

He couldn't have her. I would never let it happen. I didn't care what kind of monster it made me, or whether or not Bella still wanted me. I would kill Black before I let him have her. We stared at each other across that fire, and I saw he was making the same fatal vow to himself.

So, that was how it was to be. Bring it on. He was a cursed, vile animal, but then, I was a monstrous immortal without a soul. Fate had taken many things from me, but Black would never, never have Bella.

Right now, maybe for the last time, Bella was waiting in her bedroom for _me_. She loved me once. I would do all in my power to show her how much I still wanted, needed and loved her. I said good-bye to my family and ran to Bella.

**He's running to Bella guys! They will talk in the next chapter - which will be up tomorrow afternoon!!**

**Please review!!! I have no idea what anybody thinks if you don't tell me. Scathing criticisms are welcome. Is Edward too jealous? Was my Rosalie too far off her character? Do you think Bella should pick Jake? Let me know!!!**


	5. For Right Or Wrong

Okay, Edward is finally coming back to talk to Bella! He has just finished his battle where he killed (yea!) Victoria, and Bella and Rosalie had a little talk.

Remember what I said about making Edward work a little harder to win Bella back????

**I am pretty sure that I will update tomorrow - it will be my birthday and unless my friends take me right from school instead of waiting until later, I will be here to update. Is it a good idea to update over the weekend, or just wait until Monday? Are you guys able to read these on the weekend?**

**(Bella's POV)**

About 9:30 in the morning I felt Rosalie shaking me.

"Bella, Edward just called. He will be here in about 10 minutes. He went to change his clothes first."

_Probably wants to get out of Forks as fast as he can after seeing_ _me_, I thought. At any rate, I jumped out of bed and was heading for the bathroom when I remembered Charlie.

"What about Charlie?" I asked

"He left for fishing about 5:30," she said.

It must be Saturday, I thought. I really had lost track of the days.

I went into the bathroom and did what I could in 10 minutes to prepare for Edward. I looked at the finished product in the mirror. I was a shadow of my former self. If I thought I was too plain for Edward before, I was certainly beyond hope now. Beyond hope, perfect choice of words.

I could hear voices. My velvet voice was back, but not my velvet voice anymore. I finished and stepped out of the bathroom and into my room. There he was. He was such a beautiful angel. It seemed so right for him to be here.

I tried to look in his face, but it hurt way too much. I couldn't do this . . . I was losing my courage.

I could be strong. I _would_ be strong. I had already decided that I was going to make it easy for him to leave. I would let my angel go. I would show him I was fine and that I was happy for the time we had, but we both knew it wouldn't last. I would act casual and friendly. I leaned against my doorway and took a deep breath.

I was so glad he wouldn't be around to see me fall apart. So glad he would never see what his leaving would do to me.

One last time, I was here with my true love, one last time.

(Edward's POV)

I got to Bella's room and Rosalie greeted me.

"She's in the bathroom," she said.

I nervously cleared my throat and asked, "Rosalie, has she said anything about me?"

Rosalie folded her arms and looked straight at me, "We talked about a lot of things Edward, but sorry, your name never came up."

I opened my mouth to speak but Rosalie stopped me. "Look, you were wrong, about everything. Imagine, the great all knowing Edward was wrong about something."

I was glad to see Rosalie hadn't changed in the seven months since I'd seen her. I stepped away from her to move my left arm around. It had been a while since I'd been injured like this. If I had been mortal, I am sure I would be in surgery somewhere having my arm put back together. The pain was lessening. I looked in Bella's mirror and I was glad to see the cuts that were visible on my face were almost gone.

"Is Emmett home?" Rosalie asked.

"He was still out watching the reservation boys dance around Victoria's ashes when I left," I replied.

"Speaking of the reservation boys, what about that kid that was here before? Bella seemed to know him pretty well." Rosalie had a smirk on her face again.

I could feel my muscles tense at the mention of Black. Venom began to course through my mouth. "I'll kill that animal before I let him near Bella again." I growled.

Rosalie put her hands on her hips and said, "Ooh, big tough Edward. Would that be because he is a werewolf, or because he is a boy interested in Bella?"

I began to answer, but again, Rosalie stopped me. "You are the one that left. Bella is free to see whomever she pleases. What would Carlisle say?"

My lips pressed in a hard line. I knew everything she was saying was true. Apparently jealousy was a weakness of mine that I wasn't aware of until I met Bella. Would I have reacted the same way if I had come into Bella's room last night and found Newton there? I was ashamed to know the answer would be yes. I didn't want Bella to be with anyone but me.

As if on cue Bella came into the room.

Too high and fast for Bella to hear, Rosalie said, "You do right by her Edward," and then she was out the window.

Bella's scent was already everywhere in the room, but when she walked in, the sweetness of it became much more intense. I closed my eyes and let it wash over me. It was driving me crazy. I wanted to smell behind her ear and on her wrists. I swallowed the venom in my mouth. I was out of practice at calming myself.

I studied her more closely as she was leaning against her door frame. I wasn't prepared for what I saw. She was way too thin. She looked brittle, breakable. Hey eyes were sunken and lifeless. The fire and intensity I loved in those dark eyes was gone. She looked like a feather that would blow away at the slightest breeze.

Did I do this to her?

If I did, then I was far worse than a monster.

I couldn't have done this, for me to be the cause then she would have to love me. . . as much as I loved her. I knew that if I was a mortal, and breakable, that I would look just like her right now.

"Hello Edward," her voice was quiet but sure.

"Hello Bella."

I hated this awkwardness between us. I hated me for being the cause of it.

"Did everything go the way you hoped?" she asked.

"Victoria is dead." I answered softly.

"Is everyone okay?' she wondered.

By everyone, did she mean Black? Right now, she was with me. I would not preoccupy her mind with thoughts of Black's injuries.

"Everyone is fine," I answered.

She stood up straight and said, "Well, I bet you're happy to have that problem taken care of. Now, you can go on with your life and never have to worry about Forks again."

She was not going to get rid of me that easily.

"Bella, I don't plan on leaving Forks." I said quietly.

I saw a look of panic in Bella's eyes. She tried to hide it by looking down and I saw her swallow hard. She was gripping the door handle for support. "Well," she said. "I suppose we'll see each other from time to time. I will . . . enjoy being your friend."

I felt the anxiousness rise in me. I could never be this close to Bella and just be her friend. I couldn't read her at all. Was she saying all this just for my benefit? Was she worried I would see her and Black together? I had to make my move now. This was where the explanation and the serious begging was going to begin. But, she looked so vulnerable that I thought I had better do this slowly. I didn't want to scare her away. Apologies first.

"Bella, I am so sorry for leaving you in such danger." I took a few steps towards her. "For the first few months I was gone, I spent most of my time tracking Victoria. I thought I was close on her trail, but I lost her somewhere in South America. I never dreamed she would come back here. I am so sorry."

She swung her arms in a carefree way and crossed the room and hopped on her bed. "No big deal, Jake was doing a great job protecting me."

The venom rose again and I could hear a growl rising in my chest. _The thought of Black protecting Bella just_. . . .I took a deep breath. Getting angry right now would solve nothing.

I answered as calmly as I could. "Then how come three months after Victoria returned to Forks they still had not killed her."

"Because, she said, "I didn't know Jake was a werewolf until a month ago. He was doing everything he could to keep it from me. But, do you remember me telling you about the day at the beach when I flirted with him?"

"Yes," I answered through clenched teeth.

"Well, along with vampires, he also told me about the werewolves. I eventually figured out that he had become one. After I figured that out, he told me about the red-headed vampire that was killing people in the forest. I knew it was Victoria. I explained my history with her, and as soon as Jake realized what Victoria was actually trying to do, which was kill me, the pack changed their tactics. Jake hasn't left me alone since."

I couldn't stop myself from asking the question.

"How long has Black been staying with you in your room at night?"

She stared down at her quilt. "That's none of your business," She said quietly.

I took a step closer and asked, "Have you kissed Jacob Black?"

"That's no longer any of your concern," she whispered.

I ran my hands over my face. This was not going well. I walked around her room for a minute to clear my head. She just sat silently on her bed looking down at her quilt.

I hadn't been able to get her to look into my eyes once since I'd returned. She wouldn't even look at my face. I had lost her. She was mine and she loved me and begged me not to leave and I had rejected her. She not only offered me her love, but her soul, and I had walked away. I had told her I didn't love her.

I just had to know the answer to a horrible question before I went on. I turned around and in my most velvet voice I asked, "Bella, do you love Jacob?"

She took a deep breath. I however, had stopped breathing.

"Edward, I am not sure what these questions have to do with anything. What does it matter? If you came back to check and see how I am, then let me tell you, I am fine. Really. . . fine."

She was still looking down. I knelt down beside her bed in an effort to see her face and possibly get her to look at me. I had to tell her what was in my heart. No matter what, I was not leaving here until she knew how I really felt about her. If she had feelings for Black, then I would fight to win her back. If she decided to stay with him, (deep breath) I would still always love her, and understand it was me that had ruined everything. Somehow, I would have to get over my rage. I knew deep inside that I could not kill Black out of jealousy.

I had been here all this time and I hadn't touched her once. I ached to hold her.

I very gently took one of her hands in mine. It was not as warm as I remembered. I felt her stiffen. But, I heard her heart quicken ever so slightly. She was like a china doll and I was so afraid I would hurt her. She still would not look at me.

"Bella," I said softly, "I don't want to just be your friend. I came back because I couldn't stay away from you another day. I may be too late, you have every right to find someone else, but if there's a chance for me, I am going to fight for you. I need you Bella, so much. Bella, I love you and I always have. I never stopped loving you."

I wanted her to jump off the bed and into my arms. I wanted her lips on mine so badly I could already taste them. But, she stayed right there on the bed. She didn't move at all. She still wouldn't look me in the face. She just stared down at her quilt.

In a whisper she said, "I'm . . . confused."

I took this moment to make my move. I couldn't stay away from her another second. I got up and sat on the bed across from her and took both of her hands in mine and held them to my face.

"What do you mean Bella? Don't you remember everything I have ever told you?"

Bella finally looked up at me, but she avoided my eyes. What I saw in her face broke any heart I had. There were tears beginning to come down her cheeks and her eyes were full of so much hurt. She broke her hands out of my grasp and used them to defiantly wipe the tears away.

"I remember standing as close as we are now when you told me you didn't love me anymore. I reached out for you and you held my arms down so I couldn't touch you and _then you left."_

I flinched at her words. They stung far worse than anything I received from Victoria. She wasn't through.

"I tried to follow you. I also remember the rain as I laid curled in a ball for hours and hours deep in the forest. I could hear people calling my name, but I wouldn't answer. If Sam Uley had not stepped right on me, I'd still be out there rotting."

I didn't want to hear any more of this.

"I remember Charlie threatening to send me away, but I wouldn't go. I would hear your voice in my head and. . ." she started to cry again.

I was about to reach out to her when she looked at me again with anger in her face.

"You tell me to remember. But you're the one who took my memories right? The music you made for me, the gift your parents gave to me, and you even took away the memory of your face." She shook and whispered, "Why did you have to take away the pictures?"

I reached out for her and she pulled away. I felt like something heavy was sitting on my chest. "Bella, please, please, don't pull away from me. Give me a chance to explain, I. . . ."

"Explain what Edward? I get it. It never made sense for you to love me. I now completely understand why you never wanted to change me. I don't want your guilt. I don't want your pity. It lasted longer than it should have. I just want to thank you for making me so happy and for sticking around as long as you did. I am making it as easy as I can for you to walk away."

Bella stood up by the side of the bed. This was her cue for me to go.

Very softly I said, "You don't want me to leave, Bella."

"Get over yourself." She blurted out.

Very slowly, I rose up beside her and grabbed her by the shoulders and put my forehead to hers.

"Bella, I lied when I said I didn't love you. You were in danger every moment you were around me. I couldn't bear to see you die. I had to care more about your happiness than my happiness. I had to think past my selfishness in keeping you close to me. I had to try. It was stupid. The birthday party, I. . ." I shook my head, "Bella, I don't know how to do this. All I know is that I can't be without you anymore. Not now, not ever."

Being this close to her was intoxicating. I was alive for the first time in so long. My breath was coming out in ragged gasps. I reached to kiss her. The anticipation was driving me mad. Just before my lips reached hers, she pulled away.

I blinked back at the shock.

"Bella, what's wrong? Just talk to me, tell me what you want me to do."

Bella finally looked into my eyes. It took my breath away. All the moments and feelings I had tried to forget these past months were all coming back to me. She was my link to everything good and warm and sweet. She was what held me to sanity and happiness. I was lost in her eyes, just dreaming of all I wanted with her. I was brought back to reality by her question.

"Edward, how long will you be here?"

That was all she was worried about? I put my hands on each side of her face. I watched her eyes close for a moment, then she was intently staring at me again.

"Bella, my love, I will never leave you again. I am here until you send me away. I am yours. I was dead without you. Everything was meaningless. Nothing could ever make me leave you again."

I went to kiss her, and again she pulled away. I bent over and put my hands on my knees and closed my eyes.

She backed away from me. "What about the next time I get a paper cut or a stray non-vegetarian vampire stops by for a visit? You seemed pretty sure of your decision last time. So sure you stayed away 7 months. What will make you go next time? How long will you stay away?"

She was so afraid, so fragile. Her love for me had broken her. I had made her afraid of me, afraid of loving me. I was wrong about everything. Rosalie was right. I had lived over 100 years, through countless wars, and seeing so much change in the world. I had seen generations of people and heard their minds and thought I knew it all. I was sure that for Bella, I was just a first love. She would get over me. She was so young, she could never love me the way I loved her. She had parents that did not even stay together, how could she understand lasting love? I had been wrong. She loved me. Just as much as I truly loved her. I was desperate to take all her pain away. I was thinking of what to say or do when she said words that cut me.

"Please go Edward, I can't survive the next time."

I thought maybe I should go. I would come back later tonight. I would lay beside her and tell her over and over how much I loved her. But what if Jacob came back to her room tonight?

"Bella," I whispered. "Do you still love me?"

"Don't ask me that Edward," she was backing away from me, but her eyes said everything she was too afraid to confess.

In one quick movement I was standing in front of her and I grabbed her face and kissed her.

My fantasies did not do justice to what it felt like to have my lips on hers again. At first, Bella stiffened and didn't respond, then, to my joy, and relief, her wall was broken and she was kissing me back.

Her hands went greedily to my face and hair. I wanted so much to tell her how I felt, but when our lips parted for a moment all I could do was whisper her name.

Without taking my lips off hers, I picked her up and laid her on the bed. I was alive. More alive than I had been in such a long time. I didn't know how I had ever left, or how I had stayed away from her for so long. I pressed my body against hers. I could feel every line of her. My lips parted from hers for just a moment and I said, "For right or wrong, I am yours forever."

My lips traveled to her neck. Oh, how I had missed her beautiful neck. My lips brushed along her collarbone. I kissed her shoulders, her wrists, behind her ear. I kissed her until I knew I had to stop. I pulled away and waited for the muscles in my jaw to stop contracting and the venom that was rising in my mouth to subside. My throat was burning. I waited for the painful yearnings in my stomach for her blood to go away. _For right or_ _wrong Bella, for right or wrong. I can't stay away_. Was all I kept thinking.

I lay down on her chest and listened to her heartbeat. It was so beautiful. It was my favorite music. It was pounding out a hard beating rhythm that I knew my heart would be playing for her, if I had one.

After a few minutes she tentatively touched my hair. I had made her not trust me. I planned to spend every minute of every day showing her that I would never leave and would always love her.

"Edward, you really love me?" she whispered.

"I truly do. You are more important to me than anything." It was so good to again tell her how I felt.

"Edward," she said softly.

I raised my head up to look at her lovely face. "Yes, Bella?"

"I never kissed Jacob."

I was so happy that my idiotic crooked smile came out on my face. I got right up so I could look into her eyes. "You have no idea how happy you just made me," I whispered.

She touched my face and traced under my eyes and over my lips. I closed my eyes and breathed her in. She put her arms around my neck and held on to me tighter than she ever had before. I could feel her shaking.

Then she whispered in my ear, "I could never love Jacob the same way I love you. When you left, you took my heart with you."

I kissed her softly and said, "I don't deserve any loyalty or love for what I have done, but I am so grateful you are here with me." I kissed her again and said, "These lips are mine and I'll never leave them again." I kissed her again and said, "Never."

She swallowed hard and said, "It is going to take some time for me to trust myself."

My brows furrowed, "Trust yourself, what do you mean?"

She swallowed hard. "To trust myself to be enough to hold you. To be what you need so that you will want to stay."

It broke me to hear her talk that way. "Bella, your hold on me is permanent and unbreakable. I was 3,000 miles away curled up in an attic in Brazil and you were all I thought about. You have changed me Bella. Forever."

I kissed her again. This was heaven. I ran my lips over her neck and whispered in her ear, "I plan on using the rest of my days showing you how great the hold is you have on me. Time Bella, we have lots of time."

She smiled at that. I loved to see her smile. I promised myself I would make her smile everyday.

We spent a lot of time in Bella's bed that day. We lay there staring at each other while we listened to the rain hit the window. All I wanted was her by my side. To be close to her again.

In the afternoon, we went to my house and she was so happy to see my family. Emmett gave her bear hugs about every 5 minutes. I had to thank Alice. She knew that as soon as I made the decision to check on Bella, that I was coming back to stay. I tried to disagree with her, and asked her not to tell the family, but she told me that she would just let Carlisle know where I was. What she actually did, was call the whole family and tell them it was safe to come back. It was good for us all to be back in this house again. Rosalie walked around with a smug look on her face. This was going to take a while to live down.

Chief Swan was due home soon. Bella wanted to be alone when she broke the news to her dad that I was back. I told her I would be in her room at 10:00 sharp that night. I hated to let her go. I couldn't wait to be back in her room all night. My sanctuary.

I tried hard to keep myself busy. I kept checking my watch. I even checked once to see if it was working because time wasn't moving fast enough. At 9:00 I went out for a drive. Speed and loud music always helped me to calm down.

Finally, at 10:00, I was at her window. I was so glad to be back here. So thankful Bella wanted me back.

I jumped in her room, and immediately, I knew something was wrong. My muscles tensed, and all my senses were on fire. Bella was gone, and the room reeked of werewolf.

**Okay, that last line was really evil of me, I know. . . . But now the fun really begins!!!!!!**

**I put it at the top, but just in case, should I update over the weekend, or wait until Monday. I can't update on Saturday - the earliest would be Sunday. If you care, let me know. **


	6. Betrayal

**First, I want to thank everyone for reviewing. It means a lot ot me. Even though the story was already written, your reviews are so great, that I keep going back to see how I can improve the next chapter before you read it. You are just freakin awesome. I will probably submit on Sunday - it is my b-day today and my family and friends have plans for me all weekend - Can't wait to hear from you!!! **

**Bella POV)**

I blinked my eyes. I didn't understand what the heck was going on. I had been laying on my bed, eagerly waiting for Edward, when all of the sudden, Jake was in my room. He didn't have a shirt on. His skin was shiny from running and he was breathing hard. He had a desperate look on his face and he was shaking. Before I had time to react, he had me over his shoulder. He jumped out the window and ran towards the forest. He was running very fast. Suddenly, he turned sharply and came out at the road. His car was there, and he threw me in and went tearing off onto the highway.

He was driving fast and recklessly. I sat up to look out the window and saw we were heading towards La Push.

"Uh, Jake. . . what are you doing? If you wanted me to come out for a visit all you had to do was call." In tense situations, humor always worked best on Jake.

There was silence from the front seat.

I maneuvered my way to the front and sat down beside him. I put my hand on his arm. He was burning hot. He was still shaking.

"Jake, what's the matter?"

He gave a sideways glance and said, "Did you know Cullen was coming back?"

"I had absolutely no idea, Jake."

He was silent again.

I glanced at my watch. It was 9:45. Edward would be at my house in 15 minutes. Warmth flowed through me. It felt so good to say that Edward would be at my house. The day had been a dream that just yesterday I had dared not even let myself imagine. It had only been a few hours since I saw him, but I was so anxious to be in his arms again. Which made the present situation all the more troubling.

"Jake, this is ridiculous, what is going on?" I said.

He sighed and said, "You and I need to have a talk."

Crap. I did not want to hurt Jake. I knew his feelings for me were much different than mine for him. I did love him . . . as my best friend. He had brought me through a terrible time. I wouldn't have made it without him.

I don't think he wanted my appreciation. He wanted me. I didn't want him to think I was using him. I loved all the time we spent together, but I should have stopped it when I knew he was developing feelings, and I didn't. I needed him too much.

This was going to take longer than 15 minutes.

I was getting angry. "Jake, you can't just drag me out of my room like that and then not tell me where you're taking me?"

Silence again.

No matter how hard I tried, I could not get him to talk to me. We pulled in front of Sam and Emily's house. I got out and he was immediately at my side. Like I would try to run from a werewolf. He took my hand like he always had and held on tight.

"Let's go over there and talk, he said."

He pointed to a group of trees at the side of the house. I didn't understand why he couldn't have this talk with me at _my_ house.

He sat me on a log and then he stood right in front of me.

"Bella, you know how I feel about you, but in case you are unsure," he paused and took a big breath, "Bella, I love you."

I didn't want him to do this. "Jake I. . ."

"No Bella, let me finish." He put his hand up to stop me.

He stared right into my eyes with so much earnestness. "Cullen has hurt you so much." He got tears in his eyes and was shaking his head. "Bella, I would never hurt you." He took a breath to calm his emotions.

"I don't know why Cullen is here, but I swear to you I am not going to stand by and watch him take away the fire in you again. You are so amazing. I am going to fight for you." He took my hand. "Bella, I want you to be my girlfriend."

This was breaking my heart. I couldn't let him go on like this. He meant so much to me. I didn't want to hurt him, not for anything. Why couldn't he just love me as a friend?

When I didn't respond right away he stood up straight and sighed, but he wouldn't let go of my hand. "Bella, I know you are confused right now, but just think of all he has put you through!" He got down on his knees right in front of me and whispered, "Just give me a chance. We are so good together." He kissed my hand, and looked up at me and grinned, "I make you happy, the only time you ever smile anymore is when you are with me."

I can't imagine any girl would be able to resist this. He was so good and kind. If I were any other girl, but I wasn't.

I held on tight to his hand and slowly looked up into his face.

"Jake, everything you just said is true, we are great together and you do make me happy. You were the only thing keeping me from falling apart all these months, but. . . ."

Jake sighed and dropped his head.

"Edward came back last night. We talked everything out and we are back together."

Jake dropped my hand and backed up, "You can't be serious Bella!"

He wandered around with his hands tangled in his hair. He walked back over to me and hissed, "He is a vampire, a damn bloodsucker!"

I stood up and hissed back, "Well, you are a werewolf!"

He was getting angry now, "There is a huge difference between the two of us Bella, _I _don't suck human blood, _I_ don't feed off humans!"

"Neither does Edward," I snapped back.

He was starting to shake again. "I don't believe that for a second! This whole thing about them being peaceful vampires is a lie! Can you honestly tell me he has _never_ fed off a human? Can you stand there and honestly tell me he doesn't thirst for _your_ blood?"

I paused just long enough for him to know that he had hit the truth.

He growled and took me by the shoulders, "Bella, please, please, I love you. Please don't tell me you are really with Edward now. There has got to be a chance for me. Someday you will regret being with him. He will hurt you. Bella, someday he will either kill you or make you a bloodsucker just like him!"

I looked into his eyes. I searched for understanding, knowing I would find none.

I started to say something when Jake put his finger to his mouth and said, "Shhh." Then he put his hands on both sides of my face and kissed me. His lips were very soft. He had been waiting so long for this. His kiss started out slow and sweet, bit it quickly became hard and insistent. He grabbed the back of my head to bring me closer to him. That's when I pulled away. He was breathing hard and I could see that he was not ready for the kiss to end. I had to put a stop to this. His warm lips held nothing for me.

"Jake," I whispered, "The reason Edward left is because he was afraid he would hurt me." I swallowed hard. "Jake, I am completely in love with him. I want him to change me. I wanted it before he left. I _want_ to be a vampire."

Jake jumped back from me like he had been shot. Ripples were charging up his arms. He was shaking his head at me refusing to believe what I had just said. "No!" he screamed. He came at me, and I was afraid for my safety. He grabbed me roughly by the arm and started pulling me to the house. I was tripping because of his fast pace but he didn't seem to notice. He was choking with sobs and shaking. When we got to the door, he yanked me inside and I fell to the floor.

I looked up and saw Sam, Paul, and Embry all staring down at me. Jake was trying to speak, but his voice kept breaking. Finally, he looked at Sam and choked out, "You were right, you were right." He leaned against a wall and bent over with his head in his hands. "I didn't want to believe you."

He knelt down in front of me. There was so much anguish in his face. He laid his hand on my cheek and he closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he swallowed hard and said, "Good-bye Bella." He stood up and stumbled down the hallway to a bedroom.

"Jake," I called out meekly.

As I watched the door close, I turned my head slowly and looked up at three very angry faces glaring down at me.

This could be bad, I thought. I backed up against the door and said, "You do remember my dad is the Chief of Police, you can't just keep me here."

Sam bent down and stared right into my face. He met me with a hot, melting stare. "You will leave Charlie out of this, or we will tell him that Cullen is a vampire."

I sucked in air and my eyes went wide. _No. . . anything but that._

Sam lifted up an eyebrow and his mouth went into a proud grin. He knew he had hit the mark.

Very calmly he said, "A lot of unnecessary heartbreak can be avoided tonight if you make an oath that you will never see your bloodsucking boyfriend again, and that you denounce your intentions to become one of them."

I shook my head and choked out, "No."

Paul made a sound to show how disgusted he was and folded his arms and turned away.

Sam's eyes were still melting into me when he said, "You might as well get comfortable Bella, it looks like you're going to be here with us for quite some time."

**Ooooooh you guys just wait until Edward finds out. . . . you are so busted!!! Tell me what you think!! Are you mad at how I portrayed Jake? Have a great weekend!!**


	7. Ramifications

**I want to thank everyone for their absloutely amazing reviews. I don't even know what to say. . . **

**Some of you thought that perhaps Sam acted out of character. My thoughts on it are that if he knew that Bella wanted to become a werewolf, he would try to stop it. "Eclipse" will probably prove me wrong, but doggone it, it makes the story better if he feels that way! Please tell me if you ever disagree - I love to have the discussion. **

**One more thing, I got this story all written out and then it occurred to me, Alice can't see werewolves . . That was ah, completely stupid of me to not remember that, but if possible, could you suspend belief about that tiny matter for this chapter? Thanks . . .**

**recap: Edward got to Bella's house and she was gone. Edward is about to find out what happened . . . . . . **

Edward's POV

When Bella wasn't in her room, I panicked. My first thoughts were that she had changed her mind. She had left with Black. She had chosen him; an animal over a monster. I stood there in her room wondering how I would be able to go on without her. I sat down on her bed and thought about the day we had spent together. Most of it right here on this bed. I looked down and saw my shirt, the one she had been holding when I came in her room last night. None of this seemed right. When I had dropped her off here, a few hours ago, she had kissed me and showed me so much love. I just couldn't believe that she could have been acting one way, and feeling another. That wasn't my Bella. Something must be wrong.

I began to act. If Black took her, he would have gone out the window. Jumping out into her yard, and tracing her scent, I found it was going into the forest. I felt my muscles tense and the venom saturate my mouth. _If Black took her against her will, I'll kill_ _him_, I thought.

After running about 3 miles, the trail abruptly changed and turned towards the road. I accelerated, thinking I was getting close to her, but once I got there, her scent was gone. _The filthy mutt_ _brought his car_, I raged. I checked my watch. It was 10:04. Her scent was strong enough that I knew she had been here within the last several minutes. There was only one set of footprints, which meant Black took her forcefully, or, I had a lump in my throat, she went with him willingly, riding on his back like she used to do with me.

"Where are you Bella?" I whispered. I wanted to head straight for LaPush, but there was one thing stopping me. There were five werewolves out there and I was all alone. Not very good odds.

I immediately began running back to my car, which was parked at the school. I pulled out my cell phone. I needed to talk to Alice.

It took entirely too long for her to answer her phone.

"Alice, Bella is missing. Do you see her?"

It was quiet on the other end for what seemed like an eternity. I was screeching out of the school parking lot when I heard her say, "She's with Jacob Black."

I closed my eyes, fighting off the inhuman rage and asked, "Alice, is she in danger?"

The damn silence again. I was almost back at the house now. I checked my watch. It was 10:13. As I skidded the car to a stop, Alice came running out with her cell phone still in her hand. Her eyes were wide and I began intensely following her thoughts.

I felt my lips curl up over my teeth. Black was telling Bella that he loved her. He reminded her that the only time she ever smiled anymore was with him. I closed my eyes and put my head in my hands. Everything in me was begging her to refuse him. I almost fell to my knees with relief when she told the animal that she was back with me.

But, Black was upset. He began yelling at Bella and telling her what a monster I was. He warned Bella that I would ultimately kill her or change her to a vampire. I felt a growl building in my chest and my teeth were clenched tight. Then, something happened that took me beyond all reason. Black had his filthy hands on Bella's face. _Don't do it,_ _Black_, I was thinking. _I'll kill you if you do_. . . he did it. He was kissing her.

I heard Alice gasp. My insides heaved as I watched him kiss Bella. _Pull away . . .Bella . . . please pull away,_ I was silently pleading. The growl that had been building, finally escaped. I was incensed. She was still kissing him! I was standing next to my car, and in a rage I ripped off the car door and hurled it at a tree next to the driveway shattering glass in all directions. I knew the noise would alarm Esme, and a second later I saw her come running out the door in a panic.

Alice grabbed my arm and said, "Edward." Her eyes were closed and she wanted me to see what was happening. I pulled away. I didn't want to see anymore. Bella was kissing that filthy animal, and had apparently lied to me about her feelings for him.

Then I heard Alice gasp again. I reluctantly drew into her mind and heard Bella say, "The reason Edward left me was because he was afraid he would hurt me. I am completely in love with him. I wanted him to change me. I want to be a vampire." Alice and I immediately exchanged panicked looks. _Oh no Bella_, I thought, _what did you just do?_ Bella was now in serious danger.

Black was enraged and was roughly dragging her into a house. I growled again. There were two more boys waiting inside, and I recognized their leader from the night before.

Alice grabbed my arm to calm me. She could see I was about to lose it. I was possessed by hate. They weren't going to let her go. The filthy dogs were going to keep Bella there. They threatened to tell Charlie about me if she tried anything. I could see the fear in Bella's face. Alice turned to Esme and said, "Get everybody out here. Now!"

Strangely, even though I was beyond all reason in my anger, I was also relieved. Bella didn't love Black. She really did love me. That truth would get me through what I now had to do. I would be involving my family in yet another battle, but this one would be far more dangerous than the one that killed Victoria. This battle also had the potential to bring huge ramifications to us, and many people in Forks.

Our secret would, in all likelihood, be revealed very soon.

Seven vampires battling five werewolves 15 minutes out of town, was bound to get some attention. Many on the reservation would learn our secret, and then the news would spread like wildfire.

Charlie was going to find out. He would go to extreme lengths to try and keep me and Bella apart.

How far was Black willing to go to take out his revenge on me? At the moment, he was beside himself with grief. That grief would soon turn to fury. Would he take out his fury on me, or Bella? Would he rather see her die than become a vampire?

I was worried about something else. How would I protect Bella? I was worried about fighting with her close by. Would my instincts take me over to the point that if I was close to her and smelled her scent. . . could I hurt her? It took everything I'd learned from decades of uncompromising discipline to keep Bella alive when I was calm and sane. Once I saw Black, I knew that my hatred for him would bring out the monster I tried so hard to hide.

Esme had explained the situation to Carlisle. The rest of the family was preparing to leave. Carlisle found me in the garage. I was taking the jeep since, needless to say, I would not be driving my car for awhile.

He came and put his hand on my shoulder, and I turned to see his concerned look. "Are you okay Edward?" he asked. In his mind I could read how much he loved me and how worried he was about me.

My shoulders sagged and I leaned back against the jeep. My thoughts came out in a rush. "What if something happens to Bella tonight . . .Carlisle, what if Bella dies?. . . I . . .I won't be able to handle it. I've been back here one day and already I put her in danger again. That animal Black, fell in love with Bella while I was gone. If I had been here, Bella never would have turned to him for comfort, and if I had stayed, she would constantly be in danger just like now." I went around to the back of the jeep to make sure everything was fastened down.

"Carlisle. . . I. . I really hurt Bella when I left. She is all I want. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to love her and stay with her and keep her safe. I leaned my forehead against the jeep. After tonight, there will be no way to keep all this from Charlie. I just got her back. I can't lose her . . . I just can't. I just want Bella. . . why can't I have her Carlisle?"

My chest was heaving in and out and my head was in my hands when I felt Carlisle's comforting arm around my shoulder pulling me to him. I heard him let out a heavy sigh.

"Edward, first of all, Bella being in danger tonight is not your doing, it's theirs. And secondly, I remember their great grandfathers were men of honor. If their traditions are still being passed down, they would never hurt Bella. You thought you were doing the right thing leaving Bella. It was the most courageous and unselfish thing you have ever done. I am in awe of the goodness in you." I looked at him and saw him swallow hard with emotion.

He pulled me closer to him and said, "Son, you and Bella will find a way to be together. It's right, and you love each other very much. I have been praying you would find someone. and now you have. Be patient, I know this will work out."

He pulled away and grinned, "Besides, I have an idea for a plan, and if it works, hardly anyone will have to know we were on the reservation tonight. Things may not end as badly as you think."

Carlisle told me his plan. It could work.

We had to get out of here. I had to get closer to see what was happening in the minds of those vile, filthy dogs. My family was gathered around now. Emmett, Carlisle, Jasper and I would be in the jeep. Esme, Alice, and Rosalie were in Emmett's truck.

It was 10: 40, and I wanted to be at the reservation by 11:00. The sooner we got there, the less time they would have to prepare. I thanked my family. This was asking a lot. Emmett was so excited for a chance at the werewolves he could hardly contain himself.

By the time we hit the main road I was going ninety, and quickly sped up to over a hundred. Once we were well on our way, I looked over at Carlisle sitting next to me. He was my father in all the ways that counted. He was my creator and mentor, and I needed to let him know my thoughts.

"Carlisle, I. . . really want to kill Black. If things go badly tonight, I don't think I will be able to stop myself. I hate him and I . . . want. . . revenge."

Carlisle stared at me for a moment and then said, "If anyone was trying to harm Esme . . . I would not hesitate to stop them."

His look was intense and dark. That was not usual for Carlisle. I understood perfectly what he was saying. I breathed in deep with a new confidence that what we were doing was right.

"Can't this thing go any faster?" Emmett yelled.

All I kept thinking was, _Just hold on._ _I'm coming Bella, I'm coming_.

**Can you say B-A-T-T-L-E? Go get her Edward!!!!! Tomorrow is the last (sniff) chapter, there is also an epilogue.**


	8. The Cliff

**ALERT!!!! - IF YOU HAVEN'T READ CH. 7 (RAMIFICATIONS) THAT I POSTED YESTERDAY, READ IT FIRST. IT'S FAIRLY SHORT. There weren't very many that read my story yesterday. Maybe Sunday isn't such a good day to post. Also, my computer was weird last night with Server problems and I was only able to respond to one review - that was Shining Star of Valinor ( she must be pretty cool to pull off a pen name like that)! So I just want to say to everyone who reviewed last night, thank you for reviewing - you are amazing!**

**(Bella's POV)**

I looked down at my watch and saw that it was close to 10:30. By now, Edward would know that I was gone. I shook my head. I was aware of Edward's issues with jealously and anger. I'm sure Alice knew by now, and I prayed that whatever Edward was planning, that he had not seen Jake kissing me. He would be furious.

I could hardly control my fear, not for me, but for Edward. He would come to save me, and he could be killed. That day in the meadow, Jake and the others had killed Laurent with hardly any effort. One on one, I was confident of Edward's abilities, but he could never fight them all by himself. If he went back for his family, there was a chance that one of them would be killed. What if something happened to Esme? Or Alice? I loved them all. I couldn't bear for any of them to be hurt. My angel just came back to me, I thought, I can't lose him now.

What about this whole treaty thing? I wasn't completely clear on all the specifics, but I knew if the Cullens came on this land that the treaty was broken. That meant that Sam could expose the Cullens and everyone would know they were vampires. I couldn't even imagine how horrible that would be.

I had been ordered to sit on the only couch in the room, with Paul and Embry standing guard. I was shivering. Before Jake came jumping through my window, I had just changed into my pajama bottoms and tank top, thinking I would soon be lying in bed next to Edward. Sam had thrown me a blanket, but I had refused it.

I wanted so badly to see Jake, but I didn't think at this point it would make much difference. Jake took things harder than I'd expected. Apparently, I still had a lot to learn about the whole werewolf and vampire hating each other thing. I should have never told Jake I wanted to be a vampire. That was really stupid. Jake loved me, and I had hurt him. I had no idea that his feelings for me were _that_ strong. My heart ached for him. I had lost my best friend.

I thought back to Romeo and Juliet. _Paris falls_ the play said. What if Edward killed Jacob tonight. I closed my eyes, trying to shut the thought out of my mind.

Sam had gone in the bedroom to talk to Jake. What could they be talking about, I wondered. I really needed to know what their plans were for me. Suddenly, I realized that with Sam out of the room, that this would be my only chance to get some information. I would never get anything out of Sam.

"Paul," I said, "Why does Sam want to keep me here?"

He looked hesitantly at Embry, wondering if he should talk to me. Embry shrugged his shoulders and made a gesture as if it was no big deal if he answered my question.

"We are trying to run the bloodsuckers out of town," Paul spat.

"What does keeping me here have to do with making the Cullens leave town?" I asked.

"Oh, you're not staying here, said Paul, "You are about to go on a long trip." Paul and Embry laughed like they were the only ones in on a funny joke.

My heart started to beat a little faster.

"Where am I going Paul?" I demanded.

Embry stared at me. He was no longer laughing. "All you need to know is that it is somewhere the Cullens will never find you."

I was finding it hard to breathe.

"Where am I going Paul?" I repeated.

The door to Jake's room opened and Sam came out alone. He walked down the hall and said, "Paul, I am going to check and make sure we are ready to go. Do _not_ answer any more of her questions." Sam walked outside and shut the door.

Sam never once looked at me. I looked at the clock. It was almost 11:00. I should be lying next to Edward in my bed right now. There was no way they could take me someplace where Edward would never find me . . . .was there?

A heard a car pull up outside. Sam was coming back to the front door and talking in an anxious voice. Then I heard him say, "Emily, you shouldn't be here. Just stay outside, and I'll get what ever it is you forgot. Stay out. . ." Then Emily was in the house. She was surprised to see me.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" It's so good to see you!"

Once she walked in, she could feel the tension in the room. She stopped and looked around. When I didn't answer right away, she looked back at Sam standing behind her and said, "Sam, what's going on?"

Sam was very nervous. He stole a look outside and closed the door. "Emily," he said, "You have to get out of here."

"Not until you tell me what you're up to, Sam," She demanded.

There was a line of perspiration on Sam's forehead. He was getting very angry. He started to say something when Emily said, "Look Sam, you want me to go, then quickly tell me what is going on. You are obviously trying to hide something from me. Now I realize why you wanted me gone tonight. You suggested I go to my mother's for a reason. You lied to me, tell me now, or I go nowhere."

Sam was very agitated. "I can't talk right now, Emily, they might be listening."

Emily stared at him with a look of complete bewilderment. Than in a stern voice she said, "In the bedroom now!" She began marching down the hallway.

Paul and Embry looked at each other and shook their heads. They knew that Sam was in for it.

They went into a different room than the one Jake was in. I could hear yelling. Sam kept trying to make her be quiet. All of the sudden, I heard Emily yell, "You plan to frame the Cullens for Bella's murder?"

I shot a look at Paul and Embry. They stared back at me and my eyes narrowed. Paul put up his hands and said, "Hey, we're not really going to kill you. We're just sending you far away, and then framing your bloodsucker boyfriend for the whole thing."

I made my voice sound as steady as possible. "Where are you taking me Paul?"

He pointed a finger at me and said, "Sam won't tell us because he doesn't want your vampire sweetheart reading our minds, and even if I knew I wouldn't tell you."

Emily came storming out of the room. She stared at me and said, "Bella I'm so sorry." She smiled a weak smile. The corners of her mouth pulled down in a grotesque way on one side of her face. She came across the room and put her hand out to me. "Come on Bella, I'm taking you home."

For a moment, I felt relief, and then Sam came and gripped her shoulders and said, "No Emily, she isn't going anywhere!"

Emily pushed his hands off and yelled, "The Cullens have never done anything to you! They are not like Victoria!" Her face softened and she put her hand on his cheek and said, "Sam, I am on your side. I love you with no conditions, you know that." She glanced over at me and said, "No one understands Bella better than I do. She loves him Sam. We are both willing to pay a price to be with the one we love."

Sam's head went down. He knew what Emily meant by paying a price. He touched the side of her face that was deformed and scarred. He brought her forehead over to touch his own. He was about to say something when the front door swung open. The moment between Sam and Emily had been so intense that we all jumped at the sound.

Jared came flying through the door as he yelled, "They're here! The damn bloodsuckers are in a jeep and a truck, and they are coming fast! Sam looked at Emily with a helpless, desperate expression. Then he yelled, "Paul, Embry and Jared, I want you outside and standing in front of this house." They were out in less than a second. They waited until they were out the door, and then they immediately changed into three very large werewolves.

Sam turned to look at Emily and terror was on his face. "They came sooner than I expected . . . Emily, I want you to go back in the bedroom and close the door and lock it. Then I want you to hide in the closet. Don't come out until I come for you!" He yanked her toward the bedroom and yelled, "Jake, It's time!" Emily took one look back at me, but she knew this was not the time for her to defy Sam.

Sam waited until he saw Jake come out of the room, before he bolted out the door and changed himself.

I was shaking from fear. I was so scared my teeth were chattering. I turned my head to see Jake take two steps down the hallway. He stopped and looked at me. His eyes were boring into my own. He never took his eyes off me. There was a large ripping sound and then he changed into a werewolf.

His eyes were not so different. They still carried the same hurt and anger as he walked down the hall while he continued to look at me. He came and stood next to the couch. Here he would have the advantage of being able to see the front door and the large window that was directly across the room from me.

It wasn't until he was in position that he finally turned his gaze from me. I shrank back from him. He was as big as a horse, but much more powerful. The muscles in his haunches flexed. I could hear a growl simmering deep in his throat. I saw the saliva build in his mouth as if he anticipated the taste. He put his weight on his powerful back feet as if he were ready to pounce, and he bit down so hard that I could hear the gnashing of his teeth. His russet fur was standing on end, as if every part of him was flexed and ready.

I was dizzy with fear. I could feel the nausea build in my stomach. Edward could never come here to this. I wanted to scream, but I was frozen.

For one terrifying minute there was silence. The only sound was from my pounding heart and Jake's panting beside me. Then I could hear the far away rumble of a motor. _Oh please Edward, go back_ _please!_ I silently begged. I looked out the large window and saw the glow of headlights coming from the road. The vehicle was moving very fast. It was Edward's jeep. I remember thinking that at this speed the jeep would never be able to stop before hitting the house. I tensed and curled my legs up underneath me.

The jeep screeched as it turned slightly towards the house and then accelerated. My eyes were wide. Jake crouched lower on his haunches, his muscles coiled ready to spring, and I saw his eyes narrow as the jeep careened towards the house. Then, just seconds before hitting the house the jeep slammed it's brakes.

A dark figure on top of the jeep came flying straight at the house. The front window came crashing in and I realized the dark figure was Edward.

He had tucked as he was flying through the window, his back to the house, but as he flew, he turned so that he landed in the middle of the room crouched and ready to fight. Edward's lips were curled high above his glistening, bared teeth. He snapped his teeth together and let a bloodcurdling, ferocious, feral snarl rip from his throat.

Jacob was instantly flying through the air. He was snarling and snapping so loudly that I had to cover my ears. Edward moved to the side and grabbed Jake as he flew by and slammed him into the wall. The wall crunched with the weight as Jake pushed off the wall with his feet and was immediately coming at Edward again.

Edward braced for the hit. As Jake came slamming into his chest, he grabbed Jake by the snout and turned, flipping him over his shoulder and slamming him into the wall behind him.

Jake was furious. He let out a high pitched snarl opening his jaw as wide as it could go and came at Edward again. This time he came low and cut off Edward at the legs. Edward went flying to the floor with Jake on top of him. I screamed as I saw Jake's razor sharp teeth inches from Edward's neck. Edward had a hold of his neck and was slowly pushing him back.

Jake had dug his claws into Edward's arms and was pinning him down, when Edward bent up his legs under Jake's middle and pushed off, launching Jake up to the ceiling with a crash. Jake came down on his feet and Edward was already running at him.

Edward crouched down and hit Jake squarely sending them both crashing through the kitchen table and into the stove. The stove went flying wildly to the side, and I saw Jake kick it as he struggled to right himself, sending the stove crashing into the opposite wall.

Edward was on him again and I heard a sickening snapping sound as Edward grabbed the kitchen table and slammed it into Jake's chest. For one moment Jake was pinned between the wall and the table. As Jake struggled for breath, Edward stole a glance at me. Then Jake was up again.

Jake was clearly injured, but more furious than ever. He bolted past Edward and headed for me. Once he reached me, he whirled around, putting himself in a protective stance between me and Edward. Jake was clearly sending the message that I was not leaving with Edward and that he would now be protecting me.

Edward crouched down low and let a low growl come from his throat. His eyes were dark with anger. He said in a low voice, "She doesn't love you Black, let her go." Jake snarled and drew back ready to pounce. Then Edward said, "She doesn't pull away when_ I_ kiss her."

Jake growled and launched himself at Edward. In a lightning fast motion, Edward grabbed him again by the snout and hurled him into a wall. The wall crushed under the force. Edward did not let go, but sent Jake's head smashing onto the floor with a sickening crunching thud.

Something in the hall caught my attention, my eyes grew wide. Flames were coming from the room Jake had been in. There must have been a small kerosene lamp burning in there, many of the homes out here had them. Edward and Jake had smashed in almost every wall in the main part of the house. The common wall between that room and this one was badly damaged. The lamp must have been knocked to the floor and started the fire. I let out a cry of alarm when I saw it and Edward turned his head. He looked at the fire and then at the hoses that were dangling out of the wall where the stove had been and came flying at me. He grabbed me and threw me on his back in one fluid motion and went screaming through the back door. Jake was still lying motionless on the floor.

It was a blur, but I could see the rest of the Cullens battling the werewolves in the forest next to the house. I saw Rosalie jump about 50 feet onto the back of Paul and send him flying. They had managed to keep the rest of the werewolves from interfering with Edward's rescue. As Edward was running, he yelled "I'm out!" He was far away, but I knew his family would hear it. They all started making their way towards the jeep and the truck. We were soon too far away for me to see anything in detail. I had just turned my head back to kiss Edward on the neck when I heard a terrible explosion. I looked back to see the house completely engulfed in flames.

"Emily!" I screamed.

Edward turned his head to me in a puzzled expression. My hand flew to my mouth and I felt tears on my cheeks. I could hear distant screams and growls. Edward stopped for a moment. In all the commotion, I couldn't see anything except Sam, who was illuminated by the fire, running into the flames.

Suddenly Edward stiffened and began to run. I looked back to see four werewolves running straight at us. Four werewolves, that meant Jake had made it out. I was ashamed at the relief I felt. Was I betraying Edward if I wanted Jake to be safe?

Edward had a good headstart, but I knew the werewolves were extremely fast. I saw Edward's teeth clenched as he accelerated more and more. Things were going by in an extreme blur, I could hear him grunting from the exertion as he ran. Then Edward stopped.

We were on the edge of a cliff. I recognized it as the one that I had seen Sam and the others jumping off that day. In the darkness, I could hear the faint sound of waves far below. Edward backed up about 10 paces; I could hear hoof beats and snarls coming swiftly behind us. I let out a small cry of fright as I stared out into the blackness. Edward breathed out, "Hold on as tight as you can. Don't let go and take a deep breath when I say." He didn't wait for me to respond, Edward began to run and then he jumped.

I could hear the frustrated growls behind us as we launched off the cliff. I couldn't help it, I screamed and then tucked my head in and waited to hit the water. It took forever. I couldn't imagine anyone jumping off this cliff for fun. They would have to be either crazy or desperate, I thought. The only sound was the wind swirling around us in the darkness. Then I heard Edward's urgent voice, "Now Bella!"

I sucked in all the air I could just as Edward dove under the water. The shock of the cold almost caused me to let go, but immediately I felt him start to pump his arms and legs to make distance between him and the shore. He was gliding under the water as gracefully as any fish. The speed was amazing. I could feel his muscles expand and contract with every stroke. My lungs began to burn and I was panicking for the need of air. Instantly, Edward was at the surface, and I drank the air greedily into my lungs.

Edward looked back to see if we were being followed. I remembered Jake telling me that vampires had the advantage in the water, because they don't have to breathe, but Edward did not have an advantage with me on his back. Edward listened intently for several minutes and then he relaxed. He took me off his back and brought me around to face him. His arms went tightly around me and he asked, "Are you all right?"

I answered back by wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him hard on the lips. When we finally parted, I couldn't clearly see his face, but I could tell he was smiling.

"Thank you for saving me," I whispered.

"It's only fair after you saved me," his velvet voice purred.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He breathed into my face and said, "You saved me the moment you told me you still loved me."

I kissed him again and Edward said, "Your lips are almost as cold as mine. I need to get you out of this water and get you warm."

He swam towards the shore in the opposite direction of Sam's house. We circled around to a cove that was hidden by trees that grew right to the shoreline. When we got out of the water, I could just make out Emmett's truck waiting in the trees.

Edward picked me up and carried me to the truck and gently laid me in his lap in the front seat. The heater was already on and a blanket was quickly wrapped around me by Rosalie. I turned back to smile at her and she smiled back.

Once we were on the road, through chattering teeth I said, "That's two nights in a row guys, thank you so much. But if it's all right with you, I would really like to not have any battles for awhile."

"Are you kidding?" Emmett wailed as he drove. "Life was really boring until you came along Bella!"

Alice and Rosalie sighed hard in the back seat as Emmett screeched onto the main road and we headed back to Forks.

**Okay, maybe it's just me, but I totally love how they jumped off the cliff together!!**

**DON'T FORGET THE EPILOGUE!!**


	9. Epilogue Tempting Fate

EPILOGUE - TEMPTING FATE

**First, I thirsted for your blood**

**Then, I was fascinated**

**Then, I was addicted**

**Now, I'm yours**

**Fate, are you listening? You can't have her.**

Edward brought me through the window into my room. It seemed like ages since I'd been here. Edward brought clean clothes with him. He hadn't planned on swimming in the ocean tonight, but he knew that after the battle he would need to change, and his plan now, was to never let me out of his sight.

Before I went into the bathroom to put on dry clothes, I walked around the side of my bed and took Edward's shirt off the floor and handed it to him. "You can have this back now." He smiled his crooked smile and I felt my heart skip a beat. He took off his wet shirt and put on the one I gave him, but not before I stole a peek at his perfect chest and abs. He saw me looking at him with a mischievous grin on my face as he pulled the shirt over his head and he went to grab me and kiss me. "Oh no, I whispered backing up, I'll get you all wet again."

I went into the bathroom to change. I stared in the mirror thinking about the night. Emily was dead. There was no way she could have survived that explosion, or the fire afterwards. She loved Sam so much, and it was plainly evident in Sam's eyes every time he looked at her, how he felt about her. Emily just wanted Sam. She didn't care about him being a werewolf. I stared in the mirror and asked myself, _can we really control who our heart chooses to love?_ I wasn't ready to ponder the glaring similarities between Emily and myself.

I felt a shiver go through me as I imagined what Sam, Jake, and the others were doing right now. I was afraid the trouble between the werewolves and the vampires was just beginning. All because of me.

I went back into my room and miracle of miracles, my angel was waiting for me. He opened his arms and I melted into him. I felt the shirt Edward was wearing and thought back to the day I had gotten it. We were walking by the lake. I had tripped and fallen and my ankle was throbbing and beginning to swell. I had a drink with me and Edward took the ice out of it and put it in his shirt, and laid it on my ankle. When he dropped me off at home. I was still using the ice and he told me to keep the shirt. It was just a normal day. I wanted more normal days with Edward.

My thoughts turned back to Emily.

I looked up at him and said, "Emily was in that house when it exploded. She was Sam's fiancee."

Edward stiffened. He knew that if Sam was angry before, now he would be far beyond that. He would want vengeance.

"Jacob also survived the blast, I saw him chasing us with the others." I said.

Edward nodded his head. "I searched out his mind after the explosion," His teeth clenched and then he relaxed and swallowed. "He is angrier than ever." He finally said.

I rested my head on his marble chest, "There will be a funeral for Emily, and I won't even be able to go. Charlie will probably get a call soon about the fire and I have no idea what they will tell him."

Edward held my head against him and sighed. "I don't think that Sam or the rest of them are very anxious to have _their_ secret revealed. We did break the treaty, but our secret is tied to theirs. Besides, they know that you would tell Charlie how they held you against your will if they tried anything. They won't say anything, at least not now."

We stood in silence thinking about how fragile everything around us had become. I broke the quiet by saying, "Emily loved Sam. She stayed with him even though she knew the danger. He loved her so much, and now she's gone." I looked up at him now. "If you change me, you will finally be able to keep me safe."

His face froze. There was a tortured look in his eyes and his shoulders sagged. He reached out and caressed my cheek. Then in an agonized whisper he said, "Now you understand why I left."

I started to say something, but he kissed me instead. He crushed me against his chest. His hands went to my face, as my arms wrapped tightly around his neck. He stopped a moment and his breath swirled in my face. My legs went weak, and then he was kissing me again.

He wrapped his fingers in my hair. His lips smashed against mine and it seemed to me that this was a kiss in which he was telling fate he had claimed me. That there was nothing left on this earth that could keep us apart. When he finally had to pull away, we were both breathing hard. "I'll take another one of those please," I mumbled. I was rewarded by another crooked smile.

He put his hands on each side of my face and said, "We are going to make it. I_ will_ have you by me forever." It seemed he was saying it to convince himself it would happen, as much as he was trying to convince me. Then he pulled away and went and turned on my cd player. My lullaby was playing.

"You brought back my music!" I squealed softly.

"Actually, he said, "It never left. It is childish, but I wanted you to have something of me so I put it all under your floorboards."

"You did?" I smiled happily.

He seemed pleased that it made me so happy. He walked towards me. My angel put out his hand and in his lovely musical voice said, "Dance with me." He brought me to him and then he put my feet on top of his as we began to sway slowly to the music. He hummed along in my ear, and I was in heaven.

No matter what happened to me in my life, with Edward beside me, I would handle it. I would choose him over anyone or anything. He was my life now, forever and always. I would spend the rest of the world's days loving him. One lifetime wouldn't be enough. Right now, I wished that he could read my mind, that he could really feel the depth and intensity of my love.

Tomorrow, there would be problems. Big problems. I knew that everything eventually pointed to the Cullens leaving Forks. When they left, I would go with them. I would leave my family and best friend behind, and I would never regret it. I had my miracle back, and this time, I would never let him go.

**I am always so sad when a story ends. Please, this is your last chance to tell me what you thought of my story. I can never thank you enough for reviewing. I will be posting another story in about a week after school ends. It's very different from this one. It's called "Beautiful Soul". I'll be looking for all of your stories too! Thanks again for reading. . . .**


	10. Precious

I was in Bella's bed laying on my back, staring up at the ceiling. I had two main goals now. Keep Bella safe until graduation, and keep her human.

I turned my head and watched Bella sleep. I wondered if she any idea how dangerous everything was around us right now. If I could, I would take her away from all this.

What would it be like to take her to a place where it was just the two of us? Someplace where it was warm and had the color brown. Where I could walk outside with her anytime I wanted and not have to worry about anyone seeing us. She would smile all the time. I would see the fire in her eyes again.

A private island would be perfect. There would be no curfews, no werewolves, no danger. Just me and Bella. I pictured us lying in a hammock. The sun would be shining down on us and we would decide to go for a swim in the clear blue-green water. She would hold on tight to me while I swam with her anywhere she wanted to go.

At twilight, I would carry her out of the water and lay her on the beach. I would hold her close to me and I would make love to her.

I reached down and softly kissed her shoulder. _Maybe someday Bella_.

I wanted it so much.

The phone rang and brought me back to reality. I heard Charlie stumble out of sleep and make his way down the stairs to the phone. It was Billy Black calling about the fire. Billy told Charlie that Emily was missing and Sam was badly burned. Charlie was dressed and gone in 5 minutes.

I was relieved Bella had not awaken. She hadn't been asleep very long. I pulled the blankets around her. I stared at the dark circles under her eyes. I would do everything in my power to take them away. I was amazed at how strong she had been the last two days. She still looked so breakable. She had so much spirit in her. Her life could be so beautiful. There were so many things she should get to experience. So many human things. I sighed hard. _Forget it Edward,_ I silently chided myself_. This is the kind of thinking that forced you to leave her once before, and look how great that turned out?_

I buried my nose in her hair and took in her scent just behind her ear. Everything was such a mess right now. At the moment, I was hoping the peace could just last until she graduated. She deserved to be planning a future filled with college and being on her own and discovering herself. Instead, she had spent the last several months running from a murderous vampire and getting closer and closer to a pack of werewolves. Instead, she had been mourning my absence. And now that I was back, she seemed completely preoccupied with losing her soul.

I would be devoting all my time to contacting universities and "convincing" them to let us apply late. Bella was going to college, I would see to it.

She shifted her position and her face snuggled right into my chest. I kissed her cheek and moved her hair off her face.

My thoughts turned to Black. I was about to crush in his worthless skull when Bella saw the fire. I found it hard to swallow. What would she have done if I had killed Black right in front of her? I knew that Bella loved me, but on some level she had strong feelings for him. She had a strong tie to Black that she was having difficulty breaking. It was a glaring understatement to say that I didn't like it. . . not one bit. They had a connection that tore me up inside.

I kept thinking of her lips on his. How Black had spoken about how good they were together and how he could make her smile when noone else could. My throat was tightening. I didn't want to share her with anybody.

Worthless, vile dogs. How was I going to keep the peace with a group of young volatile werewolves? I knew what I had to do. Today, I had to find a way to get Bella to my house. I wasn't leaving her alone, but I needed to talk to Carlisle. He had no idea how dire things had become. If Emily was dead, then Sam was very dangerous. If there was any chance of settling things down until Bella graduated, we had to take it.

I was still thinking through a plan when I heard Charlie's cruiser pull up. It was 10:00 in the morning. He had been out in LaPush for about 6 hours. It was now time to wake up Bella.

I moved a piece of her hair away and kissed her warm cheek.

"Mmmm." That was all I got.

I chuckled slightly as I put my mouth to her ear and said, "Charlie's home. He just go back from LaPush."

Bella's eyes flew open. She shot up in bed and moved the hair out her face. It was sticking out every which way. I loved watching her wake up in the morning. I had missed it so much these last months. I missed many things.

"What do I do?" she asked.

"Act surprised," I replied as I made my way to the closet.

I heard Charlie's heavy and weary footsteps as he climbed the stairs. He paused outside Bella's door and knocked softly.

"Come in Dad."

As Charlie walked in, I heard Bella say, "Hey Dad, what's up?"

"Bella," Charlie began slowly. "I have some bad news. . . there was a fire and Sam's house was completely destroyed and . . . Emily is dead."

I heard Bella's breath intake sharply. "Dad, are you sure?"

"We have been sifting through the rubble. After daylight, we found her body in what was left of the back bedroom." Charlie let out a big sigh. "From witness accounts, the house exploded. Billy thinks it was a gas leak."

Charlie's voice broke. "Sam is out of his mind. When I tried to talk to him he was pacing and muttering incoherent things about bloodsuckers and vengeance."

Bella choked back a sob and said, "Oh Dad, no."

"Funeral arrangements are set for Wednesday. You will miss school. We will be out in LaPush all day I imagine."

"Of course, Dad."

Every muscle in me tensed.

I heard Charlie shift on the bed. "It's just a shame. Sam and Emily were to be married in two months. That scar on her face that she got last summer, seemed to make Sam love her even more."

My insides twisted as I deduced how that scar came to be. I heard Bella pause. I don't think she ever wanted me to know that Sam had hurt Emily.

"Dad, is there anything I can do?"

Charlie's voice became serious. "Yes Bella, there is. You need to go and spend some time with Jacob. The whole time I was out there, he was in the trees next to the house just staring out at nothing."

I felt the venom rising like hot lava in my throat.

Charlie stood up. "We can be grateful for one thing, I guess. When Billy called about the fire, he told me that Sam was badly burned. He had run into the fire to save her. But by the time I got there, he seemed to be just fine. Thank heaven for small miracles, I guess."

"Yes," Bella said quietly.

Charlie was at the door now. "Listen Bella, I'm going to be at the station for awhile today. There is a lot of paperwork on all of this. This evening I would like us to go out and see Billy, Jake, and Sam."

All of the sudden the closet seemed very small.

I heard Bella say, "That's a good idea, Dad."

Charlie returned to the bed and gave Bella a hug and then he was gone.

I thought it best if I stayed in the closet a few extra moments to calm down.

It took a great deal of restraint to just open the closet door instead of ripping it off its hinges.

Bella had her head in her hands when I walked out.

"You're not going," I said flatly, stating the obvious.

"Edward. . . ." she was sniffing and wiping at her eyes.

I was sure I misunderstood the tone of her voice.

I sat on the bed and gently pulled her arms down so she could look at me.

"Bella, tell me you're not even considering this."

Silence.

I clenched my teeth and said, "Are you insane?"

Bella swallowed and said, "How do I get out of going with Charlie tonight, Edward?"

"We'll find a way," I said.

"This mess is all my fault," she whispered. "I need to make this right."

I stared at her incredulously. "No Bella, this is _my_ fault. If I had never left, you never would have gotten so close to him. He would have never felt the need to protect you,_ I_ would have been doing that."

"I need to go and see him, Edward." Her face was very determined.

"Why do you feel the need to go risk your life to comfort a _dog_." I said through clenched teeth.

Bella's face flinched, and then she softened. She brought her hands up to my face.

"Please just listen for a minute," she began. "This is so much more important than just an attempt to fix the treaty. Jacob is in _pain_. I can't _not_ try to help him. He was there for me when I was not so human myself. You don't know what it was like . . . "

I could feel my body go rigid. Bella had been avoiding talking about those barren empty months. It felt like I was swallowing hot coals. My hands were clenched into fists.

She continued, "If Jacob hadn't helped me. . . I'm not sure what you would have come home to. I have to try to make it better."

My eyes closed against the pain. I had sent Bella to someone else for the comfort and love that I so desperately wanted to come only from me. "I'll never forgive myself for leaving you," I whispered. "Not if I live a hundred thousand years."

Her hands were still on my face. Why couldn't I just take her away from all this? She kissed my neck and said, "I stand by you in everything. I am not doing this to betray you. I was scared out of my mind watching the two of you fight. I know Jake was trying to kill you. If I can stop him from ever coming after you again, I'll do it. He thinks he is protecting me from you. He thinks I am in danger. I am doing this to stop any more madness and fighting. I can't make myself believe that he knew Sam's plans. He would never try to hurt me."

"How did Emily get the scar, Bella? I asked flatly.

Bella's eyes widened. She went to open her mouth and say something, but then she turned her face away from me.

My instincts had been right. Forcefully I said, "Sam is more experienced as a werewolf than Black, but look what he did? Sam apparently loved Emily, but that didn't take away from what he _is_. There is not a chance in hell I'm letting you anywhere near Jacob. Besides, I can take care of myself."

Bella looked at me pleadingly. "Maybe if I go out there and tell Jake I am planning on school in the Fall, then perhaps he will calm down and all of this will just go away."

I took her hand and pulled her to me and said, "I don't know how to phrase this properly, but Bella, when I saw you in that house with those werewolves. I saw the fear in your face. I was so afraid I wouldn't get there in time . . . I came too close to losing you. I'm not going to tolerate anything dangerous. What we have . . . it is so precious. I need to make you understand . . . the way I feel about you . . . this is not going to happen for me again."

"They wouldn't do anything with Charlie right there next to me." Bella was getting desperate in her arguments.

"Bella, Sam is frantic, hopeless, and out of his mind. I know how I was when I thought I'd lost you. Trust me, he is capable of anything."

I watched Bella's eyes darting from side to side. She was trying to think of a way to get to Black. Once more, I cursed in silence at not being able to read her mind.

There was only one way she could get to LaPush. She could play the Charlie card. If she left with her father, I wouldn't be able to steal her and take off running right in front of him. I couldn't let her do this.

"No werewolves, Bella."

We stared into each other's eyes for one long moment.

"How about this," I said with as much restraint as I could manage. "Let's go talk to Carlisle. Perhaps he can talk to the elders and resolve things to the point that you will feel there is no need for you to talk to Jake."

"No matter what the elders decide, I still need to talk to him." she said.

Was I wrong to feel threatened and betrayed by her need to see him?

"Bella," my voice felt tight against all the tension of trying to make her understand. "Do you really have any idea how important you are to me?" I pulled her tight to me and breathed right into her face. "Any concept at all of how much I love you?"

She looked into my eyes. It was as if there was no one else in the entire universe but us. She said quietly, "Let's go see Carlisle."

Relief washed over me.

I grabbed her face and kissed her. She held on to my neck as she lay back on her pillow and pulled me down with her.

How I longed for that hammock, the sun, . . . . and the beach.


	11. The Plan

**Wow! I am blown away by your reviews. Thank you for not forgetting my story! I am grateful for the criticisms - they really made me think. There was one that I have to ask you all about . . .One person said that it is impossible for Edward and Bella to have s-e-x. It is not . . .is it? I always understood that the reason Edward didn't let things go too far was because 1. He didn't want to get out of control with the whole blood thing, and 2. That Bella was very breakable and he couldn't afford to ever lose control like that. Am I wrong? It is not impossible, just very dangerous . . . what do you guys say? It is very important to my story, so I have to get this right.**

**Oh my gosh, guess what? I just got tickets to go see Muse!!!! They will be here in September. I am frrrreakin!**

**(This chapter is Bella's POV)**

Edward and I walked up the steps to his house. I walked into a room with 6 other vampires, and we were about to have a discussion about keeping us safe from werewolves. Sometimes I had to shake my head at my life. We gathered again at the dining room table. Edward was beside me holding my hand.

Rosalie started in on Edward before we even sat down. "I don't recall the family ever having to gather for a meeting for me, what is this Edward, like the third meeting in a year?"

Edward let a growl come in his throat while he said, "If you don't want to be here Rosalie, then leave!"

Rosalie folded her arms and glared at Edward. "Some of us can't think of anybody but themselves."

Edward face twisted in a grimace. "Interesting observation Rosalie, I would like to tell you a story about a pot and a kettle!"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and raised her arms in exasperation. "Why are we even bothering with this. There are plenty of places we can go where there are no werewolves."

Edward tensed up and leaned across the table. "Our main objective is to keep Bella safe until graduation. She _will_ be graduating." He then sat down to emphasize that was the end of the argument.

Carlisle raised his hand to signify the meeting was beginning and softly said, "Edward, you say after graduation like it is a magic date that solves all our problems. I guarantee that these werewolves will be watching for any sign, no matter what the timeline, to see if Bella is changed."

Rosalie leaned forward on the table, "Exactly my point. Edward, if you change Bella, that boy will go to extreme lengths to kill you. We won't have any peace. We'll be battling werewolves every time we turn around."

Without turning her head, Rosalie pointed her finger at Emmett and hissed, "Not a word Emmett!" Emmett ducked his head and stifled a chuckle. Battling werewolves on a continuous basis would be Emmett's dream.

Esme looked at Carlisle and said, "The treaty only stipulates what happens here in Forks, does it not? Once Bella and Edward are away from here, the elders have no say as to what happens."

Carlisle turned to her and said, "The treaty states anyone living in Forks. Even if Bella leaves, they would still consider her a resident of Forks no matter where she goes."

Jasper leaned in and said, "Would they really follow Bella around indefinitely to check whether or not she has become a vampire?"

Carlisle shook his head. "I don't know what they are planning. I am assuming that after last night, they are capable of more than we think."

I decided now was the time to speak. "I can solve a lot of problems if I go and talk to them myself."

It went silent, and all eyes at the table were on me. . . except Edward's. His grip tightened on my hand.

Jasper's eyes widened. "Didn't we just save you from them last night?"

"If I went with Charlie, I am sure that. . "

"It is absolutely out of the question," Edward interrupted me.

"Look," I said, "I am the idiot who told Jake that I wanted Edward to change me into a vampire. That brilliant statement put all of you in danger."

I looked around at all of them. "I want to thank all of you for saving me. I love you all so much, and I refuse to put any of you in danger again because I happened to become friends with a werewolf."

"Are you sure you're just friends?" asked Emmett.

Everyone's eyes shot to Emmett. Edward bore into him with a dark stare.

Emmett raised his hands in defense. "Hey! I'm just saying, that in my experience, I've never seen a werewolf care as much, or be as tenacious as Black to make sure you stay human." He then looked at me and said, "And you seem pretty anxious to see him again."

Edward dropped my hand and began rubbing his temples with his fingers.

"Listen," I said forcefully. "Jake and I were nothing more than close friends. He is very hurt by my choice. He thought he was protecting me. I believe that if I talked to Jake, the situation would improve. Also, my father is pressuring me to see him." I took a deep breath and continued. "He wants me to go to LaPush with him tonight. He is also expecting me to go to the funeral."

Carlisle's brow knitted in concern. "Is there any way you can convince your father otherwise?" he asked.

I bit my lip nervously and said, "Emily and I were very close. I was out there almost every day until. . . ." I looked at Edward. He did not know how much time I had actually spent with Jake before his return. His head was down and he was swallowing hard.

There was an awkward silence in the room. Carlisle cleared his throat and said, "Part of the treaty specifies that a meeting can be called at any time between the leader of each party without fear of retaliation. I was planning on setting that meeting for today."

"Who is their leader?" asked Esme.

"Sam Uley is their leader," Edward said in a weary voice. "And I can tell you he will not meet with you. I am sure he is set on vengeance. We feared that someone was in the house last night when it exploded, and our fears were confirmed this morning. A young woman's body was found. Her name was Emily and she was Sam's fiancee."

Emmett blew out a whistle and sat back on his seat.

"Carlisle, please don't go. It is far too dangerous," Esme put her hand on his as she spoke.

"Maybe I could look ahead and see if Bella would be safe," Alice offered.

Edward shot her a look and hissed, "No!"

I raised my hand a bit to get everyone's attention. "Again, I have to say that the best idea is for me to talk to Jake. I do not believe that last night was his idea. I am positive it was all Sam's doing. Emmett, you spoke of Jake being tenacious to keep me human, I believe that Sam is actually the one that is pulling the strings. He has a great hold on the actions of the entire pack. They _must_ do what he says. It is not in Jake's nature to do what happened last night."

Edward turned to look at me. In an even voice he clenched his teeth and said, "If Sam is controlling Jake's actions, that is just one more reason to not let you anywhere near him."

Carlisle nodded his head. "I have witnessed the mind control of the pack and their ability to communicate with each other telepathically. It is almost impossible to refuse an order brought by the head of the pack. Even if harming Bella was not Jake's intention, if Sam ordered him to do it, he may have no choice but to obey."

Jasper leaned to look at Carlisle, "You are familiar with the elders of this pack, are you not? How strong is their hold on what happens in the pack."

Carlisle let out a sigh and said, "I do not know how influential they are. I know two of the elders; Harry Clearwater, and Billy Black."

"Black huh, does that means Billy is Jacob's father?" Emmett asked.

"Yes, he is Jacob's father," Carlisle replied. Emmett smiled as if the story just got more interesting to him.

Esme grabbed Carlisle's hand again. "Do you think the elders would be more reasonable to talk to? Would you still be in danger?"

Carlisle looked at Esme lovingly and said, "From what I remember, they are men of honor. They were not elders when I knew them, they were very young when I last spoke to them, but they were not the kind to stir up conflict unless provoked."

Edward turned to Carlisle. There was hope in his voice. "Could you set up a meeting with them today?"

Carlisle nodded, "Absolutely. I will go now if there is nothing left to discuss." He looked around the room and when everyone shook their heads he turned to leave. Esme followed him.

I'd had enough. It didn't really matter what had been said at this table. I knew what had to be done. I just couldn't believe that it would seriously take a treaty meeting to solve this problem. I knew that Jake would never hurt me. He had just been shocked at what I'd said last night, and that I was back with Edward. I'm not sure which one hurt him more.

My main objective was to make sure that Edward and Jake were never anywhere near each other ever again. I was the one that had to make this right. If Jake tried to fight with Edward again, I knew that Edward would kill him. I could never go the rest of my life knowing I could have stopped it. As always, Edward's mind was made up. I would play this right, be extremely careful of my thoughts around Alice, and find a way to get to Jake.

I was amazed at one point though, how was it possible that my father's two best friends were also elders of a werewolf pack that would like nothing better than to kill Edward and his family? Once again, I had to shake my head at my luck.

I was with Edward in his room. He was being extremely quiet. He had his back to me thumbing through some CDs when the phone rang. It was Charlie. He wanted to let me know that he had spoken to Billy and that Jake was sleeping. Billy said that he was exhausted from all that had happened, and just wanted to rest.

I felt a lump in my throat. Jake was going through a tough time. He had been there for me, and now I couldn't be there for him. "We'll plan on seeing them on Wednesday," Charlie said. "Sure thing," I answered.

I paused. Here was my chance to find out for myself what was going on with head of the werewolf pack. "Dad, how is Sam doing?" I asked. Charlie let out a sigh and said, "Maybe as well as could be expected, but not good. He is refusing to see anyone and he won't talk to Billy. I don't even know where he is staying. As far as I know, he is still hasn't left the place where it happened. Harry offered to give him a ride into town, but he just said he's not leaving Emily." I felt a shudder run through me. Sam was not handling this well at all. I looked at Edward, and he was staring straight ahead with an intense look in his eye.

With everything going on, Charlie didn't seem to have much time to dwell on the fact that Edward was back. Although, he did say he wanted me home in an hour.

When I got off the phone, Edward was sitting on the couch holding out his arms to me. I knew I would never take for granted being able to be in his arms again. He was so relieved that at least for tonight, there was no chance of me going to LaPush. We were both silent for a time but I knew that very serious issues were running through his mind.

"Bella," he finally began, but his voice was not as velvet as I would have liked.

"Mmmm Hmmm," I murmured into his neck.

He swallowed hard and I could tell he was having a hard time.

I rubbed his marble chest and said, "Go ahead, Edward. You know you can talk to me about anything."

He took a deep breath and said, "If I hadn't come back, would you have fallen in love with Black?"

My eyes shot open. When I didn't answer right away, all the air escaped out of his lungs and his hold on me relaxed.

I moved up to look in his eyes. They were dark pools that were staring at me warily.

I put my hand on his face and said, "Honestly?"

His lips were in a hard line and he wasn't breathing when he said, "Yes please."

I never intended on telling Edward what it was like for me when he was gone. I didn't blame him for the fact that I went completely mental when he left me. I just wanted it all behind us. But, if I explained to Edward just how much Jake had helped me, then maybe he would soften as to why I needed to see him.

I moved so I could look at him more clearly and said, "The first time I went to see Jake, was because I wanted him to help me rebuild the motorcycle and teach me to ride it." (I had filled Edward in on my daredevil escapades.) "I had no intention of anything happening. It was a harmless place for my heart to rest from all the . . . suffering. He was funny, and was game for anything I wanted to do. Things with him were light and easy. As time went on, I began to realize how Jacob's feelings for me were changing. I refused his advances many times, but I continued to send him mixed signals. He was my comfort. My safe harbor. He would occasionally put his arms around me and I didn't stop him, and we held hands a lot."

Edward's jaw tightened.

Right before you came back, things were becoming more . . . intense." I shook my head. "I was trying to decide if I could betray my aching heart to save my pathetic life. He kept the whole in me from growing. Everyday you were . . ." I didn't want tears right now, but I could feel them in the corners of my eyes. "Everyday you were gone was torture to me, and he knew that. Despite the fact that I was damaged and broken, he still wanted me. He was starting to be more insistent, and I was trying to figure out if I could take half of a life with Paris, if his love was strong enough for us both."

"Paris?" Edward whispered.

I nodded my head, "I remembered wishing Jacob was my brother, I wanted to stake a claim to him, but I was wondering if I could be with him. Even if the love I felt for him was no more than a weak echo of what I was capable of . . . what I felt for you." I looked up at him then. "If my heart was far away, wandering and grieving after my Romeo, I wondered if I could pick up the broken pieces with Paris."

I wiped the tears away and said, "Edward, he had become essential to my survival. But, I was selfish. I was cruel. He kept me from sinking under, but it was at the cost of his own heart." I turned to him as the tears came down again and whispered, "I have to fix this."

Edward's face showed pain. He looked like he would break from the hurt in his face. "Last night, I heard him say you were good together and that he made you happy."

I shook my head and softly ran my lips over his. I saw his eyes close.

"Edward, it is you I love, it is you I have always loved. Please, it hurts me to have you think this way. I am not in love with Jacob. I was never in love with Jacob. You have changed me and your hold on me is unbreakable. I could never love him the way I love you. Never."

He started to say something, but instead I kissed him. We ended up lying on the couch. On an impulse, my tongue reached out and ran across his lips. I heard him moan and whisper my name, then he was kissing me hard and his passion was taking my breath away. We fell to the floor and he grabbed my hands and held them in his own above my head. Every kiss left heat once his lips moved on. He was kissing my neck, my collarbone and then moving down farther.

All of the sudden, he pulled away and stood up. He backed away and his hands were entwined in his hair. He turned away from me for a moment and it sounded like he was rebuking himself for not keeping to the rules.

I lay there looking up at him trying to catch my breath. I was scared to realize how much I wished he hadn't stopped. After a moment, he turned back to me as his long perfect hands slowly came down and reached out to me. He brought me close to him and put his forehead on mine. His voice was thick as he said, "I think I better take you home."

As we rode to my house in Emmett's truck, (his car was still ten days from having a new door), he reached out and grabbed my hand and said, "I'm sorry I asked you that question about Black."

"Don't be sorry," I said as I kissed the back of his hand. "I will always choose you. I'll stand by you through anything."

He looked at me then. His lovely eyes had a brightness to them and he squeezed my hand as he smiled at me. Then the brightness faded and he said, "I am even more sorry for letting things get out of control physically between us. That was really stupid of me." He had so much self-loathing in his voice.

"Edward, I am not making it any easier for you. You are trying so hard and I keep pushing you. At that particular moment, I am not really thinking about how you are attracted to my blood."

Edward stared straight forward and said quietly, "That's what scaring me. Your blood used to be enough to keep me in check, but ever since I came back, it is like 80 your body that drives me crazy, and only 20 your blood. I don't know how to handle it."

I squeezed his hand and said, "Apparently, I don't know how to handle it either."

Edward's look was troubled and seemed very far away.

Charlie's cruiser was in the driveway. I looked at him and asked, "What's scarier, fighting a pack of werewolves, or facing Charlie again?"

He smiled and winked at me then came around to get my door. Once again, I was thankful for Charlie's distraction. He could've been nicer to Edward, but he could have been meaner too. The problem was, that Edward also caught everything that Charlie wasn't saying.

Charlie had just got back from LaPush and he was beat. He was heading off to bed. Edward said good-bye, and I ran into the kitchen to eat something before going upstairs. I still couldn't believe that my miracle was waiting for me in my room.

When I got there, Edward was sitting on my bed. He was just closing his cell phone. His brow was furrowed. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"That was Carlisle on the phone. He went to try and talk to the elders, but they refused to meet with him. They said it was too soon after the tragedy and that they would have to talk with Sam before they discussed anything with him. They set up a meeting for seven days from today." Edward ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

I tried to play like I had no strategy of my own. "Well, seven days isn't that long."

Edward looked at me suspiciously and said, "Every day that we go without a resolution, is another day that I am worried for your safety."

I reached down and put my arms around his neck and said, "I told you that Jake would never hurt me. Besides, that just means more time for you to stick very close to my side." I put my forehead to his and murmured, "Very close."

Edward stiffened a bit and said, "I need you to stick to the rules, okay Bella? Please be good."

I knelt down and smiled reassuringly as I said, "Okay."

Edward held me and hummed my lullaby as I began to fall asleep. It was beyond my dream to know that Edward and Alice would be at school with me tomorrow. I was reveling in the fact that I had two nights in a row with no nightmares. How could I have the horrifying images now that I was sleeping next to my angel again?

Edward stopped humming and my eyes opened. He looked deep into my eyes as his velvet voice whispered, "I am understanding a little bit more why you feel you need to talk to Black. Nevertheless, I hope you understand why I can't allow you to go to the funeral. Trust me Bella, it is too dangerous. Let's wait until our plans are more set, when we know where we'll be going to school, then me and my family will find a way for you to get a message to him."

I smiled and nodded my head. I was afraid to say anything in case my voice gave away my secret. I would be at Emily's funeral. I would talk to Jake. Now that Edward was being more reasonable, I felt a little guilty, but nothing would stop me from this, not even Edward.

For the next two days, It took almost all my concentration just to keep my mind off seeing Jake. I did not want Alice giving Edward any cause to get suspicious. It was hard, because I also had to get clear in my mind what I would say when I saw Jake again.

The night before the funeral, Edward went over the plan that he had devised for me to get out of going to LaPush. It wasn't very complicated. I was to wake up in pain and run to the bathroom and put on an Oscar worthy performance of the stomach flu. As soon as Charlie left, Edward would come back to the house. I had a harder time than usual falling asleep. I laid there rehearsing what I would say to Jake, and how I would actually get out of the house without Edward stopping me. I gulped. Edward would be furious. But, if I ensured that Edward and his family would be safe, and that Jake would never be killed by Edward, I had to take the chance. Tomorrow, I would put my own plan into action.

The next morning, Edward woke me up and said it was time to start the show. He was borrowing Carlisle's car for the day, he would go the hospital and pick it up and wait until it was time to come back. I played along trying very hard to keep my mind on being sick. Everything hinged on keeping Alice out of the loop. My heart was racing. I didn't have to pretend as much as I thought I would. My stomach was full of butterflies and my nerves were so on edge that I actually did feel like I was going to be sick.

When Charlie was about two minutes from leaving, I began to act. To Edward, two minutes was nothing. I had already put my clothes on while giving my best gagging impression from the bathroom. I immediately began brushing my hair and my teeth. My hands were shaking as I finished getting ready. I heard Charlie fumbling with his keys and I flew down the stairs.

Charlie raised his eyebrows and said, "I thought you were sick?"

"Hey Dad!" I said breathlessly, "I started to feel a lot better, it must have been something I ate. I'm glad I caught you." I ran past him and jumped in the cruiser. My heart was beating clear in my ears. I never expected to get this far. I thought for sure Edward would have been waiting for me right here in the driveway.

Charlie was staring after me with a puzzled expression as I looked impatiently at him through the windshield. I watched him lock the door to the house and start his way over. "Holy crow!" I thought. "Would you hurry up?"

I let out a sigh of relief as the engine started and Charlie began backing out of the driveway. Charlie looked over at me and said, "Are you sure you're okay? Your face looks a little flushed."

I put my hand up to my face and could feel that I had a layer of sweat and I was hot." I let out a sigh and said, "I suppose I am a little anxious for today."

He nodded like he understood perfectly and began to turn the corner. That's when I froze. Carlisle's black Mercedes came screeching around the corner ahead of us. At that moment, someone called Charlie on the radio and he reached down to turn on the switches so he could answer.

Our cars passed and Edward's window was down just enough that I could see his eyes. He was frantic and his eyes had a mix of hurt and fury. He slammed on the brakes and whirled around to follow us. _Please understand Edward,_ _Please,_ I thought. I could see him begin a string of profanities as Charlie glanced out the back window.

"Isn't that Dr. Cullen's car?" he asked. I played dumb and shrugged my shoulders. Edward immediately pulled to the side of the road and stopped. The last thing I saw was his fists repeatedly beating the steering wheel.

**Please don't forget to answer my question that I asked at the top - it really is important to my story**

**As always, I really do appreciate criticisms**


	12. My Jake

AND THE WINNER OF THE LONGEST INTRO BEFORE A STORY GOES TO . . .EDWARDSOUL . . "Thank you! I want to tell the other nominees . . . blah blah blah."

WOW - I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE REPSONSES TO MY QUESTION!! IF ANY OF YOU HAVE A SPARE 5 MINUTES, GO ON THE REVIEWS PAGE AND READ ALL THE REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER 11. TWO THINGS WILL HAPPEN: YOU WILL BE HIGHLY ENTERTAINED, AND YOU WILL LEARN EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT ExB HAVING S-E-X!! I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU FOR HELPING ME. MAN, SOME OF YOU RESEARCHED IT AND WROTE LITTLE REPORTS!! THERE ARE FOUR THAT I JUST HAVE TO THANK: OCHER ME, DELIRIOUSLY WITHDRAWN, JUST A DREAMER 1980, AND LOVIN TOPAZ EYES 91. YOU GUYS WERE EXTRA AWESOME! THIS IS THE CONCLUSION: YES! THEY CAN HAVE SEX! BUT, ALL BODILY FLUID IN EDWARD HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH VENOM (YES, ALL FLUID) THEREFORE, THE VENOM WOULD REACH HER UTERUS, THEN HER BLOODSTREAM, THEN SHE WOULD BECOME A VAMPIRE. ALSO, JUST LIKE I THOUGHT, EDWARD COULD LOSE SELF-CONTROL AND HURT HER BADLY, AND/OR BITE HER. MOST OF YOU THOUGHT THAT TOO. THANK YOU!! VERY MUCH!!

**caps lock was bugging me. I have something else to say. For anyone who is afraid to finish this story because they think that this is going to become all about ExB having sex, please don't think that. I am staying true to Stephenie's characters, and I know she is a Mormon, and I just don't think she plans on them ever having sex, at least until they are married. She said herself, "ExB are innocent and sex would change them in the wrong ways." This is probably a spoiler, for my story - sorry. It is important to my story because they are extremely hot for each other, and issues will arise, But I have standards too, and I won't change them even when writing a story. I know in half the stories on here Bella's pregnant or has a child by Edward. But, there will be plenty of heat, and romance - trust me.**

**One more thing - did any of you do anything special for June 2nd? (If you don't know why June 2nd is important, then you are not a true Twilight fan!) Anyway, I went to bed on June 1st thinking of Edward (as usual) and at 2:00 a.m. I awoke totally out of the blue. I wasn't even tired, so I got a blanket and wrapped up in it and read "Confessions" I kept thinking how 4 years ago that night Stephenie had that miraculous dream and now here I was exactly four years later reading it. I wish that I could have that dream, I just want to see Edward so badly . . . . Did any of you do anything special? **

**Okay, I am wasting your time . . This is from Bella's POV - Recap: Bella sneaked to to the funeral and Edward was furious!**

When we got on the highway, Charlie let me know that we were going to stop and pick up Jake and Billy.

"Great," I managed to get out. I thought maybe I really would be sick.

The closer we got to LaPush, the more I doubted my decision. The last time I saw Jake, he was beyond upset with me, and he was trying to kill Edward. What could I possibly say that would make this go away?

We pulled up and Charlie said, "Do you mind sitting in the back seat with Jake? It's easier for Billy to get in the front." My mouth wouldn't work, so I just smiled and nodded.

All too soon, I saw the three come out of the house. Jake had his Levi's on, but he was also wearing a dress shirt and tie. He looked very handsome. Jake got in the car and sat stone faced, his eyes glued to the front windshield. I saw his nose wrinkle. I then remembered that Edward's scent was all over me. _Brilliant._ _That is really going to help things_, I thought.

The chapel parking lot was already filling, even though we were about 45 minutes early. When I got out, Charlie came around and helped Billy shift his feet out of the car door. That's when Billy turned to look at me. His dark eyes held me in an intense stare that told me I was no longer welcome here. He was holding me in his gaze until Charlie came from the trunk with his wheelchair, then he turned away. I gasped for air. I didn't realize that I had been holding my breath.

Charlie began to push Billy, and I did my best to keep Jake back so I could talk to him.

When we were about 10 paces back, I said, "Jake, I am so sorry about Emily."

Jake looked at me out of the corner of his eye and made a sound to show how disgusted he was. He began to walk faster and I grabbed his arm. He pulled away from me and started walking in the direction away from the church. I followed him.

"What the hell, Bella! I can't believe you actually came here. Just get in the damn chapel. I'm sure Sam will be very happy to see you," he said sarcastically.

"Jake, I came out here to honor Emily, I loved her very much. But, I also came here to talk to you."

Jake whirled around and glared at me. "You coming here doesn't change anything. I can't believe that bloodsucker Cullen let you come here."

"Well, he is actually pretty angry about it," I said nervously.

"Finally something he and I can agree on!" He yelled. "You made your choice, so just go back to your leech boyfriend and enjoy your life as one of the walking damned!"

"Why do I have to make a choice, Jake?" I asked in a hurtful tone.

"Are you seriously asking me that question?" He looked at me with a twisted face.

"Jake, you were my best friend, you mean so much to me, I just can't believe that things are as impossible as you make them seem."

"Perhaps you weren't paying attention a few nights ago when your bloodsucker and I were trying to kill each other!"

"Sam was holding me there against my will!" I shouted. "You had to know Edward would come after me. Edward thought I was in danger, but. . . " I continued in a softer voice. "But, was I in danger Jake? Would you have hurt me? You basically left me there to take care of myself with Sam. He is much more dangerous than I ever thought he could be. How could you leave me there? Would you have let Sam take me away?" I stared at him expectantly.

He was staring out with his arms folded. He looked so powerful standing there. "I'm sorry. I never thought I'd act that way toward you. When you said you were with Edward I. . . "

Jake's shoulders slumped and he turned his head and stared at me. "I fought Sam all the way on his plan, but it is very difficult to go against him." His face went hard as he pointed at me and said, "I defended you. I told them you would never become a vampire." He blew out air and turned his head away from my gaze then he whispered, "I . . I had my own plan if Sam sent you away. . . I would find you and be with you. He looked back at me and brushed a stray hair off my face and swallowed hard. "I would take care of you."

He closed his eyes as if to break the spell. He moved away from me and said, "He never did tell me where he planned to send you, but I suspected it was his uncle's house in New Mexico. There is a reservation there with others that are . . . like us."

"Jake, I . . ." I was so choked up by what he said that I found it hard to speak. I cleared my throat and began again. "Jake, I am not planning on any big changes in my life anytime soon, if you know what I mean. Never, if Edward gets his way." Edward and I still hadn't really discussed the timetable for my changing, but, I thought it best to be purposely vague right now. "I am going to school in the Fall, and I have big plans for my life."

Jake just stared at me suspiciously, but he finally managed to nod his head and say, "That's good to hear."

I had a question that I very much needed to ask him, probably the most important question I could ask, but I couldn't make myself do it yet, even though it was Jake, I was afraid of the answer. I stared at him wondering if he really was the Jake I knew; if I was right to put my faith in him. Was he the same boy that had laughed with me and helped me and taken care of me, or were the other darker, more ominous forces changing him?

I chickened out. Maybe I would ask the question later. I didn't know how long I had with Jake, I had to find out what trouble there was for Edward concerning Sam.

"Jake, Carlisle tried to meet with your dad and Harry, and they refused. They said that they had to talk to Sam first. Is he planning another way to get at me? Am I still in danger?"

Jake shook his head and blew out air. "Bella, Sam is in a bad place right now. Normally, I would be forbidden from talking to you, but right now he is so out of it, he isn't paying any attention to me." He looked frustrated as he said, "I wish I knew what was going through his head, but he hasn't talked to any of the pack. I am positive he wants vengeance for Emily's death, that's all he said over and over the night she died. My guess is that, yes, he will try something at some point."

"None of this would have happened if Sam hadn't held me there. He is the one responsible for all this! I yelled breathlessly.

Jake's face was hard. "He doesn't see it that way."

I looked panicked. "Will he try to get back at me, or Edward?"

Jake winced when I said Edward's name. He stared down at me and said, "Honestly, I don't know. But, if I had to guess, I would say your boyfriend is who he'll go after first."

"Jake, you have to stop him! You have to warn me when you find out his plans! Please!" I was holding his arm again.

He didn't try to break free, but he looked at me with a bleak stare as he shook his head. "I can't betray them, and besides, there is no way he'll allow me to do it." He swallowed hard again. "I am pretty sure that this is the last time I'll ever be able to talk to you."

I was crying now. "Jake no!" I had my hands on his chest now. "Fight him Jake! Get away from him, from all of this!"

He just shook his head slowly, "You of all people should know that you can't run away from what you are. There is no place I can go that Sam won't find me. They are my family."

I covered my face with my hands and began to sob. "Jake," I choked out, "I don't want to lose you."

"Bells," he said sadly, "It's better this way. If you are with Edward, things can never be the way they were between us, you know that. And anyway, If you can't ever love me, I couldn't keep seeing you like this. It makes it so much harder for me when I think about you too much. A clean break is the only way I can do this." A clean break, man how I hated those words.

I took a deep breath. I had to face the cold hard truth. Even though I planned on coming out here to try to keep a tie to Jake somehow, deep down I did know that I was coming out here to tell Jake good-bye. I couldn't tear Edward apart anymore with my affection for Jake, and it was ridiculous to think that I could be with Edward and stay close to Jake. Deep down, I also knew Jake deserved better than this. I just didn't want to let him go.

"Jake, I guess what you're saying is probably true." The tears were just streaming down my face. "Just let me say this, and then we can go inside. I promise I won't bother you anymore." I took a deep breath and wiped my face. "The other night when you told me how you really felt, I know I hurt you with what I said. Even though you are younger than me, in so many ways you were the mature one. You are beautiful Jake. You must have half the girls out here secretly in love with you." He rolled his eyes when I said that. "Jake, I was selfish. I was trying to keep you for myself while all along I was broken and my heart was still with Edward."

I took a step toward him and said, "You took care of me and you were right, you made me laugh when no one else could. You saved me in all the ways that a person can be saved and you'll never really understand how much you mean to me."

I closed the distance between us then and wrapped my arms around him and held on as tightly as I could. The tears came again. Jake's arms were floating up in the air like he didn't know what to do with them, then he wrapped them tight around me and put his lips into my hair.

"This hurts like hell," I sobbed. I buried my face in his warm chest and attempted to remember everything about him.

I felt him lay his cheek on my head and whisper, "Bella." Then he pulled me away from him and said, "Let's go."

As we started to walk, he began to reach for my hand and then pulled back. "Sorry, old habits die hard," he said.

We got in the church. My tear-stained face fit in with everyone else in the room. The service was beautiful. I learned things about Emily that I didn't know, and heard many people tell of her kindness. She had become like a big sister to me. I was going to miss her so much.

Sam was, as Jake said, in a bad place. He never spoke to anyone. He didn't even seem to notice that I was there. But, I still did my best to avoid him. He sat there staring out into nothing for much of the service, and occasionally I saw him bow his head and weep. Jake was sitting on the other side of Billy. I looked over once, and saw him staring at me. I gave him a sad smile and turned away. I still hadn't asked him the question.

At the cemetery, Sam kissed Emily's coffin and laid his face against it. He stayed there for a long time. Just like when I would see Emily and him together when she was alive, I felt like I was intruding on something intense and private and I had to turn away.

How would I be if this were Edward's funeral? The thought made me cringe to think I could endure such pain. I wanted Edward forever; anything less would be unthinkable. What if Sam took all his grief out on Edward? Even though I pitied Sam in his grief, I also knew that I was just a few feet away from my mortal enemy. Given the chance, Sam would take everything away from me.

Everyone gathered at the home of Emily's parents. There was a lot of food and small talk, mostly about Emily and how to help Sam. It was beginning to get dark. All day long, I had the image of Edward beating that steering wheel in the back of my head. I was getting very anxious to leave, but I knew that Charlie was probably going to be one of the last to go. Edward was going to be so angry. The reality of just how angry was starting to sink in.

I had moved away from the group. I had my arms wrapped around me against the evening breeze. This was the last time I would ever be out here. I had grown to love this place. I heard footsteps behind me and looked back to see Jake walking toward me. My heart leaped to see him coming over to me. He had a sheepish look on his face as he said, "You won't believe this, but your dad asked me to come over here and offer you a ride home. He is going to be out here for a while still. I thought it would look suspicious if I refused."

I looked at him wistfully and asked. "What do you think Sam would do?" He shook his head, "Sam is still not paying attention to me, the rest of the guys would be pretty freaked though."

I nodded my head and said, "Can you just stand here by me, just one more time?"

He looked at me and in a husky voice said, "Sure."

We watched the pelicans heading out to the ocean. The salty ocean breeze blew through my hair. We watched the sun setting over the far horizon. I couldn't stop staring at him. Finally, I said, "Jake, I'm going to miss you so much. For my whole life I'll miss you." Jake looked down and didn't say anything for a moment, then he looked up at me and took a big breath.

"Come on," he said, "I'm going to take you home."

"What about . . .?"

"To hell with them," he grinned.

"I was hoping to see that one more time before I left," I said.

"What?" he questioned.

"Your beautiful smile," I said.

He looked down embarrassed, and grinned again.

Billy and Jake's house was only about a half mile from where we were, so we walked. It was a great walk. It was a lot like nothing had ever changed. He asked me about what schools I was planning on and I questioned him on what his plans were when he graduated. Although he had dreams of leaving the reservation and finding his own way, he knew he had to stay close for Billy, and Sam probably wouldn't want him wandering far.

"Jake, the Cullens won't be here forever, they will be leaving soon. Would Sam still have such a strong hold on you? Would you have your freedom then?" I asked hopefully.

Jake shook his head, "I'll guess we'll just have to wait and see," he answered.

We got into his car. So many memories here too. Before he started the engine, he looked over at me and said, "Bells, pretty soon we will be close enough that your bloodsuc . . .Cullen will be able to hear everything I think and say. I just want to tell you that I'll always love you, and if you ever need anything. . . I mean ever . . .please find me, okay?"

The tears started again. "Same here, Jake." I choked out.

"I have something to say too," I said. "Jake, you have to promise me that you and Edward will never fight again."

He shot me a look of complete surprise. "I can't promise that," he sneered.

"Yes Jake, you can!" I pleaded. "I will get Edward to promise the same thing. I can't take the thought of the two of you fighting again. The next time, the outcome will be much more deadly."

He looked out the windshield and sighed hard. "I will do my best, is that good enough?"

I was satisfied.

He started the car and I knew this was my last chance to ask my question.

I cleared my throat which had suddenly gone dry, and said, "Jake, if at some point I do decide to become . . . if I decide to change, will you come after Edward?"

He stared straight ahead and his knuckles turned white on the steering wheel. I saw sweat beginning on his forehead. He suddenly looked much older than sixteen. He emphasized each word. "Bella, what kind of question is that? What part of mortal enemies is too complicated for you?"

"Jake, if I decide to do this, it will be _my_ choice, not one forced upon me. I will be an adult making a decision about my own life. I repeat my question, will you take revenge on Edward if I do this?"

He swallowed hard. His eyes became dark and threatening. He took a deep breath to calm himself down. I remembered the time we were in his car and he almost phased. I instinctively backed up against the door.

In a rough voice he said, "Bella, if you decide to do this, I. . ." he laughed darkly and said, "Heaven help me when it comes to you Bella." I know that I should say that I won't stand in your way if that is what you really want, but I know that if Cullen changed you . . . ." his jaw tightened and he shuddered, "Do you really want me to come out and say what I'd do?" He looked at me then, and I recognized the look in his eye. It was the same one Edward gave me when he explained why I could never be near him when he was hunting. It was the look of ancient sadness and a certain helplessness that even though he could try very hard to keep part of who he was, in the end, the inner demon would always win.

"Please," I whispered desperately.

He just turned to look back at the road.

"Jake," I choked out.

He stared back at me again.

"Will you please do what you can to let Edward and I leave at the end of the summer in peace."

He turned to look at me and answered quietly, "I'll do what I can."

"Thank you." I whispered.

The rest of the drive home was silent. I kept thinking of how many times he had driven me home at night. I remember the hollow ache, the hole ripping in me every time I thought of Edward. Now, my angel was back. I had everything I wanted and dreamed about, but I lost Jake. My Jake.

We were just out of Forks now. I glanced at Jake and he was deep in thought. His jaw was clenched. I felt such a deep yearning to see Edward. Since he came back, we had spent almost every moment together. Today, I had done what I needed to do, and now I could calm down and get about the business of planning my life with my miracle. My heart was beating faster as we pulled into my driveway.

I looked over at Jake and sighed. "Good luck in everything you do, Jake."

"You too Bells," he said softly.

I grabbed his hand and squeezed hard then I took a big breath and said, "Good-bye."

He swallowed hard and whispered, "See ya."

I let go of his hand and got out of the car quickly and without turning back, I walked to the door.

I waited until I couldn't hear his car anymore before I went in the house. When I got in, I said, "Edward?" I didn't have to say it twice, he would know I was here without me having to say it the first time, but I called him again. "Edward, are you here?"

Silence.

I ran up to my room and turned on the light. Nothing.

I was trying to talk myself out of being anxious. Trying to slow my heartbeat down as I dialed the Cullen's house.

Alice answered. "Alice, it's Bella." As if she wouldn't know. "Do you know where Edward is?"

There was a long pause and then she said, "He's pretty mad."

I started talking quickly, "Alice, I did what I had to do, and I took care of everything. I need to talk to Edward, please tell me where he is."

I heard a troubled sigh, "I don't know exactly, he told me to call only if you were in danger. He didn't say when he would be back."

Now seemed like a good time to panic.

"Alice! What do you mean you don't know? I need to talk to him!" I screeched.

"He is not in any place that is recognizable. He is purposely choosing places that make it very difficult to pinpoint his location. It is just forest everywhere around him. . . . . . don't worry, he'll come back." Alice said reassuringly.

"Thanks," I said, "Please call me if you . . . "

"I will," she said. "Glad you're back safe."

I waited for him all night . . . . .but he never came.

**What do you Think???!!!! See you with the next chapter on Thursday.**


	13. Time Slipping

**So, did any of you read my reviews for the last chapter? Way entertaining!! Way Informative!! Hey, have you guys gone to the new fansite called Movie Casting Site? Yesterday was the first time it was up, I think - anyway, have you seen who is the pick for playing Edward? His name isTaylor Kitsch and OH. MY. GOSH. He has come the closest to what I have been picturing in my mind. He is beautiful. In my mind, I didn't picture Edward's abs as good as Taylor's though - they are really something. I can just picture myself running my hands through his hair and . . .(calming breath) I'm okay.**

**Recap: Edward saw Bella leaving to go see Jake at the funeral. He was furious! Bella came home and waited all night for Edward, but he never came.**

**Bella POV**

About 4:00 a.m., I heard it start to rain outside. The plinking on the window brought me out of my thoughts. I was so worried about how mad Edward actually was, and I my mind kept rerunning all the things Jake had said to me. Jake was getting in deeper and deeper. I couldn't completely trust him to act in the way he had before. I shook myself. It didn't matter. I would never see him or be able to talk to him again. I hoped he would be all right.

I was up and pacing again. How bad did I mess things up with Edward? I knew he would be mad, but I assumed that he would handle it by waiting for me in my bedroom seething. I didn't know how to handle this type of behavior.

Had I really been that unreasonable? I didn't think so. He was gone for seven months. After all, did he think I would just sit in my room like a zombie and never talk to anyone when he left? Okay, I did that. But, when I woke up, I reached out to someone I thought was safe. How did I know he'd turn out to be a werewolf?

Edward coming back was a dream I never thought would happen for me . I had been trying to make some sort of life for myself. Was I supposed to just drop everything and everyone when he came back? Would he really expect me to?

Okay, Jake did kidnap me and Edward put himself and his family at risk to rescue me. And yes, Jake tried to kill Edward. Ughhhh, a person's head could explode from all of this.

Edward had to understand that I didn't go to see Jake just for me, but for him as well.

At 5:00 a.m. I was still pacing. Would Edward be at school today? Would he ignore me? If he didn't come to school today, what would I do? How long would he be gone? I went to stare out the window again. The rain was hitting against the window so hard that I couldn't see anything.

An hour or so later, I begrudgingly got ready for school. The hot shower did little to loosen my taut nerves. I didn't even attempt to swallow a bite of breakfast.

As I neared the school, my heart rate accelerated considerably. I scanned nervously for any Cullen car in the school parking lot. I saw nothing.

As I locked my car door, my insides leaped as I saw Emmett's truck pull in. The truck didn't stop though, it pulled up to the curb and I watched Alice float out of the truck. Alone.

I ran over and looked in. I wanted to talk to Edward so much and explain everything. My disappointment was obvious. "Oh, hi Emmett," I grumbled.

"Hey Bells," He said without a care in the world. "Would you mind giving Alice a ride home today? Rosalie and I are leaving to go hunting this afternoon."

"Oh, sure. . . no problem. . "I mumbled.

"Thanks Bella. See ya later!" Emmett called.

As he drove away, I turned to Alice and said, "Alice, did you hear from him last night?"

The steady rain fit my mood. She began walking. I fell in step beside her. "I called him last night and told him you were home, he said he already knew. Then he hung up." Alice said.

"I tried his cell phone and he wouldn't answer." I choked out.

She stopped walking and turned to look at me. "He was pretty angry at me for not catching on quicker to the fact that you were planning on seeing Jake." She put her dainty hands on her hips. "In my defense, I told him that I did catch small visions of you sneaking away, but they never lasted very long. I thought it was just wishful thinking on your part." She started walking again. "All of the sudden, it was extremely clear that you actually meant to go to that funeral." Alice was shaking her head.

"I called Edward immediately," she continued. "I can't repeat what he said." She mumbled. She looked at my face. "The circles under your eyes are worse than mine."

"I waited for him all night," I said pathetically.

Alice raised her eyebrows. "You didn't sleep at all?"

I shook my head.

She put her arm around me and we walked into our first class.

I was once again glad that she was in almost all of my classes. I fell asleep in Trig, Biology and English and she covered for me. Those classes were hard to take even with a good night's sleep. I was hyper aware of the empty desk sitting next to me all day long.

When I took her home, she asked if I wanted to come in and hang out.

"Is he here?" I asked hopefully.

"No, I checked all the way home. He isn't here," She said apologetically.

I shook my head. "I don't work today, but I just want to go home." I paused for a moment and then said, "Alice, is this normal for Edward to act like this?" I was close to tears.

She sighed hard and her musical voice was thoughtful. "It has always been very difficult for Edward to put his trust in anybody. For so long, he was only able to depend on us and himself." She spoke haltingly as she fought for the right words. "He has never confided in anyone else, or felt secure with anyone else except our family. It is not an easy thing for him to say he relies on anyone, but he felt he could confide in and rely on you."

It would have hurt less if she had just hauled off and hit me. She was right. I wanted Edward to be able to trust me. I wanted him to have complete faith in the person he thought I was. Alice watched me stare out the front window. "What have I done?" I whispered.

Alice touched my arm. "He'll be back," She said confidently. Then she flitted into the house.

When I got home, I checked to make sure Charlie had something to eat for dinner. There was leftover meatloaf from Tuesday. I stumbled twice going up the stairs. I trudged into my room, let my book bag fall to the floor, and flopped on my bed.

I began to cry tears of fear and frustration. Sleep was about to overtake me. Crying myself to sleep. This was all too familiar. Only this time it was my doing. He hadn't even been back a week and already I was wracked with fear I would never see him again. I turned on my side to look at my window. _Please come back_, I pleaded. Was it worth it? Was it worth it to risk my relationship with Edward to see Jake? Before I could answer that question, I fell asleep.

That night I had a dream. It was one I'd never had before. I saw Edward put a ring on my finger and I was so happy. He was hugging me and twirling me around. There were dark clouds rolling in off the horizon, but I was so filled with joy that I paid no attention.

Edward was kissing me then. It began to get darker and darker. The clouds pressed down almost within reach and then they completely engulfed us. I held on tightly to Edward's hand, but I lost my grip, and then he was gone. My arms searched wildly while I screamed his name, but there was nothing.

I shot up in bed. It was dark. Rain was lightly hitting my window. I glanced over at the clock and saw that it was 3:22. I blinked my eyes and then out of the corner of my eye, I saw him sitting in my rocking chair.

I was so relieved to see Edward that I almost cried out. The dark look on his face made him fiercely beautiful. He made no attempt to approach me. He sat back with his brow furrowed. His head was tilted and resting in his hand.

He was as still as a marble statue. I met his eyes, but it was too dark to read any sign of what he was thinking. Then, he broke my gaze and looked away. I got out of bed and knelt down in front of him and laid my head in his lap.

"I am so happy you're back," I sighed.

For one long moment there was no response from him. I began to feel foolish and wondered if I should pull away, but I just couldn't. Then, I heard a small sigh and his hand touched my hair.

I slowly turned to look up at him. His head was still resting in his hand. His angular features were set and hard.

I grabbed his free hand and held it tightly in both of mine as I said, "I had to go."

He looked away from me and said, "No you didn't, you _wanted_ to go."

"I couldn't leave things the way they were." I said while shaking my head.

"Yes you could, you _absolutely_ could have left things just as they were." He shifted then, and I could see his muscles tense against the restraint he was using to remain calm.

"I tried to explain to you how important it was for me to talk to him, but you wouldn't listen." I said forcefully.

"You're wrong Bella," he leaned forward, "I listened to everything you said, but your safety was more important to me than anything else."

This argument, from my experience, would go nowhere. I didn't know if I could avoid having this debate again, but I tried. I softened my voice as I asked, "Where have you been?"

His look became sinister, his beauty even more exquisite. His bluish circles traveled down almost into his cheeks as he said, "I've spent most of my time wandering around and wondering why the woman I love deceived me so she could spend the entire day with someone who would like nothing better than to dance over my ashes."

His anger unnerved me. I raised up on my knees and put my hands on his chest. I looked into his eyes beseechingly. "I didn't want to deceive you, but you wouldn't listen to me! I was true to you the whole time I was with Jake."

He swallowed hard and said, "From the very first time I spoke to you, you have been honest with me about everything. As far as I now, you have never lied to me. Now, the very first time you choose to be dishonest, it is so you can go see Black." He leaned forward and said, "You tell me, what am I supposed to think?"

I winced and closed my eyes.

His low voice was rough as he said, "I should be able to trust you more than anyone."

I put my hands on the side of his face and said earnestly, "You can trust me Edward. One of the reasons I went to talk to him was to find out if Sam was planning anything else. I went there to make sure you and Jake never fight again." I thought I was making my point, but he was still looking down. His dark lashes masking any emotion.

Then, his eyes raised to meet mine as he slowly said, "This is a very dangerous game you are playing Bella. I am not demanding you make a choice between me and Black, but ultimately, the choice may be made for you."

I flippantly decided not to try to understand what he was talking about. I thought it was just Edward being melodramatic. I dropped my hands off his face in frustration.

"Edward," I said, "There was never a question of choice. I have explained over and over why I needed to go." I sat down on the floor and said, "Perhaps we both have trust issues," I murmured.

"Because I left and you are not sure I won't leave again?" he asked.

I shook my head as I looked at him.

"Explain yourself, please," he said.

"Because you refuse to change me," I whispered.

He fell back against the chair in anger. His hand went across his face in a lightning fast movement as he sighed heavily.

"That is exactly the reaction that kills me inside and makes me doubt everything you say!" I whispered fiercely. "It makes me think you don't want me forever and that I can't let my guard down."

"Imagine how I felt when I saw you pull up to your house in Black's car," he shot back, his voice was filled with hurt.

"You were here and you saw me? Did you know I waited up all night for you?" Now I was angry.

I got up and sat on the edge of my bed and folded my arms to show just how angry I was. "Edward, I don't plan on seeing Jake, maybe ever again. We both said what needed to be said. We both said our good-byes." I said matter of factly.

Edward went stiff from the surprise. His eyes first showed confusion, then anger as he said, "That's not what Black thinks."

I blinked in confusion. "Yes, he does. We both knew that there was no way I could love a vampire and be best friends with a werewolf."

"Bella," he was talking slowly, reluctantly. "I was standing only about a ½ mile into the trees when you came home. I was hit with a torrent of thoughts as soon as he came into my range. They varied from extreme hatred for me and his plans for my demise, to how much I don't deserve you." Hesitantly, he said, "He let me know how much he still loves you. It is not over for him."

My mind went back to the look of intense concentration I saw on Jake's face last night as we got closer to Forks. Dang him. That was a dirty trick he played. I said, "Edward, he knows my choice is to be with you." He raised one eyebrow. His look turned solemn and I knew he was not convinced.

I came off the bed and knelt in front of him again, taking both his hands in mine as I said, "I can't help the way he feels, but I am telling you I have said everything to Jake that needed to be said." I lifted up his chin to look at me. "I promise I won't ever see him again."

"Because you think I am pressuring you, or because it is your choice," he asked intently.

I stroked the cheek of his lovely face as I said, "Because my heart is at home only with you. I want Jake to go find the same thing with someone that can truly love him. I hate to see pain on your face and know that I put it there. You're my beautiful miracle and you came back to me, and I'm never letting you go."

I saw his eyes close with relief as in one fluid motion he moved down off the chair so that we were kneeling in front of each other.

He took my face in his hands and said seriously, "We must be able to put all our trust in the other if we have any chance of being together."

His words scared me, "Any chance?" I whispered.

"I just keep feeling like time is running out for us." His face was twisted and his jaw was clenched as he put his forehead to mine.

I assumed that his mood had everything to do with my leaving. I wrapped my arms around him and said, "Time will never run out for us. We have forever."

He pulled me to him in an iron grasp. "Am I holding you too tightly?" he asked.

"Never," I answered and hugged him even tighter to me. I nestled my nose in his neck and luxuriated in his scent. I was dizzy when I asked him a question, "Did you come into my room last night?"

"No," his voice was muffled in my shoulder. "I sat outside your window in about the same spot I sat a week ago when I was deciding if I should come back into your life again."

I pulled back to look at him and asked, "Where were you today?"

His face was thoughtful. He ran his fingertips over my lips as he said, "I knew Alice was with you, so I took care of something."

"What?" I was very interested.

He looked smug. "Not now, later."

I faked a pout.

He chuckled and held me close as he said, "I thought I was losing you to Black."

I sighed and whispered, "Not a chance."

He shook his head and said, "I know I came back without warning and messed up the life you were building for yourself."

"Half a life," I corrected him.

His lips were on mine then. His cold lips held me in a trance. I was so thankful for his understanding and forgiveness. I was so grateful for his goodness and not demanding or forcing me into a decision, but letting me work things out for myself. As he kissed me, I wanted so much to run my fingers through his hair and pull him tight to me, but I was good. I stuck to the rules.

Much to my dismay, Edward began a mission. College applications. Everyday he showed up after school with a new stack. Charlie seemed much more accommodating to Edward whenever he showed up with a new pile of papers and stamps.

Edward still had three more days before his car was fixed. For Charlie's sake, Emmett was dropping him off at my house. When I asked why nobody in his family would let him borrow their car, Edward mumbled something about being paranoid and let the subject drop. Alice, on the other hand let me know that when I sneaked off to LaPush, Edward trashed the inside of Carlisle's car. "We're talking really trashed." She had said. Nobody was letting Edward near their car.

After two endless evenings of trudging through the stacks of applications, Edward voiced his concern at my lack of enthusiasm. I looked down to hide my embarrassment. "I just hoped that this whole college thing was just to get me alone so you could change me."

I saw his pained expression and the look of determination on his face as he said, "The plan was always to go to college."

"No," I said indignantly, "That was your plan, it was always my plan B. I looked at the intimidating stack of papers and said, "Edward, why am I doing this? Let's just pick some school in Alaska. I could almost afford the first semester's tuition up there. It's as good an alibi as any."

A pained look tightened his face. "Bella, the timing is still undecided, if at all. You might enjoy a semester or two of college. You might decide you like it so much that you want to keep going." He swallowed hard and said, "There are a lot of human experiences you've never had."

"I'll get to those afterward."

"They won't be _human_ experiences afterward. You don't get a second chance at humanity, Bella."

"Edward, you said yourself you felt time was running out for us. There is only one way I can think of for you to stop time for me."

We both stared at each other, gazing unrelentingly. The electric current passing between us refused to fade. As we stared, the silence deepened and I could see persistence and tenacity smolder in his tawny eyes.

Very quietly he said, "To celebrate your graduation, I would like to take you someplace special. The weekend after graduation, may I take you to Seattle for a nice dinner?"

I smiled and said, "It's your graduation too, you know."

He smiled back, grateful for the playfulness that had found its way into the conversation. "The first time means the most."

I grabbed his hand and said, "Yes, I would very much like to go."

He seemed satisfied.

The next day at school, Edward was troubled. At lunch I questioned him about it. He looked at me and said, "Tonight is the treaty meeting. Carlisle and Jasper are going to meet the two elders he knows, Billy Black and Harry Clearwater."

"I assume it is no accident that he's taking Jasper," I commented.

Edward nodded his head. "I wish he could also take Emmett, but the treaty signifies they must meet in equal numbers."

"You know, everything they will talk about I covered with Jake. This meeting is completely unnecessary," I said arrogantly.

Edward stared at me impatiently. "Forgive me if I'm not taking the word of a sixteen year old heartbroken werewolf over the solemn oaths of the elders. Besides, Jake has absolutely no control over Sam, the elders do."

"Are you sure about that?" I asked doubtfully. I wasn't sure anyone was controlling Sam right now.

Edward ran his hand through his hair in frustration and said, "When it comes to this, I'm not sure of anything."

"You know what I am sure of?" I said laughing.

"What's that?" Edward took my hand.

"That we are the only people in this lunchroom talking about werewolves, vampires, and treaties." I got what I wanted, he gave me my crooked smile.

That night, Edward laid beside me and hummed my lullaby to me. But, I was so worried about Carlisle and Jasper I fell into a troubled sleep. Around 1:00 in the morning, I woke up to see Edward staring up at the ceiling.

I asked him if Carlisle had called yet, he shook his head. I got closer so I could see his face. I expected him to have a look of concern, but instead it was calculating.

He took a deep breath and said, "Bella, I've been thinking about something."

He was still looking at the ceiling when he asked, "If you could have anything in the world, anything at all, what would it be?"

My eyes narrowed with curiosity, "You."

He shook his head impatiently. "Something you don't already have."

I wasn't sure where he was trying to lead me, so I thought carefully before I answered. I thought back to when I was in the hospital in Phoenix after I had been attacked and bitten by James. Edward had stopped the venom from coursing through my body. If Edward had just let the poison do its work, I would already have been a vampire for a year now. Having James bite me wasn't my ideal of how I had wanted it to happen, I had my own dreams of how it would be.

I pulled Edward to face me. I was lying on my back and he was propped up on one elbow looking down on me. "I want to be a vampire, and I would want _you_ to change me."

He stared deep into my eyes. "This is what you want _more_ than anything?"

"More than all the other anythings put together," I whispered.

"Bella," he began. His eyes were pools of dark bronze. His hand brushed my cheek. "If you want me to do this, I have just one condition."

My heart fluttered in shock and then stopped completely. I sat up on my elbow to meet his eyes and smiled. "Anything . . . .anything." I sang.

His eyes were cautious - he spoke slowly. "Marry me first."

I sort of coughed and choked at the same time. I was staring into his eyes. My head was screaming "No" hysterically. I was only eighteen. I was panicking about how serious everything had become. "Edward, . . . . I."

All of the sudden, Edward got a phone call from Carlisle. He was silent, listening to Carlisle speak for over a minute. Then Edward sat up straight and I think he swore, but it was too low and fast for me to know for sure. He began pacing around the room asking Carlisle questions and finally he hung up.

His back was to me as he put his phone away. "Edward, what is it?" I asked nervously.

He slowly turned around, his hands on his hips and said, "The meeting did not go well. He sighed hard and continued. "Harry was irate at the fact we were on the reservation to rescue you. That is a definite breach of the treaty, and actually means they have the right to start a war."

I stared at him incredulously. "It's not a breach of the treaty to kidnap someone and hold them at the reservation against their will?" I cried.

Edward stared at me and said grimly, "Apparently, Billy said that since you came back of your own free will just 4 days later and stayed all day, that he didn't believe you really were kidnapped."

My throat burned and I found it hard to breathe. "Oh Edward, I'm so sorry."

Edward went to look out the window as he said, "They began to have quite a heated discussion about us leaving immediately, and threatening to tell Charlie if you followed. Harry said that Charlie was his best friend and that this had gone on long enough and then . . . ."

"What Edward?" I asked fearfully.

Edward turned to look at me. "Harry had a heart attack. Carlisle did everything he could for him, he administered CPR until the ambulance came and rode with Harry in the ambulance and treated him in the hospital, but he was pronounced dead about 15 minutes ago." Edward's hands ran over his face as he finished. "Carlisle had more to say, but he had to hang up. Sam had just come bursting through the doors of the hospital demanding to talk to him."

My eyes were wide. Edward's words rang through my head. _I just keep_ _feeling like time is running out for us_. "Edward, hold me," I cried out.

He was there then. Holding me tightly as I cried. He whispered everything would be all right, but this time, I wasn't so sure.

**Okay, what do you think? let me know what you think is going right or wrong. I appreciate criticisms, really. Are you guys enjoying any good stories on this site right now? I haven't been able to get into very many, but I don't check them all. Tell me if you have a recommendation, or if you have a story on right now. I would love to read it. Next chapter out probably Sunday.**


	14. Clouds

**I am probably more nervous for this chapter than any other I have written. This goes a little OOC for Bella's character, but I think it is believable. I want to thank all who are still reading. I want you to know that after this chapter, there will be one lighter chapter. Everything has been so heavy for these two, I wanted to make one chapter a little funner. AFTER THAT, EVERYTHING TAKES OFF, SO HOLD ON TO TOUR HATS!!**

**There is a section in here where I will be plagiarizing myself. I took a conversation out of another story I've written called, "Beautiful Soul" and stuck it in here. I just had to, it fit so well. If you ever read my other story, you will hear it twice.**

**Thank you for reading. Thank you for reviewing. I have the best people reading my story. I am sure of it!**

**RECAP: The treaty meeting was taking place. Harry died of a heart attack and Sam burst into the hospital to confront Carlisle.**

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Edward had just got me calmed down when my home phone rang about 30 minutes later. I immediately tensed up in Edward's arms again. I heard Charlie's heavy footsteps on the stairs. I flew into hysterics.

"That has to be Sam calling to tell Charlie about us! He is going to tell him about you!" I cried out. I had Edward in a vice grip.

Edward wiped my tears away as he said, "It's Billy."

I sucked in air, "Billy would be the one they would send!" I was sobbing now.

Edward put his finger to my lips and said quietly, "Billy called to tell him about Harry."

I looked in Edward's face then. "He'll just wait until he has Charlie at the hospital. He'll tell him everything!" I got up and started frantically going through my drawers throwing everything into a bag.

Edward stared at me. "What are you doing?"

Through my sobs I said, "If they demand you leave, I'm going with you. We may not have much time." I started moving faster. "When Charlie finds out, he will fly back here and he won't be alone. Every squad car in the county will surround this house. You would get away just fine, but there's no way I'll get past them." I couldn't even see, my tears covered my face. My nose was running. I was a mess.

Edward came and grabbed me by the shoulders and said, "Bella, calm down. I'm not going anywhere, not without you." He bent down so he was looking right into my face. "Look, you have to calm down. Let me call Carlisle back and see if he has any news, okay?"

I heard Charlie drive away. Edward was on the phone for far too long. He looked over at me once with an optimistic look. I was afraid Edward and I had lost valuable time getting away. When Edward hung up he smiled and said, "Good news."

How could there possibly be good news? I walked to stand right in front of him and he said, "Billy caught Sam when he came storming in the hospital and told him that it wasn't the place to start any trouble. Harry's family were all arriving and he wanted Sam to show respect to them. Billy took Sam off alone and informed him of Carlisle's heroic effort in trying to save Harry. Billy insisted that Sam go home, and Sam left without ever talking to Carlisle."

Edward smiled even bigger when he said, "Billy then came to Carlisle and told him that he would have a tribal meeting and insist on peace for the summer, but at the end of that time, we would have to open up negotiations for our leaving. Billy acknowledged there had been too much grief on both sides, and that he would not be able to keep Sam at bay forever, but that he would insist we have the next three months to prepare."

I couldn't believe it. "Billy didn't say anything about me leaving with you?"

Edward shook his head and faked innocence. "You are going away to school, what could he possibly have to say about that?" I jumped up and put my arms around his neck and wrapped my legs around him. Edward laughed loud and swung me around.

I put my hands on each side of his face and reached down and kissed him. "I love you," I breathed. Edward pulled me tighter around him and I tightened my legs. I tried to hold back but my kiss went deeper. He didn't stop me. It was like all the tension that had been building for days finally broke free. We kissed for so long, that I was grateful I wasn't standing on my own feet, they never would have held me up. His mouth opened for a small second, and my head was swirling. I couldn't help it. A moan escaped my lips and it only served to drive Edward further.

He turned and laid me on the bed, my legs were still wrapped around him and he pressed himself against me. My hands found their way inside his shirt and up his back. He loved it. He left countless kisses on my neck and behind my ear. I was fighting to keep myself in check. I just couldn't get close enough to him. For the first time I understood in a small way what it was like for Edward everyday. I didn't know how he did it. I was slowly losing any power to restrain myself.

I opened my eyes and he was staring at me. His eyes were excited as I'm sure mine were. We both laid there holding tightly to each other as we were breathing hard and swallowing air. Our eyes bore into the other's and I felt closer to him in that stare then I ever felt before. Finally, he closed his eyes and laid his head down listening to my heart. It felt as though now, it was beating only for him. He reached down for my hand and brought it to his lips and then gripped it tightly.

My dad came home weary the next morning. He had stayed at the hospital comforting Harry's wife Sue, and their kids. He was really torn up about Harry. My dad would be going to another funeral. I made sure Edward knew I had no intention of going to another funeral in LaPush.

The next weeks were spent getting ready for finals, finishing papers, and completing projects. I was completely happy just being in school sitting next to my prince and Alice everyday. Edward had not mentioned anything at all about marriage. I was thankful. I could use words like destiny and fate when it came to Edward, but the word fiancee somehow got stuck on the way out.

Graduation day finally arrived. It was so good to see Renee again. She had come alone. Phil was playing in Cleveland. Renee was doing her best to try and get me to come stay with her for the summer, but there was no way I was leaving Edward for that long. I told her I needed to stay and work to earn tuition money.

Renee had taken maybe a hundred pictures of me in my cap and gown. The Cullens hung back and didn't show much emotion. After all, how many times can you go to a graduation for the same children and still manage to get excited? To see Edward in his graduation clothes made me smile. They made him look so human. Alice just flitted around and took her own pictures. I thought the day was nice, it only rained once. Renee and Charlie invited the Cullens over for a barbecue that afternoon. I think my mom wanted to get to know Edward and his family better. She couldn't figure out why there was so much food left over. "Such big strapping boys," she said. "I thought for sure they would eat more."

That Friday morning, my angel came to pick me up for our day in Seattle. I was so excited. It had only been an hour since I'd seen him in my room, but as always, it was far too long.

He had his suit and my dress hanging in his car. He was surprising me with a dress that Alice had picked out for me. I was trying not to think about what get-up she had planned for me now. I grabbed my bag and we were off.

Edward was in a very good mood. We had easy conversation while we listened to music. I tried to keep my eyes on Edward's face and off the road. It was going by in a blur. It only took us two and a half hours to get to Seattle.

Edward had reserved a room at probably the nicest hotel in the city. The Crown Plaza Hotel. I was very uncomfortable with all of it, but it was obvious Edward loved to treat me to these things, so I made an effort to show my appreciation. The lobby was massive and beautiful. There were fresh flowers in huge vases everywhere I looked. There were also hotel employees stationed every 10 feet to meet the need of anyone rich enough to actually spend the night there.

Edward took us up to our room. It was the Penthouse Suite. I swear it was bigger than the school auditorium back in Forks. It had a very large sitting room and two bathrooms that could each hold 20 people easily.

Steps went up from the sitting room where two large double doors opened to an amazing bedroom. The far wall was made completely of windows that looked out over the city. There was another sitting area and more steps that went up to the platform where the bed was.

I laughed out loud. "No way!" I said. "This place is amazing!" I ran straight to the bed and started jumping on it. "Come see the incredible view!" I yelled. Edward laughed and it sounded like music. He walked up into the bedroom and smiled at me. "Be careful or you'll go flying through that window. Thirty five stories is a long way to fall, even for me." he said.

"Catch me," I cried. Then I jumped and he caught me easily. I looked up into his face and while out of breath, I said, "This room is beautiful. But, you didn't have to do any of this." I scolded him.

He put me down and put his hand on each side of my face as he said, "I have been looking forward to this day for a long time. I love you, and in our life together I plan on doing these type of things often, so get used to it."

I closed my eyes and breathed him in. When I opened my eyes, he looked at me and said, "What were you doing just then?" I dreamily stared at him and said, "Making a memory."

He kissed me softly as he ran his fingers down my neck. And I truly thought that nothing could ever come between us. From here on out, it would be just me and him against the world.

Dinner wasn't until 7:00, so we went out for some fun. We walked around Pike Place Market and Edward bought me an ice cream cone that I ate while we walked along the pier. We found an art gallery and spent most of our time in there talking about the pictures and debating back and forth which was our favorite. There was one photographer that had an exhibit there that we both especially liked.

On the way back to the hotel, Edward asked if we could stop at a music store that he always came to when he was in town. Inside were beautiful pianos and endless supplies of sheet music. He found some music that he thought looked interesting and he walked up to a white grand piano to try it out. I stood to the side of the piano and watched Edward intently study the notes as his hands flew across the keys. To see him like this made me so happy. Not worrying about werewolves or his soul. My heart swelled as I watched him play. He bought several pieces of music and I made him promise he would play them for me when we were back in Forks.

It was time to get ready for dinner. Edward handed me the bag with my dress and I let out a large sigh and went to get ready. I was actually going all out. I put hot rollers in my hair and even brought lipstick. The dress, to my relief, was actually quite beautiful. It was a soft pink color and it came down just above my knees. It was very soft and airy. It did not have sleeves, but two pieces of material that came off the top of the dress, over my shoulders, and gathered behind my back and was held there by a shimmering broach. The shoes Alice gave me were, of course, death traps. They were silver, matching the broach perfectly. I brushed out my hair and let the soft curls fall down my back, put on the pale pink lipstick, and walked out.

Edward was a masterpiece. He was wearing a black tuxedo with a dark gray tie. His pale skin was almost surreal. He stood in expectation close to the bathroom and when I walked out he swallowed hard and stared at me. "I'll never understand how I was able to convince someone as beautiful as you to fall in love with me," he breathed. That was a thought that ran through my head concerning him, rather often.

I stared down at my shoes as I said, "I am going to have to hold on tight to you all night. Otherwise, I'll be going back to Forks in a cast."

He smiled at me wickedly, "That was my plan."

The restaurant, I'm sure, was also probably the most expensive one in the city. We were seated at the most private table in the whole room. I looked around the beautiful dining room and saw there was a woman playing a harp in the far corner. The table was amazing. My eyes grew wide at the six forks flanking my plate and a separate menu for each course. When I did look at the menu, I had to hide my shock when I saw the prices. Our meal would cost as much as mine and Charlie's grocery budget for almost a whole month. Edward ordered each course and played along. The food was beyond delicious. Edward was clearly enjoying himself.

It didn't matter where we were, Edward was always, by far, the most handsome man in the room. He never seemed to notice how he dazzled everyone. The second and third looks every female always gave him. I had the privilege of knowing the wonder he was inside. I would never in a million years take this smiling beautiful angel across from me for granted.

When the dessert came, I tasted it and closed my eyes. "This is so good, you really have to try it," I said. It was some sort of chocolate cake floating on heavy cream. Inside, the cake was a filling of fluffy chocolate mousse.

I looked around to see if anyone was watching, and then dug my finger into the mousse and held it out to Edward. He slowly grabbed my finger in both of his hands and stuck my finger in his mouth. My breath caught. He stared at me seductively as he held my finger in his mouth for an indescribable moment. I could feel his tongue running up and down my finger. Then, he very slowly brought my finger out of his mouth. His eyes never left mine as he then said roughly, "Definitely the best chocolate I've had in 106 years."

I had to hold on to the table with my other hand to steady myself.

After dinner, Edward took me to the Space Needle. When we reached the top, we were the only ones there. I couldn't believe this was a coincidence. Did Edward pay to have it just to ourselves?

The view was spectacular. It was a perfect night. There were no clouds and the stars were twinkling and the full moon had just come up. I was walking around the platform looking at the city skyline from all sides. The lights were reflected in the ocean which made the scene all the more beautiful. Edward followed quietly behind me. When I had been all the way around, I looked back at him and he looked nervous. Almost as if he was actually sweating. He was pulling at his tie trying to give his neck room. I walked over to him and said, "Are you okay, Edward?"

Edward stared at me and shook his head, "No, Bella, I'm not." He swallowed hard and said, "There is something I have to say to you now, before another moment passes."

He squared his feet and took a breath and said, "Bella, You have no idea what you mean to me. You are my life line to everything that is beautiful and sweet and good. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. All I want is just to love you. You make me happier then anyone else can, you make me crazier, sadder, more passionate, more afraid, and madder than anyone else ever could. My life, to me, was worth nothing until you walked into it. I have promised you I will never leave you, but, oh Bella, I want to offer you so much more."

I was staring at him, completely under his spell. I opened my mouth to say something, but he stopped me. He looked right into my eyes and said, "You have captivated me both by the beauty you carry on the inside and out. I love you."

Then, just below my eyes, he opened a box.

My knees went weak and my head was spinning. I was panicking with fright and deliriously happy all at the same time.

Edward was watching me intently trying probably harder than ever before to lift from my mind what I was thinking.

I, however, was staring at a most exquisite ring. There was a rather large oval topaz gemstone that took my breath away. It was surrounded by countless smaller diamonds, but what I found most intriguing, was the band. It was gold with inlaid diamonds and curious engravings that made it look like something of an earlier century.

Edward saw me fingering the band. He seemed pleased that I had noticed it and he said, "Back in that horrid hospital in 1918, Carlisle had the kindness and presence of mind that when my mother died, he took her wedding ring and saved it for me. It is all I have of her. I wanted so much for you and I to bind something of my past when I was just as human as you, and link it to all of our tomorrows." He stared at me again, and put his hand on my cheek as he said, "You are the only one I'll ever want to wear my mother's ring." He smiled largely, his perfect teeth gleaming in the moonlight and said, "I did add my own small touches to it." Small touches? The stone was huge.

He looked back in my face again. He searched for any sign of what my answer might be. When he had brought up the subject that night in my room, I was beyond terror, but now, it was as if everything was laid out before me making perfect sense. Edward had been on the earth over 100 years, yet somehow our paths happened to cross for a short amount of time in Forks. What if I had stayed with Renee? What if he'd never come to Forks?

Destiny, fate, whatever. . . had given us this one chance. I would be a fool not to take it. I wasn't afraid. This magnificent angel just asked me to marry him and I was crazy in love with him.

I smiled and said, "You haven't come right out and asked me yet." He closed his eyes against the embarrassment and gave me my crooked smile. I loved him so much I ached.

He opened his eyes and put his hand on the side of my face then he flashed a wide smile and dropped to one knee and said, "Bella, will you marry me?" I smiled and knelt down in front of him and said, "Yes Edward, I'll marry you."

His eyes got wide and he said, "Yes?"

I laughed and nodded my head, "Yes."

He laughed too and took the ring out of the box and put it on my finger. It fit perfectly. He stood up and reached down for me. He picked me up and swung me around as he yelled, "We're engaged!"

When he put me down I stared at my finger. It was sparkling like crazy. I was going to develop a muscle from carrying this beautiful thing around. I breathed in deeply and started talking rapidly, "So, what do you think . . .go to school for the fall and get married at Christmas, or maybe be engaged for a year and get married next summer?" I grabbed both of his hands as I asked again, "What do you think?"

Edward looked at me and I could see his jaw tightening. "Bella," he said haltingly, "My plan is for us to be engaged for five years. Then get married . . . if you still want to."

I thought for sure I'd heard him wrong. My eyes narrowed, "_Your_ plan? Five years? You've got to be kidding! What do you mean if I still want to?"

He started talking so fast I had to concentrate to keep up. "I just thought that for the next five years you could do all the human things you're entitled to. I want you to go to school, I want you to get a job when you graduate. I want you to travel and be around people and your family."

"Edward," I was shaking. "You just asked me to marry you, and I said yes. Aren't we past all these games?"

He looked down at me nervously. I realized, that he really believed that I would agree to all of this. I narrowed my eyes. I was so afraid to ask. In a shaky voice I said, "Do you promise, without a doubt, that you would change me in five years?"

He took a deep breath and said, "We would definitely have a very serious discussion at that time . . ."

"That's a load of crap!" I screamed. He jumped back surprised. I was a little surprised myself. "You are just trying to pacify me so I'll shut up about you changing me! Give her five years, you say, and then after that she will probably just decide that staying with me as a human really isn't that big of a deal. I'll be in this so deep that you'll think I'll just stay!"

"Bella, I . . . "

"No," He was reaching out to me and I put out my hands to stop him.

"You would lose so much in this, Bella," he said fiercely.

"Edward, you don't understand, you are my life. You are the only thing it would hurt me to lose!" No matter how many times I said this, he never understood.

"I have had almost 90 years to decide and I'm still not sure. You don't know what you're saying. You would give up more than you already have to become a vampire."

I was so hurt by his words. "You have always been arrogant and condescending to me about this. Edward, I do know what I'm saying. All the things I want in my life I can't have _unless_ you change me. You seem to think you have done some horrible wrong by loving me, it could not be farther from the truth."

I was getting bolder now, "You do realize what a couple can do after they are married, right? We are getting closer everyday. I want us to be close. Edward, we would be fantastic together. Think about how it is for Carlisle and Esme. It would be like that for us. Do you never intend on that happening for us even after we are married?"

He clenched his teeth and said, "I won't make you a vampire just so that I can get what I want."

"What about what I want?" I yelled.

He had the look of complete determination on his face. His eyes were hard. "All the things you want, that we both want, I will find a way to give you and keep you human."

I turned and began storming around the other side of the platform. He followed me. All of the sudden, I whirled around and said, "Why Edward, why did you ask me to marry you if you have no intentions of changing me?"

He took a breath and said, "Because I want you with me. I want us to be committed to each other, but I want you to be able to do all the things you should be able to do. I don't want to hold you back by making you a monster."

I grabbed his arms and said, "You seem to think that my life is so much better than what you can give. Human life is great, but it is also fragile and vulnerable, you should know that better than anyone."

He looked down, clenching his jaw. "Edward, without this promise of forever, life is just an ordinary world, and I can't go back to ordinary. Edward, please take my hand and lead me through your world. Please!" I could feel the tears coming.

He took a deep breath. "I think the best solution is for you stay human. We would be happy Bella, you just don't want to see it."

The moonlight was gone. The clouds were moving in.

I made an attempt to calm down. Of all the things that haunted me about staying human, one was far worse than all the others. "Edward, I know you think this is the solution, I'm telling you it is not. I am going to get older."

He started to speak, but I was nowhere close to finished.

"As I grow older, I know how I'll handle it no matter how much you say you love me. I will become obsessed with looking younger. I will hate the way I look. You will still be this beautiful angel . . . eventually, no matter what I do I am going to get very old."

He brushed the tears away from my cheeks with his lips. "That doesn't mean anything to me." He breathed against my skin. "You will always be the most beautiful thing in my world."

I pulled away from him. "Edward, this is only if I have good health. I could get really sick when I'm 45 and it will all be over with so much sooner than we hoped."

"I'll follow as soon as I can." He was utterly sincere. He spoke as if he'd put endless amounts of thought into his asinine plan.

"That is seriously . . sick." I scoffed. "What would that do to Esme?"

He turned to look out over the city and I said quietly, "What if I end up in a wheelchair? What if I end up with a lingering illness and it drags out for months and months and I am in horrible pain? Are you going to change me then? I'll be old and then the choice to change me will be taken away from you."

He was looking down, not saying anything.

"Edward, I know how I'll handle this. When it gets to the point that I'm old, sick or feeble, I'll leave."

His head snapped up. I started to back away as I said, "I'll go so far away that Alice won't even know where I am and when I die you won't even know it! I'll die alone and . . ."

"Stop!" he yelled as he grabbed my arms. His eyes were crazed as he whispered, "Please stop."

I met his gaze and forced myself to look determined. He had to know how bad this life was he wanted to sentence me to.

So many questions were running through my head. My insecurities came out. "Is it because you are only attracted to me if I'm human? Is it because I'm warm? Will my scent go away if you change me? What Edward, what?"

He spoke, his voice was beautiful like a lullaby. "I am the one who is supposed to take care of you; want the best for you. I want to see you grow and progress and become all the things you ever dreamed before you met me. You are far more beautiful now than the day I first saw you in that lunchroom. Think of how beautiful you will be when you are 25, 55, or 85."

He laced his hands through mine and touched his forehead to mine as he said, "The only window into your soul that's opened to me is your heart. I listen for any flutter, any small change to gain some indication of what you are feeling, how I can make you happier, what you need." His voice was agonized as he said, "What choice do I have? I cannot be without you, but I cannot destroy your soul. I cannot make your heart stop beating. I can't."

Very softly I said, "And you can't give me all of you, you have to keep yourself at a safe distance. Your wall won't come down _unless_ I am a vampire."

We both stood there in silence. The wind was getting stronger. It was obvious a storm was coming. Our foreheads were touching, our hands were still laced together, but our dreams for our life together were miles apart.

I knew he loved me. There had to be some way to solve this. Some way to make this work. Being without him wasn't an option for me. He was as essential to my life as air.

"Before, you said you would change me on the condition that I marry you first, you must stick to your end of the promise." I said.

"I am hoping that at the end of five years we will have found a solution." He answered.

"Edward, I can't base my future on a hope." I whispered bleakly.

He was silent.

"Edward, you gave me a ring. You asked me to marry you. I am going to wear this ring and hold you to your promise. Please, let's do this now. I'm graduated. There's nothing to stop us. Let's get married and change me before something happens. You said yourself, what we have is precious."

I searched his eyes, begging him to please look at things as they really were.

His features were set. His eyes determined and unchanging. We were still at this place. Still left at an impasse.

The rain started to fall and in the distance, I could hear thunder.

**I am cringing to know what you all thought of this chapter. Did you like the Chocoloate Mousse Scene? I really liked that one. Next Chapter - Tuesday**


	15. Fireworks

**Okay, this is a funner chapter. It has some humor and lightness, because after this . . .well, like I said, if you have hats, hold on to them**.

**I haven't heard anyone say if they saw Taylor Kitsch on the twiilght fansite called "Movie Casting Site." really, you must check it out.**

**I must say I breathed a ligh of relief on the last chapter's reviews. Thank you so much for liking the proposal and chocolate scene. I thought you would all think Bella was ooc for wanting to marry him. You are all so nice - too nice.**

For a month, Edward and I had been operating on an unspoken rule of not talking about our impasse. During the day, I kept my ring in a safe place. But at night, I would l put it on and stare at it. I slept with it. I wanted Edward to see it. I wanted him to have to look at it all night long and realize how much we could have. This ring symbolized, for me, everything that I would ever want and need for eternity.

Edward had been accepted to just about every Ivy League college in the nation. By pulling strings, strings that had a lot of money on them, he had got me accepted at Dartmouth. There were a few smaller schools I had acceptance letters from, such as University of Alaska Southeast. This was my choice, it was far away, rained a lot, and was just desolate enough of a place to allow me to have a quiet first year as a vampire. But, at this point, I wasn't holding my breath. Edward would win at the holding breath game anyway. We had two weeks to decide. Two weeks was going to come fast. We were nowhere close to a decision.

I was at the Cullen house. I was sitting in the living room with Esme. She had brought in some fresh flowers and I was helping her arrange them in vases. I had never seen anyone who was capable of growing flowers as beautiful and exotic as Esme's. Edward was hunting with Jasper and would be home anytime. As always, I was so anxious to see him. I had been without him last night, and my mind had gone crazy with all my fears about my uncertain future.

I was lost in thought when I heard Esme chuckle. I looked up to see her staring at me. She laughed again. "You must be thinking about something very important, " she said. "I called your name twice."

I smiled weakly. "Oh, yes . . . .I'm sorry. Did you want to say something?"

Her hands paused on the flower she was working with as she watched me with a thoughtful expression. Her eyes were so warm. Her smile was so calming as she put her hand out to me and said, "Why don't we stop this for a while and have a talk."

She guided me to a nearby couch and sat down. I followed reluctantly. I didn't know how much Esme knew about all this, if anything. If Edward knew I'd talked to her he would probably be very angry.

She stared at me with her beautiful eyes and said, "Bella, I know you and Edward are trying to work through what will ultimately be the most important decision the two of you will make together."

I was glad she knew. I sighed as I said, "Yes, we are." I desperately needed someone to talk to about this. I had no one to turn to. I certainly couldn't talk to my own mother. I stared at her and felt the tears fill my eyes.

She put her hand on my shoulder as she said, "Dearest Bella, I have always hoped he would find someone who would love him as much as you obviously do."

"Oh, loving him has never been the problem," I blurted out with my tear stained face, "It was the easiest thing I've ever done. The hard part has been trying to keep him."

Esme looked at me puzzled. "I don't understand."

My arms went around my middle as I said, "From the very beginning, he was drawing me in with one hand and pushing me away and telling me how dangerous he was with the other. All I ever wanted was him, and now he has just found another way to draw me in and push me away." I reached into my pocket and pulled out my ring. I sighed as I put it on my finger. I flexed my fingers and stared at it.

Esme smiled and said, "It is beautiful isn't it? Edward was so excited to show it to me when he brought it home. I told him it was perfect for you."

"Esme," I said shyly, "I . . . has Edward told you everything about our . . . disagreement?"

She looked at me and said flatly, "Yes. And Bella, I want you to know that I believe you are a strong and intelligent young woman capable of making this ever important decision. I have told him that." She touched my arm and said, "You must now how hard this is for him. He sees the relationships of his brothers and sisters and he very much wants that for both of you."

"Does he really?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes, of course," she said with a surprised look on her face.

"Esme, he refuses to even discuss the idea of changing me. It is killing me inside. He wants us to be married, but have me stay human. There is no way that would work, he knows it, but he won't bend." I started crying harder. "He is pushing me away, and I don't want to go." I put my head down and began to sob.

She pulled me over to her and I laid my head on her shoulder. I cried for a moment then I heard her sigh as she said, "Flexibility has never been one of Edward's strengths." I laughed sarcastically at that. Having her hold me made me feel better, but it also made me ache to be part of this family.

"There is still hope, Bella. She said reassuringly. We are all working on him. Trust me." She patted my back. "You must know that all his fears are out of love and concern for you." I nodded my head. "I know," I said.

I pulled back to look at her. "I just wish Edward had as much faith in me as Carlisle had in you when he changed you."

She laughed, "In the beginning, things between Carlisle and I were much different than they are now."

I looked at her puzzled.

"We were both very attracted to each other, but there were problems. I was near death when he changed me, I did not have the luxury of giving my consent, and for a few months, I was very angry. Of course, I took it all out on him. He, on the other hand, felt guilty for changing me. Always unsure of how to approach me, how to talk to me. It was a long while before we could admit our love for each other and put all the nonsense behind us."

I was surprised at her story. She and Carlisle were absolutely perfect together. I suppose it was naïve of me to think it was always like that. I reached forward and touched her hand and said, "Oh Esme, I want Edward and I to have what you and Carlisle have."

She smiled and her eyes gleamed as she said, "Be patient. Edward will realize that changing you doesn't make him more of a monster, it doesn't mean he is selfish. It just means that he wants the two of you to be partners and equal, loving one another with a great joy, forever."

My heart actually burned when she said that to me.

Edward came home shortly after Esme and I had finished our talk. I was in a better mood after speaking to her, and Edward could see it on my face. He walked in and saw me smiling and came right over and hugged me and kissed me. He grabbed my hand and led me to his room.

He put in some music and came to sit by me on the couch. We sat in silence with me on his lap, my face nestled in his neck. I think we listened to a whole CD just holding each other.

At work the night before, I had seen a flyer for the 4th of July Fireworks in Port Angeles. I hadn't been to a fireworks show for a long time. Probably since I was a little kid spending my summer with Charlie. I had always loved that part of my summer. I was always amazed how they shot the fireworks from a barge out in the ocean. I was hoping to convince Edward that we should go.

I sat up and looked at him. He turned to answer my gaze with an expectant look on his face. "How would you like to go to Port Angeles for the 4th of July and see the fireworks?" He had a look of surprise as he said, "I haven't been to see fireworks in a long time. I don't remember much about it."

"Well, basically, you just sit there and look up at the sky and say "ooh" and "aah". When was the last time you saw fireworks?" I asked.

He narrowed his eyes and thought about it for a second and then said, "I guess it was in New York City in 1945 right after World War II ended. There was a huge parade and celebration and they launched fireworks over the Statue of Liberty."

I just stared at him and blinked a few times. "Okaaayyy, the fireworks show in Port Angeles I can pretty much guarantee won't be anything like the last one you saw, but it would be fun." I smiled and said, "It's definitely one of the human things you're always trying to get me to do." I knew that would get him. He smiled and said, "Sure, let's go."

I had to work in the morning, because apparently the 4th of July is a big hiking day. Who knew? I had been watching the sky all day and was glad to see the clouds still hanging low. We were on the road by 4:00 in the afternoon. Plenty of time to take in all the festivities. There were booths set up and cotton candy and caramel apples. Edward turned his nose up at all the smells. I looked at him with a very serious look on my face and said, "Do you know what every girlfriend/fiancee needs?"

He looked at me warily and said, "What?"

"A freakishly large stuffed animal that was won by her boyfriend/fiancee from a booth at a carnival." I plastered a huge smile on my face.

His eyebrow went up and he looked at me and said, "Are you serious?"

I raised my own eyebrow and said, "Extremely."

He put his arm out and motioned for me to put my arm through his as he guided me towards the booths. "Far be it from me to mess with such an important ritual," He said with mock solemnity.

Edward looked the games over. There was the milk bottle toss, the throw the dime in the dish game, and the squirt the water in the clown's mouth. But he didn't see one that interested him until we came to the hammer. The ol' test your strength by hitting the exact spot with a large hammer and watch the lights go up the tower game. Edward smiled at me smugly. "Pick out your favorite freakishly large animal now, my fair maiden, for it will soon be yours." I was completely laughing as he sauntered up to the man and gave him a dollar for two tries.

"Okay," The big sweaty guy with tattoos all over his arms said, "You get two tries to reach the top up there at #50. If you reach the top, you get a glitter pen. If you want to keep playing, you have the option to trade in your prize for the next one up." Edward confidently nodded his head and grabbed the hammer. Holding on to the hammer with one hand he slammed it down on the buzzer using, I'm sure, not even 1/100 of his strength. The light went to #11.

Edward stared incredulously at the tower. He grabbed the hammer and slammed it down much harder. The lights shot up to #22. He stared at the guy. "This game is completely rigged!" he scoffed.

"No it ain't," the guy said while sliding his cigarette from one side of his mouth to the other.

Edward handed the man another dollar and grabbed the hammer in both hands and slammed it down. The lights shot up to #40.

The man stood up off his chair and said, "Whoa. I ain't ever seen that thing go up to #40 before."

Edward slammed the hammer down hard and the tower lit up at #50. "Wow!" the man said. "You're stronger than you look, kid. Which color glitter pen d'ya want?"

Edward looked at him and said, "How many tries will it take to get the big stuffed animal?"

The man computed in his head and said, "Fourteen tries." Edward handed the man 10 dollars and said, "You can keep the change," and began hammering. Fourteen times the lights shot up to #50. I clapped heartily and chose the 5 foot Tweety Bird.

Edward walked over to me with a grin on his face and handed me the freakishly large yellow bird. I hugged him, Tweety bird that is, and then planted a kiss on my strong man.

We walked away and left the man staring after Edward.

When it began to get dark. We went to pick out our spot to watch the fireworks. Children were running around with sparklers and families were spread out on blankets eating watermelon and potato salad. There were popping sounds as kids shot off their own small fireworks.

Edward looked around as we sat on our blanket and said wistfully, "You're right. This is a very human thing." I stared at him. Not sure what of anything I could say. He watched the children throwing footballs to their fathers and grandparents holding babies and he stared at them in wonder. A group of boys walked by with baseball caps on and mitts on their hands. One had a bat over his shoulder. So softly that I barely heard him he said, "I liked to play baseball, I remember that."

I came behind him and wrapped my arms around his middle and brought my hands onto his chest. I rested my face by his neck. I stayed there, silent. I tried to picture what he must have been like as a human. I tried but I couldn't. I couldn't picture him any other way than he was right now. My archangel.

The fireworks began. We looked up at them and we picked out the ones that were our favorites. I always liked the shimmery gold ones best that glittered after they exploded. Edward liked the ones that shot out with two different colors in them. After about 10 minutes, it started to rain and the fireworks stopped. Some people got mad and shouted out "What about the finale?"

Edward turned to me and said, "Let's make our own finale." His lips were on mine then. I relaxed into his arms and kissed him softly and slowly; the rain falling on our face. All of the sudden, Edward's lips went tight. He pulled away and began looking around, then his gaze fixed on something almost directly in front of us. I watched his eyes narrow and his muscles flex and I followed his gaze to see what was troubling him. Then, I saw the trouble.

About fifty feet away stood Sam and Jacob. Sam was standing with his arms folded and his eyes glaring directly at us. Jacob was farther back. I couldn't see his face very well in the darkness. Sam sauntered over to us. He had the look of a snake that was charming his victim into death. But, when he reached us, a light smile appeared on his face and his voice was calm.

"The two of you seem to be enjoying yourselves," he said.

We stared at him not quite sure where this was all going. Around us people were packing up their things and heading to their cars.

Sam turned his head to me and said, "Bella, I never thanked you for coming to Emily's funeral." His eyes were so cold, dead.

I nodded my head as I tried to find my voice and said, "She was a wonderful person. I miss her very much."

Sam swallowed hard and said flatly, "Yes."

Sam turned his face to Edward. His voice actually sounded appealing as he said, "I understand that your clan has big moving plans at the end of the summer. We'll be looking forward to that."

Edward did nothing but glare at him.

Sam looked back at me. He nodded his head in farewell. He nodded his head once at Edward. Their eyes met for a brief moment, then he slowly turned and walked away.

I relaxed and let out a sigh of relief. Edward, however was a different story. His hands were in tight balls and the veins in his arms were bulging. He was swallowing hard and his jaw was clenched. I then saw his eyes flash to where Jacob was standing and his eyes narrowed. I knew Jacob's thoughts were screaming in his head. Edward went into a crouch and his teeth clacked together.

I was furious. We hadn't been doing anything but sitting here watching fireworks. I started to head for Jacob to tell him to stop this, but Edward grabbed me in a vice grip. I winced from the pressure on my wrist, but he didn't lessen his hold on me. He just stood there for immeasurable seconds listening to everything Jacob had to say. I was staring at Jake. But, he wasn't looking at me. All of his attention was on Edward at the moment. Was he trying to start another fight with Edward?

"Jake!" I yelled. His eyes flitted over to me and then went back to Edward. "Jake, you promised!" I yelled. I saw him grit his teeth and start to shake. There were still a few people close enough to see what was happening. I knew he would never phase here, but he was angry. He finally turned back to me and in his eyes I saw a longing, an aching, that made me feel compassion for him.

"Jake," I whispered. He looked at Edward once more, and his face was ablaze with hate. I don't know what he said to Edward, but I saw the reaction. Edward pulled me behind him and a menacing growl simmered in his throat. His teeth clacked once more, and I watched his back muscles arch and flex.

"No Edward," I demanded. I stepped out from behind him just far enough to see Jake taking a step backward. He gazed at me one more time, and starting walking away.

Finally, Edward began pulling me towards the car. I stumbled while grabbing the blanket and Edward slowed just long enough for me to balance myself, then he was pulling me to the car again.

When we were finally inside, Edward gripped the steering wheel and his knuckles were white. His eyes were black pools of hate and anger. The muscles in his jaw were working. He pulled swiftly out on the road and began weaving around cars to get on the highway.

"I want us to leave for school as soon as possible." He said darkly. "Instead of waiting until the end of the summer, I want us gone before the month is over."

"What did Jacob say?" I said softly.

Edward did not look at me. He eyes were locked on the road. "Edward, are we in danger?"

Edward's eyes flitted over to me for no more than a second, then they were back on the road. "I just want to play it safe," he said.

I snorted. "Please don't try to protect me. Tell me what happened back there."

Edward did not say anything until we were safely on the highway. "When I was kissing you, Sam's thoughts came into my mind. But, it wasn't with words, it was with a vision of Emily. I've never seen her before, but I can assume with the large scar on her face and the way Sam's thoughts were speaking of her, it could only be Emily. " Edward swallowed hard. "He is in deep pain over her death."

"What about Jake," I whispered.

Edward's eyes narrowed again. "It's as I said before. It's not over for him," he stated flatly.

Edward reached for my hand. In a much softer, but still urgent voice he said, "How soon can you arrange your affairs here concerning work and Charlie? I would like us to be gone in three weeks."

"We need to choose the school," I said.

Edward's eyes stared out at the road. "Yes, we do."

I looked out my window. Three weeks. Three weeks until I had Edward all to myself. No more werewolves or curfews. It would be easier, I thought, to convince him to change me once we were alone at school. Three weeks, and then we would be safe.

**This site is supposed to shut down for like an hour today. If you can't review when you read, will you try to come back and review later? I have this sick fantasy that I will get to 300 reviews before I'm done. Apparently, I have acceptance issues. Thanks for reading!! and reviewing!!**

**Oh, I have a profile up now. My friend was here on and she said it was rude if I didn't do it. I said who cares about my profile? Anyway, she won. I wrote it late into the night, so it probably doens't make any sense. For the 1 person out there who will want to read it . . .It's there!**


	16. Monster

**Okay, from here on out, things are going to get a little, well . . . I hope you like my story. **

**As always, thank you, thank you for reading. I have the best people reading my story, I just know it.**

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One of the things that still sticks in my mind about that day, is how normal it all began. Mike and Angela found out Edward and I were leaving and they wanted to give me a little send off party. They had arranged for everyone to ride on float tubes down the river. At the end of the ride, we would cook hot dogs on the fire. I was originally against the idea, but Mike had mentioned it once while Edward was helping us close up the store one night. Mike had even been nice enough to invite Edward. He had politely declined, but then insisted right in front of Mike that I go. So, I was stuck.

The day Mike had chosen was actually the perfect day. I awoke to see thin non-threatening clouds in the sky. The sun was shining bravely, especially for Forks.

I had to side step the boxes in my room. I was all packed and ready to leave for school. It was clear how excited I was to be leaving with Edward. Just three more days, I thought excitedly. I had been counting down for the last two weeks.

Edward and I didn't do a lot of swimming, so I had not purchased a bathing suit since coming here. A few days earlier while packing, way down in my closet, I'd found the blue bikini that I used to wear in Phoenix. Amazingly enough, it still fit. I put it on that morning, threw on my long shirt cover-up, packed some snacks and a few other things in my bag and headed off to meet Mike, Angela and Ben.

It wasn't until I was half-way there that I noticed I was still wearing my engagement ring. "Holy Crow!" I burst out. I took off the ring and put it in an inside pocket off my bag.

There was actually a crowd of about 15 kids gathering at the Newton's store. I scanned the group to see if Lauren was among them. I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief to see that she wasn't there.

As we floated down the river, Mike kept his tube as close to mine as possible. I was actually relieved. I had never done this before and I wasn't entirely sure that my particular float tube was sea worthy. But soon enough, I got the hang of it and I settled down in my tube, my back touching the cool water, and lazily closed my eyes.

My thoughts turned, of course, to Edward. The Cullen family had begun to prepare for leaving. It was hard for me to think that the beautiful house would be empty. That the yard wouldn't be filled with flowers. No one would be there again for perhaps 80 years. I cringed at the thought. The Cullens hadn't done anything, but they were the ones that were being forced away. I hated the injustice of it all.

I tried to vent my frustrations of the situation to Carlisle one day. While helping him and Esme pack up a few breakable things, all he would say was, "It doesn't matter where we are, as long as we are together." He patted my shoulder and said, "It was time for us to be moving on anyway."

Carlisle and Esme were already gone. Carlisle had negotiated to have his contract with the hospital end the second week in July. They had gone early to get the house ready for us all to move in. Emmett and Rosalie were leaving for Europe in two weeks, and Alice and Jasper were also gone. They had left the day before for a months vacation in New Zealand.

The whole family had plans to meet in New Hampshire. Edward and I had decided to attend Dartmouth. He said that it was about as typical a college experience as I could ask for. I liked the sound of that. If he wanted me to immerse myself in typical human experiences for a while, I would gladly go to Dartmouth. I would get all these human things done so he could change me.

Edward had arranged night classes. I would be attending day classes. I did have one night class with him, but most of Edward's classes were way out of my league. Carlisle had hired on with a hospital in town, and the rest of the family had plans that would keep them close by. I was so happy to know that we would all be together.

Mike broke me out of my thoughts by splashing me with water. I answered his attack by kicking a spray of water at his face. It evolved into a full-out water fight involving everyone. I managed to hold my own, but I was completely drenched.

Mike's dad, and one other parent had driven the vehicles down to where we planned to stop. I checked my bag as soon as we got there just to make sure my ring was safe. Then, I grabbed my towel and found a log to sit on while the boys started the fire.

I had good conversations with just about everyone. They were impressed Edward and I were attending Dartmouth. Many of them were going to good schools, but nothing quite so prestigious. I had to swallow at the embarrassment that if they only knew, if I only knew, how much Edward had to "donate" to make this all happen, they wouldn't be quite so impressed.

I realized that, if I had my way and Edward changed me, I would probably never see any of these people again. It created a small lump in my throat, but only a small one. I would have my angel. This group of kids would never be able to compete with that.

In late afternoon, we were driven back to the store to get our cars. Mike had been very well behaved all day. I thanked him and began walking to the truck when he started to follow me. "Hey, Bella, thanks for coming today," he said.

"No Mike, like I said before, thank _you_. I had a really great time." I wasn't lying. I really did have a great time.

Mike was nervously shuffling his feet as I climbed in the truck. When I got seated, he said, "Good luck at school, and everything."

"Good luck to you too Mike," I said sincerely. He was heading to Washington State.

Mike was looking down as he said, "Hey, when you are in town, or if things don't work out with Cullen, look me up, okay? My parents will still be here, they'll know where to find me." That had probably taken some courage to say that, so I didn't want to be completely brutal, but still, I had never given him the slightest hint that I was in anyway interested. I let out a small sigh. "Thanks for the great day, Mike." I smiled and waved as I drove away.

I was anxious to see Edward. He had been hunting last night. His last hunting trip before we left. I reached into my bag and got out my ring and put it on. I watched it shimmer and sparkle in the sunlight as I drove.

My stomach had been doing small flips for the past week. Edward and I would be at college together. Starting our future. Once we were established out there, I was going to hit this changing thing full blast. After all, Edward wasn't the only vampire I knew. I was going to put it to a vote with the whole family, and start negotiations. I fully planned that no longer than a year from now, all this nonsense would over with. As always, I felt a rush just to imagine what it be like to finally be able to run beside him, hunt with him, hold him so tightly it took his breath away. . . I had been daydreaming so long I didn't even notice that the Cullens turn off was so close. I had to slam on my brakes and turn sharply to make it.

At the end of the long drive I looked for Edward to come and meet me as he usually did, but I didn't see any signs that anyone was home. I rang the bell but no one answered. The door was unlocked so I walked in and decided I would just wait in Edward's room for him to return. The Cullens never minded, they already considered me part of the family.

The plan was for me to take a shower here and then Edward and I were going to pack his room. I was sure he could do it himself in an unimaginably short period of time, but I asked if I could help, and he seemed so pleased that I would want to help him.

I walked into Edward's room and laid on his couch for a few minutes. I was a little tired from all the sun I'd had, and his leather couch felt so nice and cool. My eyes were still closed when I heard a noise in the back yard. I rose from the couch, and went to his large window and what I saw took my breath away.

Edward was walking out of the forest with his shirt off. He was carrying a very large amount of dead brush and branches across the yard, and I watched him as he dropped the load off on the side of the house. Behind him came Emmett carrying another load. What took my breath away, aside from Edward's beauty, was how his body sparkled. The sun was setting and the reflection of the sun on his body made ruby tinged sparkles flecked with gold.

My head leaned against the window as my heartbeat quickened at the sight. What did I ever do to receive this perfect gift in my life? I watched as he said something to Emmett and then a huge smile spread across his face. It was the smile of an angel. He was luminous. He was achingly beautiful. The emotions he stirred in me were so powerful. Having him forever was all I would ever ask from this life. "Oh Edward, I love you so," I sighed.

I watched as both of them walked back into the dense growth at the end of the yard. I knew this was the time for me to take a shower. I blinked to clear my head. I took off my cover-up and sandals and grabbed my bag.

Just as I was heading out of the room, a pile of CDs Edward had just bought caught my eye. As I looked through the stack, I saw one I had mentioned to him I would love to buy. I smiled. It wasn't a group Edward was particularly fond of, but I made the deal I would get to be in charge of the radio half of the way to New Hampshire. I was reading the back and looking for the songs I knew when suddenly Edward was standing in front of me in his doorway.

His shirt was still off, it was laying over his shoulder. I was staring at his beautiful chest when I stole a look into his eyes. He wasn't looking at my face. I remembered I was in my bikini. I began to blush furiously and instinctively wrapped my hands around my body.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I was just heading to the shower. . ."

"No," his velvet voice was pleading. "Just stay for a minute."

He walked in very slowly. It was as if he thought I might run away if he moved too quickly. He dropped his shirt to the ground as he walked to me and kissed my shoulder. His face stayed there and his eyes were closed as I slowly felt his hands run up my spine. I remembered the first time he had done that, the day after our first time in the meadow. I had fainted in his arms. . . I wasn't so sure the same thing might not happen now.

He touched his forehead to mine and I felt his fingertips ever so lightly run down my sides. And then, I felt his fingers brush across my stomach. The sensation caused the muscles in my stomach to contract, I could feel his breath catch, and then he was touching me again.

I was trying so hard to be good. I had my hands resting on his forearms. _Stick to the rules, stick to the rules_, I kept thinking. Then his hands grasped me tightly on each of my sides and pulled me to him.

His breath was quickening and his lips were running across my forehead. I felt dangerously close to fainting.

"Please, let me touch you," I whispered.

I felt him nod his head.

I wrapped my arms around him and ran my nails softly down his back. I could feel his curves. His cold skin reacted to my touch. I ran my lips across his chest. Then I kissed his marble skin. I could feel my hot breath against his chest. I heard him try to swallow, but it came out strangled.

"Bella," he whispered desperately. Then he whirled me around so that I was against his door. It closed as he pushed me against it. He grabbed my hands in his and lifted them above my head as he pressed himself against me.

My breath was coming out in ragged gasps. I was staring at his eyes. They were intense and deep brown. I wanted so much to kiss him. I looked down at his lips and I saw his eyes close. He laid his forehead against mine and I felt one of his arms coming down to the doorknob. I thought he was going to let me go. Then, I saw him grab the latch, and lock the door.

His lips were on mine hard then. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me. I could feel his cold hands on my back. Without taking his lips from me he backed away from the wall and guided me to the rug and gently laid us both down.

His weight was on me and I wrapped my hands around his back. He was looking at me. I could see fear and longing in his face. Then before I could restrain myself I said breathlessly, "Please don't stop. I want you to hear what my heart can do only for you."

His lips were on mine again. I felt his mouth open and his tongue touched mine for a brief moment, then he pulled it away. I wanted to cry out, but I didn't want him to stop. I wanted this to last as long as it possibly could.

I wrapped myself all around him and I felt his hand on my thigh pulling me closer to him. Then, his lips were on my neck. I felt my straps fall down my arms as he kissed my shoulders. Our breathing was erratic. He was becoming more insistent and I held him as tightly to me as I could.

Then, I heard a sound that at first was like a purr. But as it came closer to the surface, I realized it was a low growl. Immediately his hand was on the side of my jaw turning my face away from him, and I could feel his tongue run from my collarbone all the way behind my ear.

Everything from there happened so fast. I felt his cold breath against the skin on my neck and the low purring sound again. His hand was still holding my jaw as I heard a low moan and then his teeth clacked together, then on my neck I felt a strange pressure.

My legs were wrapped around him and my hands were in his hair and on his back, and then without me seeing it, he was gone.

I blinked against the shock and sat up. I pulled one of my straps up as I reached up over the couch to see where he went. I found him.

He had launched himself the full length of the room. He had his back to the wall with his knees curled up grasping for the carpet, the wall - anything that would keep him from coming closer to me.

At first, I misunderstood. I just thought he had hit the point where he knew he had to stop, but this was something much, much worse. His eyes were black and wild and crazed. His veins were bulging with venom. He was gritting his teeth together with all his might, biting down hard against the pain of fighting the venom back down.

I began to walk towards him, but his eyes got wide and frightened and he shook his head and grunted through his teeth, "Go!" I stopped dead in my tracks as I felt the hair on my neck stand up. He arched his back and I saw him force himself to roll in a ball. I grabbed my bag, shoes, and cover-up and stumbled out into the hall as I closed the door behind me. As soon as the door shut, I felt Edward slam into the door. I jumped back into the hall as I screamed. I put my hands over my mouth to stop myself from screaming again and I heard Edward grunt, "Leave, Bella . . .run!" I grabbed my things and began tearing down the stairs. As I ran, I could hear a mournful, agonized roar. The tears were streaming down my face as I remembered the words Edward had said to me the first time I came here.

"_I know that at some point, something I tell you or something you see is going to be too much. And then you'll run away from me screaming as you go."_

**Okay. . . what do you think? Let me have it. Thanks again for reading my story. I am going to be renewing pretty fast now. See ya tomorrow.**


	17. The Gathering

**This is one of my shortest chapters, but I had to end it where I did. I want to thank eveyone for the reviews of the last chapter. Wow. You guys are just so amazing. I was so worried you would all be angry. Thank you for coming on this ride with me. Are you still holding on to your hats? **

**I never give a playlist. I listen to music when I write, but this time it fits so well. You know how in movies the music never comes until the exciting parts? Cue the music: Both are by Muse. Time is Running Out (you will suck the life out of me) and Hysteria. **

**This is Bella's POV - There will be an Edward POV soon.**

I ran out the front door and looked at my truck. I could not make myself drive away from here. I turned and looked back up the stairs. I didn't see him, but I knew how fast he could move. I thought about all he demonstrated to me in the meadow and I shuddered. There was no place I could go that he would not find me. My scent would guide him straight to me. I heard a noise and didn't look back to see what it was, I just ran. I took off running right through the trees with no idea where I was going. It was almost dark and I was sobbing. I pushed leaves and ferns out of my way. I tripped over massive tree roots. I ran until my lungs were burning and I couldn't see any farther into the dense overgrowth. This was bad. If Edward got upset about Jasper coming after me from a paper cut, I had no idea what he would do now.

What must he be thinking of himself right now? He was suffering. How did this happen? I should have stuck to the rules. I sat on a log with my head in my hands. He was always so frightened of this happening. I remembered how fearful he was the first time he took me to the meadow. _I_ _don't want you to be afraid_, he'd said. I had fought him every time he said he was a monster. How would I ever make him believe he was my angel now?

I remember how proud he'd been when he was able to fight off his urges when I went out of control the first time he kissed me. His musical laugh weaved through my thoughts, "_I'm stronger than I thought, it's nice to_ _know." _I turned to see if he was behind me.

I put my head in my hands and cried harder. I was aching for what he must be going through right now. This could ruin everything. I was so stupid. I let myself play right next to the fire when I should have stayed a safe distance away. He tried to warn me. I just kept pushing him.

Why did I run? He never would have hurt me.

Something in me told me I was lying to myself.

After I stopped shaking, I took a deep breath. I would not let Edward go through this alone. I stood up. He had to be calmed down by now. I hoped he was calmed down. I shakily began walking back to the house. I would find him and tell him it was mostly my fault, that I loved him more than anything and that this was another good reason for him changing. . .maybe I wouldn't bring that last point up tonight.

I had taken maybe three steps when I heard someone behind me, "Hello Bella." I whirled around completely taken by surprise. Then fear gripped me. I knew that voice. It was Sam.

"What are you doing out in the woods all alone?" he questioned. "The woods are a dangerous place, especially at night."

I began to back up. This was a different fear entirely. The last time I'd felt this fear was when Laurent almost killed me. But, ironically enough, Sam and the others had saved me. I wasn't sure I would be so lucky this time.

Sam caught up to me easily and grabbed my arm. "What's the matter, Bella? You don't seem pleased to see me?"

I tried to play along. "Y . .. you just startled me is all."

"Well, you didn't startle me," he said with charm. "For, you see, I have been watching you. Just patiently waiting for a chance to speak with you." He gave me a wicked grin as he said, "I never expected to have the situation in which you were delivered into my hands be quite so perfect. I have an arrangement I would like to discuss with you. Only unlike last time, I believe you will see things my way."

My heart began to thump hard in my chest. If I cried out, would Edward hear me from here? I didn't know how far I ran, but I knew it wasn't far enough away that Edward would not be able to hear me. I screamed for him. In an instant Sam had his hand over my mouth, and we were running.

I struggled hard to get away, but after a few minutes of trying, I knew it was useless. He was running so fast, that I had no idea where we were anymore. Finally, I could feel him slowing down. He came to a stop in the trees, close to the top of a hill. He dropped me roughly and said, "Now, we can talk."

I got to my feet and said, "Sam, we are leaving in three days. Half of the Cullens are already gone, and Rosalie and Emmett will be leaving soon after us. There is no reason for any of this."

Sam glared at me as he said, "Oh, but there is a reason, a very good reason." He swallowed hard and said, "The reason is Emily."

"Emily?" I questioned.

"Cullen took her from me. He will not leave here without paying dearly for it," he spat out.

I was so afraid. "Edward never even met Emily! It's your fault that I was there that night. If you had just let me go home, nothing ever would have happened."

"Enough of this," he growled. "Edward took Emily away from me, and I will take you away from him."

"You're going to kill me?" My voice sounded very thin.

"No, you're leaving." He said bitterly.

"I won't go." I said flatly.

"Oh, I think you will." He said it with so much confidence. It scared me.

"Please let me go Sam, everything has been calm. We thought there was no trouble."

He got a smirk on is face. "There's nothing like lulling your enemy into complacency to get you want."

I started to back up. "Your plan won't work. . . he'll come after me just like before."

"Not this time," he smiled. "This time, you're going to _send_ him away." He chuckled. "Trust me, after you tell him the things I've planned for you to say, he won't come after you. He won't be saving you."

I felt the first strings of panic.

Sam looked at me and his eyes were murderous. "I want the leech to suffer with more than just your death. I want him to know you're out there somewhere, but that he can't have you. If he knows you no longer love him, he will stay away from Forks and we'll never allow his kind here again."

I had to talk Sam out of this horrible plan. I looked him right in the face and said, "I'll never do it. Edward would _never_ believe I didn't love him."

He chuckled darkly. "Then we'll kill him. We'll kill them all."

"You didn't do so well against them last time," I scoffed.

His eyes bore into me. "If there is one thing that can be said about me, it's that I learn from my mistakes."

I was near hysteria. My heart was racing. He grabbed my arm and said, "Come, take a walk with me, I want to show you something." We walked the few steps that brought us almost to the top of the hill, and then he stopped and turned to me and said, "You will do exactly what I say, you will send your bloodsucker away tonight, or I will unleash this on him and his entire family."

He pulled me up to the top of the hill. I looked down the other side and I heard a cry escape my lips. In the sprawling grassland was a massive bonfire. Around the fire there was dancing and growling. It was a terrifying scene. My eyes could hardly take it all in. Now I understood. All the air left my body and I fell to my knees. I swallowed against the pain, and then I said the words he'd been waiting for, "I'll do whatever you want, Sam." I began to cry softly. Through my tears, I stared out at the huge clearing that was overflowing with werewolves.

**Let me know what you think! You guys are the best! Next chapter tomorrow**.


	18. Deception

**I stumbled out of bed this morning and turned on my computer . . . you won't believe what I saw!!! 304 Reviews!!! "Slap me thrice and throw me to my mother" (That's from the new Pirates of the Caribbbean movie). I really did mean it when I said that the best people are reading my story. You guys are so great. Thank you so much. Reviews are the only way to know what you guys think. It is the best reward and I love every single one. Okay, here we go! I am not going to put up the next chapter until Monday. Tomorrow is Father's Day and everybody will be busy doing other things. ( I have my dad and then two grandpas to go visit.) And, the next chapter is really special to me. It is in Edward's POV. **

**Thanks again guys! Love ya. - **

Sam had dragged me down the hill while I struggled to come to terms with how fast everything had changed. I had been floating down a river this morning. I had been in Edward's arms a short time ago, and now I was walking past a terrifying swarm of werewolves while I prepared to tell Edward good-bye.

As he pulled me past the gathering, I frantically scanned through those that were closest to me looking for the russet-colored werewolf I used to know so well. I didn't see him.

"Where's Jake?" I choked out.

Sam looked disgusted. "He is not the brother I believed him to be." I was encouraged by that news.

"He isn't here?" I cried.

Sam would not say anything else.

Sam hauled me into a small shack that was near the clearing. I was trying to form a plan. Some way for me to leave here, to get away, when Sam forced me down into a chair. He went over to a small table and picked up a paper and tossed it at me.

"This is a list of the things you'll be saying to the leech. Feel free to add your own little touches to make it believable," he smirked.

I looked down at the paper and I started to shake. I was aghast. "Please don't make me say these things, Sam." I was choking on my sobs.

He said nothing.

I was horrified at the things he wanted me to say to Edward. I whispered weakly, "This is cruel. Please I beg you, don't make me say this to him."

He whirled on me and screamed, "Cruel is seeing your true love's bones burned and blackened! You will get no mercy from me!"

I was leaning over in my chair and wincing from his screams. I did not know he was capable of such rage.

I held the paper up to his face. "How do you even know any of this?" I choked out. The things on the paper were private things he had no way of knowing.

"I make it a point to learn all I can about my enemies," he said proudly.

"Sam," I felt so weak. "Just kill me. I won't say these things to Edward."

"I could, I suppose." He was shrugging his shoulders as he walked around my chair. "Though it isn't in my nature to kill humans. But, if I did kill you, I would then turn all my friends here on your bloodsucker and his family anyway."

"Half of the Cullens aren't even here," I spat out.

In a very quiet voice, he started reciting an address. I realized with widened eyes that it was the address of our new house in New Hampshire. I whipped my eyes up at him and he smiled. "It is a lovely place. You would have loved it there. Very secluded, like their house here."

He bent down into my face and said, "You see Bella, there is no place your living corpses can go, that I won't find them. You tell him the things on that paper tonight so I can watch him squirm and writhe in his misery, and they all live. Refuse, and I won't stop until every last one of them are hunted down and killed."

I had no choice. My mind was racing with what this all meant.

"There's more to the show," he said. "You will be leaving tomorrow. You will tell Charlie that you decided against Dartmouth with Edward, something that will probably thrill your father, and you will tell him you will now be attending the University of Arizona."

"But, I was never accepted at that school," I croaked.

Sam looked at me as if I was missing something important. "You will not actually be going there. It is to throw the Cullens off your trail. It has to look convincing that you started a new life."

"Why can't I just stay in Forks with Charlie?"

He smiled at me like I was a child. "I know that as soon as this ordeal was over, you would find a way to tell Edward what happened. This way, his heart will be broken, he will not come back to Forks, and you will never become a vampire. It just works so nicely doesn't it?"

"How long will you keep me?" I said wearily.

"As long as it takes for me to see that Edward has suffered, and knows you won't be coming back. You will never be allowed near him again."

What did it matter? If I didn't have my angel, I didn't care what happened to me. I didn't care where he sent me, or how long he kept me. I was struggling to come to grips with the new knowledge that my life went from being filled with great promise and happiness, to wanting nothing but oblivion . . .extinction.

Sam headed for the door. "I will be back shortly," he barked. He turned back to me and said, "I should think the meadow would be the perfect place to have your little discussion with Edward, don't you agree?" I sucked in air. "He will find a message saying that you will be meeting him there in half an hour." He started to walk out the door, when he turned again and said, "Don't even think about trying to run. My friends have this house completely surrounded." Then he was gone.

As soon as he left, I slowly brought up my hand that held my ring. I cradled it and held it to my lips. Hot tears ran down my cheeks. For a moment, I madly considered that when I got to the meadow I would tell Edward everything and then he would grab me and run. Run. Run away from everything that kept me from being with him forever. Find a place where there was just the two of us. How could I say the things to Edward that Sam demanded? Edward would never hurt me this way.

I shook my head. Edward would never believe me. He would understand that something was wrong. He had to know he was my life.

I looked at the paper again. The scrawlings on this paper were just the things that would kill Edward. All of the sudden I remembered something Edward had said to me when he came back, _"If you wanted something more, I would understand that, Bella. I promise I wouldn't stand in your way if you wanted to leave me." _

I put my head down in my lap and wept. If I said these things to Edward, Sam was right. Edward would leave. I would never see him again. I would break his heart.

What if he knew I was lying? He would grab me and try to get away. I would be forced to watch as the werewolves tore him apart, devoured him, and burned him. I had to make this convincing. I had to.

The only thing that could make me do this was imagining Edward being ripped apart. Watching his face in the fire. I couldn't even conceive it. My heart beat faster as I thought of the werewolves coming after Esme, Carlisle . . . I thought of the heroic fight Emmett would give before he fell. I couldn't picture the beautiful Rosalie falling and being devoured by a werewolf. I put my hands over my face as I thought of my graceful Alice and sweet Jasper.

I blinked my eyes. There had to be a way out of this. Alice. Alice would be seeing everything. She would tell Edward. Maybe she was on her way back right now. I would do what I could to help Alice make Edward understand.

I still had my bag from the river. I took it off my shoulder and began madly searching for a pen. I breathed a sigh of relief when I found one. There was no paper, but I had the one in front of me that Sam had given me. I began to write Edward a letter. A letter that had to contradict everything I would soon be telling him. I began to cry again before I even got through the first sentence, but I shook my head. I had to keep my wits about me if I was going to do this. I wrote furiously so I'd be done before Sam returned. Would Sam search me when he got back? Could I get the letter to Edward without Sam noticing? I shook my head, that was too dangerous. I would leave it in the meadow and hoped Alice would get the letter to Edward.

I looked through my bag and found a ziploc bag left there from a different outing, and put the letter in it. I tucked the letter inside my bikini top and tried to gather courage for what I was about to do. I laid my head on the table and whispered, "I love you all." For a moment I closed my eyes and let myself feel him, remember him.

I jumped as the door flew open. Sam was ready, his eyes were aflame with excitement. "Shall we?" he sneered. He walked over to me and I put my hand up and said, "Just a minute, do I have your word that nothing will happen to Edward or anyone else in his family if I do this?" His eyes were dark as he answered, "I swear an oath. Besides, after you do this, there is nothing I could do to that parasite that would damage him any more." He yanked me by my arm and headed out the door.

As we got closer to the meadow, the more I did not think I would be able to do this. I had to keep Edward's face being burned in a fire in the front of my mind if I had any chance.

We were about a half mile from the meadow, or so Sam said. He dropped me off his back and got right in my face as he said, "You do this right, you save your lover's life. You do anything to alert him, we will be watching and listening. We will descend on that meadow like a bat out of hell." I looked behind me. A fast count showed me there were about 50 werewolves panting behind Sam. Their razor sharp teeth glistened and their eyes glowed in the moonlight. They seemed very hopeful that I would alert Edward. I started to shake.

"Go." Sam ordered.

I began to walk and I saw the group go farther back into the forest, safely out of Edward's range to smell them.

It was dark when I entered the meadow. I had never been here at night. All was quiet except for a slight breeze that ruffled the flowers. It moved through my hair and I closed my eyes and thought of all this place meant to me.

My mind traveled back to that first time he laid his hand on my neck. How it made me feel the first time he laid his head on my chest and heard my heartbeat. How it had thrilled me when he had said the word "love".

This meadow had changed everything for me. I would never be the same. I started to cry again. I clenched my teeth against the pain. This _wouldn'_t be the end. This _couldn't_ be the end. _Please _don't let it be the end.

With my eyes, I searched for a rock, anything, that would be big enough to hold down the letter. I slowly reached down in my cover-up and took the note and placed it under a rock close to my feet. I made sure one end was sticking out. I prayed he would find it.

A light drizzle began as I looked up to see him enter the meadow. My breath caught. He was walking slowly, hesitantly. I knew he was afraid of what I thought of him, of why I asked him to meet me here. I wanted to run and jump in his arms. I wanted to tell him how much what had happened didn't matter, but I stayed grounded to my spot.

He was so lovely. My personal miracle. My eyes traced over his pale white features, the hard square of his jaw, the soft curve of his full lips, the sharp angle of his cheekbones. I stared at his wide strong shoulders; how I loved to lean in on them when he held me. His graceful neck. I watched his hair blowing in the breeze. I was trying to commit all of his beauty to memory, but I was afraid to look in his eyes. I couldn't do this if I had to look in his eyes.

He came within ten feet of me and stopped. His eyes, to my relief, were looking down, hidden behind his dark frame of lashes. He was ashamed. His angel face looked torn and drawn.

"Bella," his musical voice was hoarse and rough. "With all my heart, I am so sorry for what I have done. What I almost did." He winced. His hands ran through his hair. His self-loathing was evident. "Please don't be afraid of me. It's all my fault. Can you . . .ever find it in your heart . . . .to. . .to forgive me?"

Damn me for what I would now do.

"No Edward, I can't forgive you. Not now. Not ever." I began to die inside.

He became completely still. His breathing stopped.

"Edward, this has become too much for me. I am bored beyond belief at our drama. I've had enough."

I saw his eyes blink at the shock. _Don't look at his eyes._

I took a big breath. "I am tired of waiting for you, Edward. You won't listen to me, and every time we start to get close you have to stop." I swallowed hard at the nausea rising in my throat. "Edward, Jacob never has to stop. He will give me whatever I want and more."

I hoped one day I would watch Sam die.

Edward rocked back on his feet. He had never lost his balance before. A tearless sob came out before he could restrain himself.

"Oh, Bella no," he whispered.

He took a step towards me and then his eyes flared. "There is werewolf scent everywhere around you," he choked.

His eyes looked deep into mine. I let out a sigh. I couldn't turn away. His eyes were full of ache, torment and betrayal. I had hurt him deeply. I recognized the look. It was the same look I gave him when he left me in that forest that terrible September day.

"You were with him just now?" he choked.

"Yes," I said. "I have been thinking about it a lot and tonight just made me realize it all the more. I am giving up too much to be with you. I have been feeling so smothered. It drives me crazy how you have to come to my room every night. I went to see Jake, and when I held him and heard his heartbeat and felt his warmth, that's when I knew . . . .it is Jacob I love, and not you."

He closed his eyes and rocked back as if he'd been hit.

_Please Sam, don't make me say it_. I blinked back the tears as I said, "You really are a monster, Edward. Tonight finally made me realize that you were right all along. I could never become a vampire."

The rain started to come down harder.

He came to me then. I sucked in my breath. He stood inches from my face. My shoulders sagged a little and my breathing was ragged. I couldn't control my heart. I knew it was pounding madly. He reached for my hand and I sighed when his cold fingers found mine. His touch did what it always did - it brought the strangest sense of relief. As if I'd been in pain and that pain had suddenly ceased.

He brought my hand up to his lips. I swallowed as his cold mouth caressed my fingers. The rain was dripping off his hair as he pressed his cold cheek on my hand and closed his eyes.

All too soon he pulled away. His eyes were searching mine as he said, "I promise I'll never bother you again." I wanted to scream out, to hold him. I swallowed at the pain. "I will always love you, Bella." He breathed.

He looked down at me and I watched as a raindrop hit his eye making him blink. The raindrop then fell below his eye and slowly ran down his cheek. That was the image, I knew, that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

I had to give the finishing touch. I bit my lip to keep from crying out as I pulled my beautiful ring off my finger and held it out to him. He took it from me and looked at it before he put it in his pocket. I felt like my soul was pulled out when he took it.

I looked down at the letter and then back up at Edward. I prayed Alice would help him find it.

He looked at me for one more immeasurable moment, then he sighed and said, "Be happy, Bella." Then he was gone. I didn't even see which direction he went.

I fell to my knees as wracking sobs gripped my body. I got up and ran out of the meadow and then fell to my knees again as I threw up all over the ground. I stumbled to my feet; I had no idea where I was going. Suddenly Sam was there, smiling. He seemed very pleased with the job I'd done. That was all I remembered.

I blacked out.

**No!!!! Oh man, what do you guys think? Thank you so much for reading.**


	19. The Hole

**There are things I want to say, but I don't want to distract from this chapter. There is a song that fits this chapter perfectly. It was my inspiration actually. It is "Remember When It Rained" by Josh Groban. This is Edward's POV.**

Where you used to be,

There is a hole in the world,

Which I find myself walking around in the daytime,

and falling into at night.

I miss you like hell.

- Edna St. Vincent Milay

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Seven Months Later . . . . . . . . . . .

Madness. It had become my constant companion. The fight to keep my mind from thinking of her had forced me into derangement.

What was the fantasy? What was the reality? There was no distinguishing between the two anymore. Was she ever really here? Was she just a figment of my imagination? It was easy to say she was real when her scent was still on me, but that had left me long, long ago. And yet, somehow, I was still here. Day after day after day. Immortality.

Life was now an annoyance.

How did I ever fade into this life?

It had probably been six months since I'd fed. The impulse to crave it had left me.

Everything had left me. Meaning, reason, . . . . her.

So, here I was. . . at the boundary of the meadow, using the last of my strength to get here. . . .

The wolves were bound to find me. They always sensed when a vampire was weak. I would never be able to run away, much less fight. It was a welcome thought. . . leaving this existence. Madness made everything so clear.

It was a good way for a monster to die.

The first while after I'd run away from her. . . after what she had said . . . I killed every animal I saw. "Damn right I'm a monster!" I screamed. I wanted to wallow in it. I never saw a human. Lucky for them. . .

Her birthday was the last time I fed.

That's when I stopped keeping track of the days. The sun came up and down. _Don't think about her_. I would stand in the rain and wait to feel something. Bella smelled so good in the rain. _Don't think about her_. It was dark and I would think of Bella's window. _Stop, dammit don't think about her. _

I fell to my knees and wondered if I could make it to the center of the meadow. I used to be so strong. I had the strength of a thousand men. I could bring down a bear with just my hands. My run was a blur to the human eye . . . I could run with her on my back and not even feel it. I could make her heart stop and then start again. I could dazzle her. I could make her whisper forever in my ear.

Without warning, the image raced through my head again. I cringed and shuddered with the pain. The image that had driven me farther into dementia than any other. I saw her with Jacob Black. I set my teeth and waited for it to pass. He was touching her hand, her neck, her lips. . .

When I opened my eyes, I saw that it was sunrise. The sun was hidden behind clouds, but it was definitely there. The time had come. One hundred and six years was enough. More than enough.

I crawled out into the middle of the meadow. My limbs were trembling with the effort. I wondered if this is how it felt when I had Ifluenza. I concentrated on keeping my balance and putting one hand in front of the other, as I clenched my teeth and rolled onto my back on the wet, cold ground. My muscles spasmed and ached with thirst, but my body would never get what it needed.

I looked down at myself. Yes, I clearly fit the role of monster now. I was still wearing the same clothes I had on the last time I was here. When she asked me to meet her here.

This would be a good last day. I would spend it doing what I had forced myself not to do for so long. I would spend it thinking of her. I looked up at the sky and lay very still.

"Bella" . . .

Ahhhhh, I'd said it. I'd said her name.

It felt so good.

Bella.

It was raining.

I wanted it to wash away the fight . . . anything that's kept my mind off her.

No more pride.

Thoughts are all I have left of you, Bella.

Let me feel, let me fall.

I smiled. I remembered the first time I saw her in the lunch room. Her brown eyes intrigued me. She had sat there so innocently, staring at me.

I remembered her terrible, wonderful scent. How it had almost overtaken me the first time I experienced it. How I had grown to love it and crave it. I longed to breathe her in. I sighed as I let the memory of it wash over me. I desperately wanted her fragrance to stay with me. I had tried so hard to forget. So hard.

I remembered the first time I went to her bedroom in the night and heard her call my name. I remember what it felt like. . . It was like I had been standing in this hole filled with stagnant, fetid water for so long. The hole was dark and deep and there was no way out, and then I looked up and she had her hand out to me and even though I knew I shouldn't, I took her hand, and she pulled me out. And there was light, meaning, beauty. . . innocence. . . . . . goodness. There was Bella.

I remembered bringing her to this meadow. She wasn't afraid of me. . .yet. Her heartbeat was like a long forgotten melody, her warmth was like a blanket. Soothing me, comforting me. She had given me something I had long given up searching for. I discovered softness when she moved in closer to me and I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her hair. I had actually trembled inside. I wanted to stay just like that forever. Forever.

My thoughts went to my sanctuary, and I clenched my teeth again and curled in on myself. I felt my lips run along her jaw. I felt my fingers touching her collarbone, caressing her cheek. I could feel her hair brush by my face. I loved to watch her sleep. I would gently bring her wrist up to me and breathe in while I watched her.

All I wanted to do was love her, be with her, keep her safe. I snorted in derision. I had failed miserably at all of them.

She begged me to stay . . .I left.

She begged me to change her. . . I refused.

She begged me to marry her . . . I delayed.

She begged me to be close to her . . . . I almost killed her.

Monster. Monster. Monster. Wretch, villain, brute, devil. . . demon.

Any name worked, they all fit.

I cursed my fate at becoming a vampire. I should have died in that foul, putrid hospital. But then, I never would have known her.

This was my penance, my atonement, my absolution for what I'd done. For losing my soul and my humanity, I lost Bella.

But, I was cheating fate out of its prize. I wouldn't live for eternity this way. I'd had everything, I couldn't go back to half a life. I wouldn't live without her. It wouldn't be long now. She didn't want me. Didn't love me.

I always told myself that when Bella outgrew me, I would walk away, I would let her go, but the way she looked at me, the way she held on to me when I kissed her. I had somehow convinced myself it would never happen.

Stupid monster. Stupid pathetic monster.

Whatever possessed me to think that I could have someone like her? I was back in the hole again. I was well-acquainted with this place. It was good. It was familiar.

My thoughts traveled to my family. I hadn't seen them since that night. I had missed them for a while, but I knew I couldn't bear to hear what they had to say, or think. I had stayed away from anyplace Alice would know, most of the time I had no idea where I was. This was the first time I'd made a deliberate plan to be anywhere familiar. She'd be too late.

I had told myself in the beginning that I would give it time. I would come out of this eventually. But, nothing held any interest for me. Nothing.

Oh, Bella. The mind I most wanted to hear was hers, and it had always been inaccessible to me. If I could have heard her thoughts, I would have known how she really felt. . . She was tired of me, she thought I was a monster, she loved Black. . . . That's what I would have known. I'm glad I couldn't read her thoughts. The only reason I had her with me as long as I did, is because I had no idea what she was really thinking.

I had been here all day. It had rained off and on. The clouds had shifted. The sun had moved, but I was still here. It was almost twilight. It wouldn't be long now. My lost soul, never to be exhumed, gone forever.

I stretched my arms out to my sides. An appropriate pose for one about to die, I thought, when my hand hit against something strange.

I looked over and found a plastic bag under a rock. I pulled it out and saw there was a paper in the bag.

With my name on it.

In Bella's handwriting.

I forced myself to sit up. I was so weak. It took some effort. I steeled myself for what I would find on this paper. I prepared myself for the fact that, not content with just telling me how she felt about me that night, she had also written her thoughts down. Give it to me, let me have it. Cut open the wounds, I thought.

I opened the letter and then gave an intake of air. She did not begin this letter like a person about to say good-bye. Perhaps this was written at some other time. I read on.

_My beloved Edward,_

_Tonight I am being forced to say good-bye to you, perhaps for the rest of my life. Sam found me after I left your room. I was foolish. I ran into the woods. He was waiting for me. He had been watching for the chance he would find me alone. He had a plan in mind all along. He never intended on letting us leave peacefully. He brought me to a huge field and in that field was a gathering of werewolves too numerous to count. There are so many of them, Edward. They are dancing around a massive fire just waiting for the chance to come after you and your family. Sam made me a deal. I would tell you good-bye, and he would not send the werewolves after you. I had to say yes. What choice did I have? I could never bear to see you or any of your family hurt, or killed._

_He did not tell me until later that he had planned exactly what I was to say to you. Edward, it will kill me to say these things to you. I will be lying. Please forgive me for what I say tonight. I will not mean one word of it. Please believe me. Edward, I love you, I will only love you for the rest of eternity. I do not love Jacob. I did not go to him after I left you. He wasn't even helping Sam tonight. You are not a monster. You are my beautiful miracle, you are my angel. You have saved me and gave my life more meaning and hope than I ever thought I was capable of feeling._

_He is taking me somewhere after tonight. He isn't saying where. I am to tell Charlie that I am going to school in Tucson, but it is also all a lie. The only clue I have is Jake telling me that before, Sam planned to send me somewhere in New Mexico on a reservation where his uncle lived. There are werewolves there too. _

_I don't have much time. Sam left me in this room. He's coming back to take me to the meadow. Edward, going to save you like this has finally made me realize how you felt the day you left me. I won't ask you to make me a vampire anymore. I'll stay with you as a human, and I won't leave when I'm old. I'll die in your arms, Edward. Please just let me be with you. I'll go on to the next life and wait and prepare for when we are together again. I love you. I'll love only you forever. _

_If you don't find this letter until after I'm gone, or if you don't find it until I am very old, please live a good life. You have everything you need to love and live for right in front of you, your family. Find someone else to love if you can. But please, next time make it another vampire._

_Thank you for loving me. No one has ever felt more loved, or been more loved than I have been._

_Forever yours,_

_Bella_

_Edward, about tonight, please know that to me it was beautiful, and a promise of maybe something more we can have one day. I loved being so close to you. It was both our faults letting things go too far. Please don't torture yourself over it. You have always shown me so much respect and kindness. You have fought back the urges in you every time. You have always won. You will always win. I love you._

I read the letter through twice and still I couldn't make myself believe it. She loved me. Bella loved me. She didn't think I was a monster. She wasn't repulsed by me or what had happened that night in my room. I had once chastised her for being so quick to believe my lie, but I had never even doubted the horrible things she'd said to me.

I slowly raised to my knees and turned my head to the sky and put out my arms. "Thank you," I said. "For once more chance."

I heard footsteps coming into the meadow. My head came up in alarm and I looked desperately from side to side. I was too weak to hear anyone's mind. Death was not so welcome now.

It was Alice. She was walking to me and shaking her head with a smile on her face. "Finally, you came back and read that letter," she said ruefully.

I smiled. It had been a long time since I'd smiled. "She loves me, Alice."

"I know that," she said, "We've always known that."

"I am going to find her, and save her, and marry her." I smiled again.

Alice smirked at me, "Maybe you should drink first. You wouldn't be able to save a kitten in a tree right now." She started to help me up.

"Maybe a shower before we go would also be nice." She offered.

I looked myself over. "Self-pity looks great on me don't you think?"

"I want to burn those clothes," she murmured.

I paused. My fingers were weak and shaking, but I reached into my pocket and pulled out Bella's ring. "Here, take care of this, do whatever you want with the clothes."

She took the ring and said, "Jasper and Emmett are coming. They have two mountain lions and a deer for you." Jasper came into view then. He came to me and he was smiling as he hugged me. He took my other arm and the three of us walked out of the meadow.

Once again, Bella had reached out her hand to me, and pulled me out of the hole.

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**There are a few chapters left. It will end this week. Next one tomorrow. **


	20. Faith

**Thank, Thank, Thank you for reviewing that last chapter. I am going to say it again. I have the best people in the world reading this story. I am just loving how much you all want Sam to die! And it isn't in nice ways either. You want him to die with silver bullets (or silver spoons), you want him to be cut into tiny pieces, and one of you even wants me to write you into the story so you can kill him yourself! I have to admit, I hate him too. You guys are the best!! Love ya - **

**This is Bella's POV **

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I awoke to find restraints on my wrists. I pulled at them. It was no use. I was angry. Angry at myself for not being able to figure a way out of this place. Angry that after six months, I was no closer to finding out where I was being held than the day Sam brought me here.

I hated him. I chuckled darkly to myself. I used to think I hated Lauren. I thought she was the worst I would come across. I was wrong. Very wrong. Sam was a perfect example of what can happen to a person consumed by madness and revenge. Emily would not recognize the person he had become. She would not love him now.

I felt hot tears on my face. Tears of vain hope. Tears for Edward. It had been six months. He never came for me. The first week I sat up every night waiting. Every noise made my heart start. Every sound made me jump. But it was never Edward.

Then the second week went by.

The third week.

Then a month.

I had tried to escape several times. Once I even got past the village gate. I think Sam let me get that far just to toy with me. I didn't know where I thought I was going. In every direction for as far as the eye could see, there was nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Everywhere I looked, every corner I turned, his eyes were always watching me. He was never far away. After two months, I'd had enough. I found matches and started the house I lived in on fire. I pulled all the plants out that the villagers were growing for food. I dumped out the week's supply of water. Anything to make Sam regret bringing me here. Anything to make his life more miserable.

I was trying something new. That was the reason for the restraints. Two weeks ago, I had stopped eating. Not out of some sick eating disorder, but to force Sam's hand. Maybe if I came close to dying he would get me out of here. Sam ordered that I be coerced into eating, but as soon as I was alone, I would spit it out. The village had a small hospital in the back of one of the houses, it only had one bed. Sam brought me in here and I was hooked up to an I.V., but I pulled it out. I was kicking and thrashing, and apparently I was given some kind of sedative. Now, I had these stupid restraints to deal with.

It was the middle of the night. I was all alone. I wanted Edward. The hot tears were streaming down the side of my face. They were wetting my ears and my pillow, and in restraints, I couldn't even wipe them away. Our year at Dartmouth would be almost over. He would be lying by me right now. I didn't care whether I was human or a vampire. It all seemed so foolish now. All my arguments and fights with him about changing me. I had him, he loved me, why wasn't that enough?

I was haunted everyday by the look in his eyes before he ran. He had to know the truth from Alice by now, why couldn't he forgive me?

I looked down at my wrists. They were starting to swell. These were on very tight. Probably put on by Sam himself. I flexed my fingers. I looked at my ring finger. I wanted my ring back. That thought made the tears begin again.

I was alone. I felt so alone.

Suddenly, in the corner of the room, I heard a movement. My head turned sharply and then I heard a whisper, "Hello, Bella."

There was one small light on above my head. I blinked to see past the glare, then taking me completely surprise, Jake appeared at my bed. I hadn't seen him since the fireworks. My eyes blinked away the tears so that I could see him. I smiled. I didn't know if his being here was a good thing or a bad thing, but at that moment I was so happy to see him.

He looked at me with a very worried look on his face and immediately began to take off the restraints. When they were off, I hugged him. He was so warm. The tears started all over again. He held me tightly for a moment, and then he laid me gently back down on the bed.

"Why are you here, Jake?" I choked out.

"Well," he sounded embarrassed. "Sam sent for me."

"Why?"

Jake was staring at me thoughtfully. He was being very quiet as he spoke. "He said that you had stopped eating and that he was at his wits end as to what to do with you. He told me I was the only person he could think of that could help you."

"Sam sent you here to watch me?" My heart sank.

He pulled over a chair and sat down. He folded his arms and rested them on the side of the bed. "I told him I would come because I was worried about you, not to control you."

I touched his arm.

I watched him swallow hard.

"Where have you been?" I asked.

Jake stiffened a bit and said, "Sam banished me from the pack. I refused to help Sam with his plan." He shook his head. "This plan was sheer lunacy from the start." He swallowed hard again and his eyes narrowed. "He had been talking all that summer about werewolves gathering near us from all the known packs, but I had no idea that he was the one bringing them there until it was too late." He scoffed and said, "My plan was to just bring back your motorcycle and watch Charlie blow a blood vessel and ground you from Cullen."

He stared at me and rested his head in his hand. "I was coming to warn you, but he found me."

We stared into each other's eyes.

I grabbed his hand and held on tightly. He held mine just as hard.

"Jake, where are we?" Before, Jake thought that Sam would bring me to the reservation where Sam's uncle lived. This was no reservation, I knew that much. It was a small village with about 40 or 50 living here. There were only 12 small houses.

Jake shook his head. "It isn't like we are in a town with a name. This place is out in the middle of nowhere. I really don't know, other than that we are in New Mexico." It was good to know that much.

"Jake, I am so glad you're okay. I hadn't seen you here. I see Paul, Jared, and Embry once in a while, but I was afraid something happened to you. Sam would never answer any of my questions about you."

Jake and I were still holding hands. He took my hand and put it in both of his as he said, "I was going crazy wondering where Sam had taken you. I was so worried about you."

I was surprised. "You didn't know where I was this whole time?"

Jake looked frustrated. "Sam acted completely on his own. Not even my dad knows what's going on." Everyone thinks you went to the University of Arizona." He let my hand go and sat back on his chair. "I was so worried about you and moping around all the time that when Sam called, my dad was glad to be rid of me." He smiled a little. "He thinks I am going to school here with Sam's cousins."

I took a breath and asked the next question. "Can you get me out of here, can you get me home?"

Jake ran his hand over his face. He darted his eyes out the door and then back at me. "This place is heavily guarded. It's more than it appears to be." He tried to tell me more, but I could see that something was stopping him. I had to just be happy that Jake was here, I told myself. Edward is coming. Edward is coming.

"How's Charlie?"

Jake shrugged his shoulders. "Back to eating pizza every night. He and my dad spend a lot of time together. Especially since Harry died."

It was silent for a few moments. "Thank you for coming, Jake."

He raised his eyebrows. "If I stay, will you eat?"

I smiled and nodded my head.

For two days, Jake was with me in the hospital. He even slept there. On the afternoon of the second day, he walked in with a big smile and said, "Let's get out of here."

I jumped out of bed. I was still a little dizzy. I caught the bed for support and Jake came running over. I smiled sheepishly and said, "Some things, for me, never change."

It was a beautiful day outside. If I was back in Forks it would have been freezing and rainy right now. A lump came in my throat.

Jake brought me back to the house where Sam was holding me. When we got in, Jake was looking down. He looked very uncomfortable. "Bells, Sam said he wants me to sleep here with you. He is trying to arrange to have another bed brought in."

I should have been angry at Sam for finding yet another way to keep tabs on me, but instead, I was relieved. The nights here were endless.

I smiled and nodded my head. "It's okay Jake."

That night, Jake came in smiling with a stack of cards. He had bought them off someone in the village. He wanted to teach me poker. We stayed up for hours bluffing and laughing. I don't think I won one hand.

"I wish we were playing with real money," he said. "I would have won like $600 already."

I yawned. "Ha! You are just taking advantage of a beginner. Wait until I get the hang of this game. You will be sorry you ever taught me."

"You need to go to bed," he scolded. We were already in our pajamas. Well, I was in my pajamas, Jake was in sweats and no shirt. The house was very small. There was a table and chairs in the kitchen, a bathroom, and a bedroom. We had been playing on the bed.

I knew I finally had to bring up the subject. "Jake, there is no other place for you to sleep but here in this bed."

He nervously cleared his throat. "Oh. . . I . . uh was just planning on sleeping under the stars tonight. Don't worry, I'll be right outside the door." He got up off the bed.

It was February. It was still really cold outside at nighttime. I stared at him with my eyebrow up. "Jake, don't be ridiculous, it will be fine. This is a double bed, plenty of room." That wasn't exactly true, Jake had grown even more in the last several months. I slid way over against the wall and put out my hand to show him all the room there was.

Jake ran his hand through his hair and stared at the bed. "I warn you, I talk in my sleep," I said.

Jake grinned and turned out the light and lay down on the bed. "Good night, Bella." He whispered. "Good night, Jake."

The next day was mail day. I would write Charlie and Renee once a week, and a family in the village would drive the letters to civilization. Sam always inspected the letters before I sealed the envelope. I would make up stories of what I wished my life was like in college. I knew we had to be fairly close to the Arizona border, because my letters would have to be postmarked from Tuscon. I would always wait impatiently because that same family would also bring any return mail back with them.

The family arrived home late that night. I didn't get the letter until I was ready for bed. I got in the covers and began reading the letter from Renee. She didn't understand why I just couldn't e-mail her from somewhere on campus. She wanted to know how my studies were going, and if I was dating anybody. Phil was about to start Spring training again. Nothing amazing or wonderful, but it made me cry. I wanted my life back. I wanted to be out of here.

Jake came and lied down by me. "I've got to get out of here, Jake." I said.

"I know, I'm working on it," he reassured me.

In the middle of the night, I had a terrible dream about Edward. It ended with me seeing his face in a fire. I woke up screaming. Jake was right there. He held me close to him. His chest was so warm. He laid back down with me in his arms and held me while I went back to sleep.

In the morning when I woke up, he was still holding me. He was awake and had been watching me while I slept. He released me and moved out of the bed quickly and left.

It had now been six months and two weeks. I wondered if a time would come when I stopped keeping track of the days. I was sitting at the table in the house. Jake and Sam were there too. I had given this speech to Sam many times, but I was about to give it again.

"Sam, the Cullens moved on just like you wanted. All the reports back to you say that they aren't coming back. Please let me go. I won't tell anyone what's been going on. There is no way anyone would believe me anyway. I don't want Charlie to know Jake's secret, much less the Cullen's secret. Just let me go." It would take me less than 5 seconds after I was free to contact Edward.

Sam's mouth twitched. "We have received new information. The entire coven moved away, reports say that they were all living in New Hampshire for a time, including your bloodsucker. But, then for unexplained reasons, he left. He has been spotted a few places. Sometimes in the company of a certain female leech."

Sam stole a look at me. I was trying to take in what he was saying. He continued, "This little charade we've been playing, doesn't seem to have had it's desired effect. Until I find him and I am assured that his kind will never be back in Forks again, you are staying here."

I was in shock at his words. Sam was lying. I felt my chest caving in. Edward wouldn't just leave me here. He wouldn't be with someone else. NO. No. no. I grabbed my stomach and started swaying in my chair. Sam was lying. I shot my eyes to his face. He calmly looked back at me.

"We'll probably let you go home soon, he said."

I was going to be sick. I ran to the bathroom and splashed water on my face, and crumpled on the bathroom floor. I started shaking my head. I shook my head faster, and faster. The tears were coming down my face and I clenched my teeth so Sam wouldn't hear me scream. All the rationalizing and playing games in my head was over. After two hours on the bathroom floor, I could come to no other explanation. He wasn't coming. He was never coming.

I came out of the bathroom and the house was dark. I thought Jake was already in bed. I looked into the kitchen and saw him sitting in a chair. Just sitting there in the dark. When he saw me, he rose out of the chair without a word and walked to me. He took my hand and walked me into the bedroom. He took off my shoes and laid me in the bed. Then he climbed in and pulled the blankets up on us and then grasped me and held me tight to him. He smoothed my hair off my face and ran his hand down my back until I fell asleep.

For the next week, it was the same way. When it was time for bed, I would move into his arms. It had become habit now. Sometimes in the night, I would dreamily think it was Edward and move in closer. Then I would realize it was Jake and back away. He was always awake when I did this. His eyes looking into mine.

One more week went by. Six months and three weeks without Edward. Three weeks since Jake had come. I now had two ways of keeping track of time.

That night, I awoke to feel Jake's warm hand on my cheek. He was wiping tears off my face. "You were having a bad dream again," he whispered. "You were calling for Edward." That was the first time I remembered Jake ever saying his name.

"I'm sorry," I whispered back.

His hand was still on my cheek and he began to run his fingers over my face. "Don't be," he said.

I swallowed hard. "Jake, tell me something. What were you saying to Edward the night of the fireworks?"

His hand froze on my face, but he never stopped looking at me. He reached his hand back into my hair and said, "I told him that I loved you more than he ever could, because I would never hurt you. I told him I never would have left you, and that you would always be the most important thing to me. I demanded he let you go and give you the gift of a real life." He ran his thumb over my cheek as he said, "The last thing I told him is I would die before I would play so carelessly with your soul."

We continued to stare at each other. He slid down so that he was level with my face. "I meant every word," he said. He moved in closer to my eyes. His voice became rough. "I want you for so much more than my girlfriend now."

He kissed me then. His warm lips moved on mine very slowly. I stopped the kiss, but I didn't move away.

A few days later, Jake took my hand while we were walking and I didn't stop him. That night we played poker again. We stayed up very late and I actually won a few hands. I bet it all on the last hand and lost everything. We decided to make our betting amounts ridiculously huge. "Let's see," said Jake, "According to my calculations, I just won $356 million dollars." I laughed. Not a lot, but a little.

Jake looked at me intently. "I can still make you laugh when no one else can," he said. I laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. All of the sudden, his face was above me. He reached down and kissed me. I didn't pull away this time.

A few days later, Sam told Jake he needed to talk to him. I busied myself with cleaning. Today was the day I gave all my laundry to a lady in the village to wash. I was carrying my laundry down the gravel path when I saw Jake and Sam arguing. They were too far away for me to hear what they were saying, but it was obvious the discussion was heated. When I came back, they were gone.

When Jake came in the house, he was very quiet. We both tried to eat dinner, but I hadn't much cared about anything lately, including food. Jake just moved his around on his plate. Sam came in the house. He never knocked. I hated having him this close to me. He arrogantly told me that within the week, we were moving to a new location, and that Jake would be going back home.

I panicked. Jake sat motionless. It was obvious Jake already knew about this. He glared darkly at Sam and held his fists tight.

After Sam left, I turned to him and said, "What's going on? Why is he sending you away?"

"Because I don't want to be welcomed back into the pack," he said bleakly.

"You don't want in? I thought that was what you wanted?" I said.

Jake got up from the table. "I'm going to bed." He walked out of the kitchen.

I tiptoed in a little while later. I was afraid I'd disturb him. I slid in as quietly as I could, but when I laid down, he was looking at me.

"I'm sorry I woke you," I said.

He shook his head. "I wasn't sleeping."

I furrowed my eyebrows and he said, "I came in here to think."

"Tell me," I pleaded.

He swallowed hard. "The reason I don't want in the pack is not just because of Sam, it's because I don't want that life for you. I saw what it did to Emily." His arm reached around me and drew me closer to him. "I want you to be safe. I want you to laugh all the time, I want you to have babies and grow old with me and not live in fear of monsters anymore. When Sam sends me away, I am taking you with me."

He kissed me again. It started like before, but it changed and I didn't pull away. When he saw that I would welcome his kiss, he moved his body closer to me. He kissed my face and neck. It felt so different with Jake's warm lips. His body moved on mine and he began to kiss me in a way Edward never could. I was taken by surprise. I had never been with a human in this way before. I didn't know what it was like to be with someone that wasn't afraid about hurting me, or killing me.

That night, after Jake was asleep, I lay there trying to piece together what was left of my mind. Twice now, I had let my dreams of being with Edward take over every part of my life, and twice, they had been taken away. The first time, it had almost killed me. The second time, well, I wasn't in the greatest shape, but, as long as I was still alive, I had some choices to make.

For almost seven months I had been waiting for Edward to come and get me. Like some princess locked in a tower waiting for that magical kiss that would give her happily ever after. Well, I was definitely not a princess, and this had stopped being a fairy tale. I never saw the story where the prince, either because he couldn't forgive her, or just stopped believing in her and loving her, just left her locked up in that tower.

Maybe princes came in different forms. I had the indestructible, marble skinned, velvet voiced, fiercely beautiful angel version. I loved that version. I wanted that one. Oh, how I wanted that one. But, there was also a beautiful boy who was now a man who had always made me smile when no one else could, and had always been there. He never left me, he never tried to push me away, and he had somehow managed to save me one more time.

I looked out the window and could see part of the moon. How did things go so wrong with Edward? Was he somewhere looking at the same moon?

Forever. Forever is a very hard thing to let go. Extremely hard.

You don't always get what you want out of life. I looked over at Jake. If I was going to do this, I wouldn't give him half of me, I would give him all of me. He deserved that much. The hardest part would be finding a place to tuck away all the parts of me that were screaming for Edward. Would they still be fighting to get out when I had children with Jake? What about when I was 60, 70, or 80? Maybe I would be able to keep them safely tucked away by placing new memories in front of the door. Maybe.

The next morning when I woke up, Jake was gone. I looked out the window and I saw him out there working on Sam's car. I cleaned up and went out to say hi. When I got to him, he turned and smiled and I gave him a kiss. He answered back wholeheartedly. I can do this, I said proudly to myself.

Sam came around noon and said that plans were being set in place to move me in three days. He had no other information about Edward. He wouldn't tell me where we were going, and he said that unless Jake changed his mind, he was sending him back. When Sam walked away, Jake just grabbed my hand and gave me a look of reassurance. Jake had a plan of some sort, I couldn't imagine what it would actually be like to be free again.

After dinner, I was beginning to get anxious. Now that I had made the decision to be with Jake, I was nervous to be going back in that bedroom with him. He seemed to notice something was different. He looked at me. "Do you want to play cards?" he asked softly.

"No." I shook my head.

"Do you want to stay up and read Wuthering Heights for the hundredth time?" he smiled.

"No." I said.

He stared at me for a moment and then he kissed me. I answered back the best that I could. He was leading me back to the bedroom and taking off his shirt. We fell on the bed and he began doing things that Edward never could. I can do this, I thought happily.

I was breathless and enjoying it, but not lost in euphoria like when Edward kissed me. I was holding him close, but not clinging to him with all my might like I did with Edward. I wasn't close to fainting in his arms. I wasn't whispering "Forever" in his ear. My heart wasn't stopping and starting again.

I put my hands on his back and tried very hard not to think about how his back wasn't cold or that he didn't have an intoxicating scent like Edward.

Edward.

Edward.

I couldn't do this. I thought I could, but there was no way. I still loved Edward. I needed Edward. Even if I was alone for the rest of my life, it would always be him. Forever it would only be him.

I started to cry. Frustrated tears, angry tears that I couldn't just love the person that was here with me. That wanted me so much. Jake could feel something had changed. He pulled away to look at my face. Tears were in my eyes as I slowly shook my head. He stared at me and saw that his fears were true.

"It's been seven months!" he said. "Seven months and he hasn't come for you. If I knew you loved me, nothing could keep me away!"

That's when I realized, there could be one more reason Edward hadn't come for me.

"Jake, I could love you so easily. I would have babies with you and grow old with you, but my heart isn't here. It has never been here. My heart is with Edward. He is somewhere out there. I have to find him."

Jake rolled off me and laid on his back with his hands over his face. I got out of the bed, grabbed a blanket and went outside.

I looked out at the wide expanse of stars. It was after midnight. It was February 27th. Seven months since that horrible night. I asked myself a question. Who did I believe? Who did I trust? Until I found out for myself, I was going to be true to my angel. I had to start to think things through from a different perspective. I thought about the way Edward had reacted when he left me after my birthday. He had cut himself off from his entire family. Maybe this time, he had done the same thing. Sam could be bluffing, just like me in poker.

What if my worst fears had actually happened? What if Alice hadn't found him? What if Edward had spent the last seven months believing all the things I'd said to him? What if he was somewhere by himself still thinking I didn't love him and that I thought him a monster? What if he was somewhere thinking I was with Jake now? That I had loved Jake all along?

When Edward had left me, I was in hell just from the fact that I thought he didn't love me anymore. If he had also said horrible things to me and told me he was in love with someone else, well, I couldn't even imagine the pain. It probably would have killed me.

I would make it out of this. I would find a way to make it back to my angel. If he wasn't coming after me, then I would somehow get to him and tell him those terrible, cutting words were all a lie. _Don't lose hope in me Edward. Please don't lose faith._

When I went back to the house, Jake was gone. I didn't see him all the next day.

Late that night, I heard something I'd never heard before. A helicopter flew low overhead. "What would a helicopter be doing here?" I thought. "In the middle of nowhere?"

**So, did I scare all of you?? Guess what. Tomorrow is the last chapter and epilogue. It will be pretty long. I love you all!! See ya tomorrow**.


	21. Prince

**Well, here we are at the end. I am so sorry when a story ends. Don't you always sigh at the last page of a book? You have been the best. I will talk some more at the end. Don't forget the epilogue!**

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The next day Sam ordered me to pack my things. It took 15 minutes. It wasn't like I had a lot of stuff. Just my books and clothes. I wondered where he would be taking me. Sam always thought through every plan so well. Since the disaster with Emily, it was like he didn't leave any detail to chance. I would try to escape on the way to this new place, but I didn't hold out much hope. Sam had blindfolded me to get me here. I assumed this time he would do the same thing.

Sam told me Jake was gone. I so wanted to talk to him, but I was not sure what of anything I could ever say to make it better. He loved me. If I hadn't stopped us that night, I know what would have happened. He wanted to build his future with me. I had walked away from him and hurt him terribly.

No matter what, I couldn't be in his life anymore. I wouldn't do this to him again. He was going to have a good life and find someone who could give all of her heart to him. When he found her, he would realize how foolish he had been in loving me.

That night, I walked outside again and looked at the impossible amount of stars in the sky. I kept feeling this bond to Edward. It was like our souls were speaking to each other. I closed my eyes and let myself feel him. When I finally went to bed, I kept contemplating the significance of Sam moving me the next day, and wondering how I would get away. I fell into an uneasy sleep.

It was after midnight that I was awaken by panicked voices. They were yelling and running fast past my window. I put on my shoes as I ran out the door and saw someone pointing up as they were running. I turned my head up and saw strange balloons coming from the sky. I was looking up at them staring in wonder, when all of the sudden Sam came running at me. Without breaking stride he grabbed me and picked up speed.

I managed to look into the sky once more just as the balloon came into the light of the village. My eyes widened as I realized it was a parachute. It was still at least 200 hundred feet in the air, when the person attached to it broke free and came falling to the ground. I saw the figure hit the ground as light as a feather and immediately run for me. I stared in amazement.

"Edward!" I screamed. I struggled to break free. He came. He came for me.

He was running and closing the gap between us when a werewolf suddenly jumped at him from a rooftop and sent them both crashing to the ground.

"No!" I cried.

Before Sam turned the corner, I saw several more parachutes coming down from the sky. All around me, men I had seen everyday in the village, were phasing into werewolves. There were so many of them. Too many.

Sam ran into the farthest building and threw me to the ground. I blinked in amazement when I saw what was in there. This house was used to store an absolute arsenal of weapons. It was completely filled with guns, bullets, grenades and armor. I had no idea what this could do to a vampire, but at the very least it would slow them down.

Sam was furious. He was seething and struggling not to phase as he pulled a radio out of his pocket. "Get a truck here now!" he screamed. I ran into the back of the house looking for a window, or door to escape through, some way to get to Edward. But, Sam sprinted after me and caught me halfway in the hall and dragged me back. "You try anything like that again, and I'll kill you," he barked.

I could hear growling and screaming out the window. I had no idea how many werewolves were out there. I thought back to the field that held hundreds of them, and panicked. I had never seen all those werewolves here, but with Sam, I was never sure of anything. Sam had thrown me down next to a pile of grenades. I stole a look at Sam. He was preoccupied with his plans, I quickly grabbed a grenade and stuck it in my pocket.

Two men came running in. Sam yelled, "I don't want you phasing unless you absolutely have to. Get on the rooftops and do whatever damage you can." They grabbed guns and slung them on their backs. One of them grabbed a smaller bag probably filled with extra clips of ammunition and ran back out. Within seconds, I heard gunshots crackle through the air and I jumped and screamed.

A truck screeched to a stop in front of the house and Sam whirled around and grabbed me and threw me in. We were spitting dirt and rocks everywhere as we crashed through the fence that surrounded the whole village and sped off into the night. I was terrified that I was leaving and that Edward was still back there. I twisted my head to see out the back window and I saw Edward jump the fence and sprint for the truck, but two werewolves were waiting in the darkness. They came from different angles and jumped him. I let out a cry of panic.

All of the sudden, I heard a loud thump on the front of the truck making it rock to the side. I whipped my head around and smiled in relief.

Emmett's fist came crashing through the windshield and in a lightning fast motion, he grabbed the man driving and tossed him out on the dirt.

Sam screamed obscenities as he took the wheel and turned it sharply in an attempt to throw Emmett off the front. The truck swerved and I hit my head on the dashboard as I was thrown to the floor. I looked up and in the back window, and I saw Emmett come catapulting into the back of the truck and slam his fist through the window right by Sam's head. He grabbed Sam by the neck and squeezed. That's when Sam phased into a werewolf.

He took up almost the whole cab of the truck. He grabbed for me to take me with him, but Emmett opened the driver's side door and pulled him out, and they began battling out on the desert floor. I could feel that the truck was still moving. I scrambled off the floor and grabbed the wheel. I looked back at Emmett and figured he could handle himself. I was going to Edward.

I turned the wheel and pressed my foot all the way down on the gas. As I came closer, I could see Edward still in battle with one werewolf and another one lay motionless on the ground.

I had no idea what to do. I looked into the village, and I could see battles happening just about everywhere. Then, to the left, I watched in horror as two werewolves broke free from a fight and were heading straight for Edward. I would catch glimpses of them between the houses. My mouth went dry. From the angle I was at, they had no idea I was here. They would be coming around the side of the house right in front of me any second. I gritted my teeth and slammed down on the gas.

Just as they came around the corner, I was in front of them. The one in the back had time to react, but the one in front did not. I felt myself slam into something hard. When I opened my eyes, there was a werewolf wedged between me and the house. He was growling and squealing as he fought to get away.

In a lightning fast motion, Edward came around the side of the building. The first werewolf was running straight at him, but he jumped over him, slid across the front of the truck and wrenched the neck of the werewolf stuck there as he went by. The werewolf slumped forward, motionless.

When Edward got to the other side of the truck, he crouched and readied himself for an attack. The werewolf vaulted over the truck and came flying at Edward. He grabbed the werewolf's front legs and slung him into the house, then he pounced on him and punched him in the face and broke his neck. Then he ran to me.

I stumbled my way out of the truck as I watched Edward coming straight for me. He grabbed me without stopping, and carried me into the next house. Once we were inside, he put me down, then pulled me to him insistently, and stared into my eyes. He placed his hands on each side of my face, and said breathlessly, "Is it really you?"

I touched his cheek. I touched his hair. I took one of his hands and held it and kissed it and started to cry. I wasn't sure I would ever see his beauty again.

"I was so stupid," he breathed. "I should have known you would never say those th. . . " I didn't give him time to finish, I was kissing him. When I broke away he said, "I just found the letter two days ag. . . ." I was kissing him again. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted my feet off the ground as he kissed me. He crushed me to his stone body. I felt his cold lips press into mine and I felt like I was home after so long.

I could feel my heart racing in my chest, the blood was pulsing through my veins again. I could smell his scent all around me and I was perfect.

When he let me back down, our foreheads were touching as he said, "I'm so sorry I lost faith in you."

I stared at him with wide eyes and said, "Edward, I lost faith in you too. I have to tell you what happened . . ."

He put his finger up to my lips and shook his head as he said, "I know the madness I was in when I had to leave you, and the madness I have endured for the past seven months. What happened here is no different than me wandering around mountainsides killing everything animal in sight, or huddled in an attic in Brazil grieving for you. We don't ever have to speak about it again."

I hugged him tight to me. I am sure he had seen what had happened with Jake through Alice, but he understood and forgave me. Oh, how I loved him. I pulled him to my lips again, and he answered completely.

When we broke free, he took my face in his hands again and said, "This time apart finally taught me." He was shaking his head and staring into my eyes. "No more delays. No more refusals. No more pushing you away." He got even closer to me and said in a determined voice, "I'll never let anyone take you from me again, understand?"

I did understand. I let out a cry of joy and pulled him to me. I crushed him to me as I whispered, "Forever," in his ear.

Just then, a window came crashing in on us and Rosalie came flying into the room. She jumped to her feet and was about to leap back out the window when she saw us. She put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes as she said, "A little help would be nice." Then she was out the window.

Edward turned to me. "I need you to stay in here, hide and don't come out. There are helicopters waiting about two miles away, I will be back for you." He kissed me one more time, and then he was out the door.

His kisses still burned on my lips. He hadn't stopped believing. He hadn't lost faith. My prince came for me.

I hated being stuck in here when Edward and his family were out there fighting. I made my way around the glass and looked out the window trying to get a glimpse of what was happening, but there was no view to the village from this room. I moved into the bedroom to look out that window, when I heard heavy labored breathing. It startled me. I looked around in the dark room, and then I saw Sam.

He was crumpled on the floor, sweat was running down his face and he had a huge gaping wound in his stomach. There was blood all around him. I backed away and he chuckled as he said, "Looks like he came for you."

I didn't say anything.

He licked his lips and closed his eyes. His breathing was labored as he said, "I thought for sure you would believe me when I told you he had forgotten about you."

I shook my head. "I knew he would never stop loving me."

He gave a look of disgust. "You fell into Jake's arms fast enough, and Jake seemed to take the bait fairly easily. He was such an easy pawn."

I narrowed my eyes. "Jake is a better person than you'll ever be."

He leaned off the wall and said, "Jake was weak!" He flinched and clenched his teeth from the movement.

"No, Sam. You are the weak one. You were a good man once, but you became a person Emily could never love." He just glared at me and smirked.

"This isn't over," he whispered. He clenched his teeth and then his eyes closed, but his labored breathing told me he was still alive.

I slowly began to back out of the room. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I knew I couldn't stay in that room with him another second.

I walked out into the kitchen and looked out the window again. I saw Carlisle and Alice run by. I was so glad to see they were safe. After about ten minutes, I decided I was leaving here to find another place to hide. I didn't want to be this close to Sam. I peeked out the front door to make sure it was safe to move out, when I felt a strong hand around my neck. It was Sam. His wound was still bleeding, but he appeared to be much stronger than he looked in the bedroom.

"One of the best parts of being a werewolf, is we're fast healers," he whispered in my ear.

My fingers were digging into his hand trying to loosen his hold on my neck. I was coughing and gagging. He stepped out the door and turned his head right and left all the while holding on to my neck. He chose to go right. He grabbed me around my middle and put one hand over my mouth as we ran.

He began to weave his way through the houses until we came to his house. He grabbed his keys and ran to his truck. He was throwing me in. I had my feet up on the sides of the door fighting to stay out, when Sam was suddenly hit from the side. I turned to see Edward fighting him to the ground. Sam phased immediately, but before he got his bearing, Edward had Sam's jaws in his hands pulling in different directions. Sam was squealing and fighting to get at Edward with his claws, when off the rooftop, came two more werewolves.

"No!" I screamed.

From outside the village, I saw another werewolf coming very fast. He looked larger and more powerful than any other werewolf, including Sam. I screamed thinking there was no way Edward could get out of this. Edward was fighting off the two werewolves while Sam was struggling to his feet. The other, larger werewolf launched himself off his powerful haunches and to my absolute shock, landed squarely on Sam.

They both went flying and rolling to the ground as dust flew up all around them. As I looked closer at the werewolf, I realized to my joy, that it was Jake. I heard a mournful yelp and turned to see a werewolf land at Edward's feet. The other werewolf seemed confused that one of his own had attacked his leader, and he backed up watching the scene while staying crouched and ready to pounce.

Sam had got away from Jake and was circling so that he might turn and make another attack. Edward and Jake ended up with their backs facing each other to meet the next charge. Edward ran first. Jake ran one second later.

Edward attacked his enemy with fury. He slammed his fist into the werewolf's face and turned lightning quick to slam his foot into his neck. He then picked up the werewolf at each end and slammed the werewolf's back over his knee. There was a sickening crack and the werewolf fell lifeless to the ground.

He turned to see if I was all right, and then he ran to Jake and Sam. Sam had seen that Jake was stronger than him, and he was running back into the village. Edward turned and ran after both of them. Once they were in the middle of the houses, I couldn't see them anymore.

I was running back to the house I had been staying in, when I heard a menacing growl behind me. A werewolf was low to the ground staring at me. His ears twitched and his eyes narrowed as he drew back on his hind feet and jumped at me. I backed up preparing to run when all of the sudden, Jasper was in front of me.

"Jasper," I breathed.

He was crouched and ready to fight, when we both saw another werewolf coming at us and closing fast. I stiffened and prepared to run. It was Sam.

At the same moment the first werewolf attacked Jasper, Sam grabbed me and ran. He threw me on his back and ran at lightning speed into the house with all the ammunition and phased back to his human form. He was breathing heavily and locking the door when Edward came crashing through it.

Sam backed up. He was smiling. Edward stared at him with black eyes. His lips were curled up over his teeth and I could hear his growl simmering deep in his chest.

He took a step closer to Sam, and Sam backed up again. "Not so tough without 300 werewolves to back you up, are you Sam," Edward sneered.

"You go to hell, bloodsucker!" he spat.

"If I go, I'm taking you with me," Edward shot back.

Edward was on him then. He got in a terrible blow before Sam could phase. Sam's left arm went completely limp. Sam had just phased when Edward jumped up to give him a kick with both of his feet that sent Sam flying. At that moment, five more werewolves came running into the house. Edward grabbed me and threw me on his back as he jumped through the closest window.

I reached into my pocket and lifted a grenade into Edward's face while I smiled. He gave me a look of complete surprise as he said, "I love you."

"I know." I said.

Edward pulled the pin out with his teeth and launched the grenade into the house. One werewolf was just starting to jump out the window at us as he saw the grenade hit the floor.

Edward grabbed me and took off running. He shielded me with his body as he ran. I head Sam yell, "Cullen, you leech! You son of a . . .!" I felt the shock of the blast before I heard it. Edward kept running as I watched a huge mushroom cloud of fire fill the sky.

I got my wish. I saw Sam die.

There were multiple explosions. Debris was falling everywhere. The blast had taken out several other houses, and more were catching fire. I had just let out a sigh of relief. We were done. We could leave this place, when I heard Edward let out a sound of alarm. I turned to see three werewolves coming at us. As I turned my head, I saw three more coming from the other direction. I drew in my breath sharply and Edward turned his head. We were completely surrounded.

The werewolves stopped for a moment, their ears twitched and they were gnashing their teeth as they pulled back on their haunches. Then they attacked. Edward tried to shield them from me with his body, but they pulled him down and wrestled me from his grasp.

I tried to run, but one dark gray werewolf came at me. His eyes glowed in the moonlight as he snarled and stuck his claws out straight as he jumped on me. I had my arms up to defend myself, but he just bit my arm, almost breaking it in two. He knocked me to the ground and I watched in shock and terror as he sank his jaws first into my shoulder, and then into my stomach.

At first I didn't feel anything, then the pain washed over me. I heard Edward scream, "Bella!" I looked over to see the five werewolves pulling him to the ground. He was fighting valiantly. Throwing them off and struggling to get to me.

All of the sudden, I felt something else on top of me. A red werewolf grabbed the gray one attacking me and bit him hard in the neck. I heard a large snap and the gray werewolf fell limp to the side of me. Through my pain, I recognized the red werewolf was Jake. He phased back into a human and began running with me. I saw Rosalie jumping into the middle of the swarm on Edward and throwing off werewolves. I then saw Emmett, and then Esme, and I knew Edward would be all right.

My eyes closed.

"No Bella!" Jake yelled. "Stay with me, stay awake!" He kept running from the village and turning his head. When he saw we were safe, he stopped.

"You're gonna be okay, everything's going to be all right," he said soothingly. He leaned down on one knee as he lifted up my arm to look at my stomach and then he swore. He held me closer to him and said, "Don't you die Bella, don't you dare die!" He started crying while he held me tightly against his chest and rocked me back and forth.

I opened my eyes and put my hand on his face, "Love . . . you." I whispered. He was sobbing.

"I know you do, Bella. I love you too."

My eyes closed again and my hand fell off his face. I could hear someone running at us, then I heard Edward let out a cry.

Jake was handing me over to Edward. I tried to open one eye, but it was so hard. Before Jake let go of me, I heard him say fiercely to Edward, "Save her!"

I could feel Edward running then. I tried to lift my hand but I couldn't. I whispered, "Die . . . in your . . . arms."

He let out a sigh and said, "Are you kidding? I have a fiancee who rams werewolves with trucks and carries grenades in her pocket, that kind of girl I want with me forever." I could hear the whir of helicopter propellers and then Edward knelt down on the ground. I could feel him hold my hand and then he said, "I believe this is yours." I felt my ring go back on my finger and I smiled faintly.

I tried to whisper something but he couldn't hear me. He lifted my head to his ear and I said, "My blood."

He put his mouth to my ear and said, "It doesn't bother me a bit Bella, not a bit! I won, just like you said I would." I could hear the triumph in his voice, then a pause as he said, "Bella, are you ready?" I nodded my head and coughed. I could feel sticky liquid closing off my air.

"Are you sure?" His voice broke with uncertainty.

"Forever," I mouthed.

"I love you," he whispered. I gripped his arm, and then I felt his teeth sink into my neck.

**Yes! Finally! Don't forget the epilogue!!**


	22. Epilogue Until the End of Time

It had been seventy-one years since I had been to a funeral in La Push, but this was one I wouldn't have missed for anything.

I had come to say goodbye to an old friend.

It was strange being back here. The memories hit me hard and I closed my eyes and let them come flooding back into my mind. The motorcycles, the laughter, his beautiful smile.

I walked into the chapel and scanned quickly for anyone who would recognize me. It was a trained reaction, but an unnecessary one. It was just as my research had said, he was the last one. The oldest, and most respected of all the tribal leaders. He had died peacefully in his sleep, and now everyone for miles around were coming to honor him and pay their respects.

I saw his wife standing by the casket. I could see that she was once very beautiful. She was crying. There were two large grown men on each side of her lovingly supporting her and holding her hands. It was easy to see they were her sons. It took my breath away to see how much they looked like their father.

I walked up and looked into the casket. My shoulders sagged and I took a deep breath when I saw him. He was old. The lines were etched deep in his face, and his hair had grayed. But he also had that same playfulness around his mouth. He was still handsome. His chest still looked powerful.

A sob grew in my chest. I reached out and touched his hand. I was surprised when his hand wasn't warm like it had always been. Of course, it wouldn't be. It was now cold, as cold as mine.

Oh, Jacob. I thought. How I have loved and missed you. I squeezed his hand harder. There was a very long line behind me, and I knew I should move along, but I couldn't tear myself away, not yet. He had saved me in so many ways. He was so good. So brave. My Jake. I touched his face and whispered, "Love you."

I made my way to my seat. I would probably be the only person in the room not crying today, if they could see inside me, they would know how deeply this man's life had affected me. That no matter how many years went by, I would never let myself forget him.

The service was beautiful. His children spoke of his wisdom as a father, and his love and devotion as a husband. Many spoke of his greatness as a leader. He had settled numerous disputes and brought peace to many with his ability to handle a problem with humor and love.

One of his grandsons spoke of how Grandpa Jake would take him on camping trips and that late at night around the fire, he would tell him stories of the legends about werewolves and vampires. The grandson's favorite story was about a werewolf and a vampire who both loved the same girl. He would make his Grandpa Jake tell him that story over and over.

His family was beautiful. He had been very happy. He had been surrounded in love and had given back love in return. I was so grateful for that.

I was making my way out of the chapel, when a middle-aged woman approached me. She was Jacob's oldest daughter. She grabbed my arm and tears filled her eyes as she stared at me. I gave back a smile, thinking she was just thanking everyone for coming, but that wasn't it.

"He told me you'd come," she said.

I blinked away the surprise and began to tell her she must have me confused with someone else.

"No," she shook her head slowly. "I know it is you. I recognized you from his description as soon as you walked in the door."

I stared at her, not sure of what I should say.

She grabbed my hand and said, "Thank you for coming Bella, he and I were very close, he told me all about you. It was our little secret. He loved you very much."

I swallowed hard. "I loved him too," I said. "Very much."

She hugged me. It was a little shocking. I had not been hugged by a human for a very, very, long time.

"Thank you again for coming," She said into my shoulder. I squeezed her tighter, her eyes were tear-filled as she pulled back to look at me one more time, then she walked away.

I drove to Forks and stopped in front of my house thinking about Charlie and Renee. I had done my best to keep in touch with them. Weekly phone calls and letters. They had been gone for a long time.

I sat there in my car staring at the front door. The driveway. My bedroom window.

I thought about how Edward would come and pick me up for school as soon as Charlie left. My excitement at seeing him. How I could never get enough of him. None of that had changed.

How I treasured those nights in my bedroom. I thought about how after all those long months alone, he was suddenly in my room again one night. He came back to me. My miracle had come back to me. It wasn't easy, but we had finally found our way.

The last time I had gone to La Push, Edward had been angry. I had come back home not knowing where Edward was, or how he would handle me being there. This time, I knew exactly where he would be.

I drove to the Seattle airport and boarded the private jet that would take me to him. I landed in a small airport off the coast of Bermuda and boarded the much smaller sea-plane for the last leg of my journey.

As I settled down for the hour flight, I thought back to that fateful night that Sam took me from Edward. The hard to quench passion between Edward and I, the horrible things I'd said to Edward. Now, all these years later, it still hurt to remember Edward's face when I said those words.

Alice had seen everything, but not until Sam found me in the forest when I ran from the house. Sam did not expect me to come running right to him, but as soon as I did, the events were set in stone.

Alice and Jasper were in a very remote place. She tried to contact Edward immediately, but could not get through. The entire family had searched for him for seven months. They had looked for me as well. They went to Tucson and followed leads. They traveled to many desolate places that Alice kept seeing in her mind, but they could never find me.

They did finally find us, but in very different ways. Alice left the letter in the meadow, hoping Edward would return there at some point. And he did.

Alice found me that same night. It was the night I told Jake I couldn't be with him. I had walked outside and looked up at the stars. The stars became Alice's compass. Using a constellation map, they finally had something to go on. The next night, using a helicopter, they traveled back and forth until Edward finally heard a voice that was thinking of me. He heard Jake.

Alice is always proud of the fact that with her mind she found both of us on the same day.

I thought about Edward changing me. I do remember the pain somewhat, but what I remember most is Edward holding me for three days and whispering words of love and encouragement to me. He was the first face I saw when I awoke.

He and I were married within the week, and that problem we'd been having with needing to stick to the rules . . .well, let's just say, that was no longer a problem.

Not once, have I ever regretted what I now am. I have a beautiful family with the Cullens. We are very close, even though Edward and I do live apart from them from time to time. I am beyond happiness.

I still look at my lovely angel, and sometimes the love I have for him completely overtakes me. I will, just as I promised myself, spend the rest of the world's days loving him. I take care of him and respect and love him. He cherishes me and I feel completely loved in return. He is my miracle and I will never let him go.

The plane is landing. It is gliding to a stop on the water. I pull open the door and breathe in the salty sea air. It is a beautiful sunny day, and as soon as the plane leaves, I take off my hat and long-sleeves. I am no longer worried about my skin giving away any secrets, there is no one on this island but Edward and I.

The water is clear with a blue - green color. Edward and I swim in this lagoon often. I walk slowly up the beach and turn to a group of palm trees that are swaying in the breeze. I walk past our lovely beach house and there, I finally see him. His shirt is off, and his skin is sparkling magnificently in the sun. He is smiling radiantly and holding his arms out to me, beckoning me to come to him. My archangel is waiting for me, just as he promised, in the hammock.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Well, this story is done. I can't even begin to thank all of you. This has been one of the funnest things I have ever done. Your reviews made me laugh, they made me think, and they made me want to work harder and make this story better.**

**I keep thinking how much fun it would be to all get in our jammies and stay up all night eating pizza and ice cream and talk and cry about Edward and, well, basically just Edward. I guess it can't happen, but I was in my pajamas for most of the time I wrote this story, so I guess that counts.**

**I am wasting too much of your time. But, if you want to play along, I thought it would be fun to ask what your favorite scene or line was from the story. Here are some of mine:**

**Favorite Line: "Tough luck, you stupid useless vampire." - still my favorite and was my inspiration for starting the story.**

**Favorite chapter title: "Fatal Vow." I thought it was kinda catchy.**

**Favorite scene: I have two; Bella and Edward jumping off the cliff together, and the chocolate scene.**

**Favorite passionate scene: Well heck, that would have to be when Edward reached down and locked his door and they fell to the floor. I really wish I was Bella.**

**Honorable Mentions: The Space Needle/proposal scene**

**The Tweety Bird at the carnival scene.**

**Jake telling Edward to save Bella**

**Having the story end in the hammock**

**Like I said, no big deal if you don't, I just thought it would be fun to know. If enough people want to do it, maybe I could post the results tomorrow.**

**If you are still reading:**

**There a few things I want to clear up:**

**In the last battle scene, the werewolves phased back and forth to humans. I know that if they did this, there would be a lot of naked guys running around, but I left this out of the story. I hope that's okay.**

**Some of you thought that Bella never should have been with Jake in the chapter "Faith" I kinda felt it was necessary to my story, because Bella had never really been with anyone but Edward. I thought that she should have the experience of really kissing a human to cement in her mind that Edward was really all she wanted.**

**Some of you thought it was harsh having Bella and Edward separated again. Edward wasn't getting it. He was going to have her wait five years and have her do human stuff, and then who knows what he would try to pull to keep her human. He needed something drastic to wake him up and make him see how things really were.**

**In the end, they were both willing to give up what they wanted most just to be together. Bella said she would give up demanding Edward change her, and just die in his arms when she got old, and Edward was willing to change her and not delay anymore.**

**Someone else wondered why New Mexico. Well, I wanted to take the story someplace where it didn't rain, just for a change. The werewolves didn't always live there, they were just there to protect a human that was in danger of becoming a vampire. It would be easier to guard her where it was sunny, because vampires have trouble with the sun, and the village was desolate and easy to secure. (Except from parachutes)**

**If you are still reading:**

**I will put out another story before the summer is over. It is called "Beautiful Soul" and it is already written. It is completely different from this story. There is not one battle scene and Jake is only mentioned in passing. It is not as good and was written when I first finished Twilight and New Moon and was out of my mind in love with Edward. I have only improved my love-sickness enough to write a little better. Why do I love a character in a book so much? Is he really out there? Will I ever find him? Sigh, I just don't know. Thank you so much for reading my story. You are the best.**

**-edwardsoul**

**Hey - don't worry, I am not writing a trilogy of Coming Back To You! Edward and Bella are about as Happily Ever After as they can possibly be. Oh, I wish I was in that hammock. (snap out of it).**

**For anyone who cares, I have the results of your voting:**

**THE ENVELOPE PLEASE . . . . .**

**Most favorite Scene: When Edward locks the door and. . . .well we all know what happened.**

**Favorite Chapters: It was a tie. Monster (the one w/the fav. Scene in it) and the Epilogue.**

**There were a few other scenes that got votes: Jake telling Edward to save Bella**

**Jake's funeral**

**Edward and Bella reuniting during the battle.**

**The Hammock**

**You all had different fav. Lines, so I didn't do those. Although many liked lines from the carnival.**

**Do you want to know my stats? Sometimes it's fun to compare them to your own stories.**

**Hits: 14,333**

**Reviews: 415 duh, I know you can see this one.**

**favs: 63**

**alerts: 90**

**c2s: 5**

**I tried to e-mail back many of you and thank you for this great fun. You have made it the best thing ever. It wouldn't have been as much fun without each and every one of you. See yo around the site!**


	23. RESULTS

Hey - don't worry, I am not writing a trilogy of Coming Back To You! Edward and Bella are about as Happily Ever After as they can possibly be. Oh, I wish I was in that hammock. (snap out of it).

For anyone who cares, I have the results of your voting:

THE ENVELOPE PLEASE . . . . .

**Most favorite Scene:** When Edward locks the door and. . . .well we all know what happened.

**Favorite Chapters**: It was a tie. Monster (the one w/the fav. Scene in it) and the Epilogue.

**There were a few other scenes that got votes**:

Jake telling Edward to save Bella

Jake's funeral

Edward and Bella reuniting during the battle.

The Hammock

You all had different fav. Lines, so I didn't do those. Although many liked lines from the carnival.

Do you want to know my stats? Sometimes it's fun to compare them to your own stories.

Hits: 14,333

Reviews: 415 duh, I know you can see this one.

favs: 63

alerts: 90

c2s: 4

I tried to e-mail back many of you and thank you for this great fun. You have made it the best thing ever. It wouldn't have been as much fun without each and every one of you. See you around the site! - edwardsoul


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